General Chat

if you went to a restaurant that had absolutely NOTHING on the menu that you could, or want to, eat??

Leave? Stay and eat something you hate?

Last night we went out with friends (someone's birthday), looked at the menu and there wasn't one thing listed that I could eat! Either because of allergies or the restricted diet I'm currently on (I'm not on a losing weight diet, I've been advised to cut certain foods out for a while, especially fatty things).

I said sorry to the birthday girl, said I'd wait at the bar (I really didn't want to sit and watch others eat).

When it was time to leave......... the birthday girl & her other half walked straight past me. They said goodnight to my DH, but ignored me completely!

Who was rude?

I don't think it was me.

I'm not eating something that could make me sick, just to keep somebody else happy!

:-(

Rant over.

certainly not you - they were extremely rude

I don't eat out much, but there is usually something I can eat. Being vegetarian if I am going somewhere I usually check their menu out in advance as I did recently, that didn't quite work out as planned as the other person ( related) decided she wanted to go somewhere else lol, which turned out to be noisy, late service and indifferent food, so I settled for a jacket potato, and the satisfaction of knowing I was right and she was wrong ;-)

I think in your situation tbh I would have stayed at the table while they ate, had a drink and maybe a dessert or starter only if there was one suitable ?

But yes it was rude of her to ignore you, if I was with someone who couldn't order from the menu, as a friend I would have said ok lets go elsewhere instead :-)

Is this lady really a friend?? I think she was unsympathetic towards you and very rude.

I think she should have said that she was sorry you couldn't have anything
from the menu and perhaps the two of you could to a restaurant of your choice at a later date.. :-) :-)

I would have explained the situation to the staff because, if the chef has any skill at all, he could produce food you could eat.

I can understand the point of view of the lady who had the birthday to some extent though. Not for one moment would I expect you to flounce and seek attention but, if that was what you were intent on doing, that would have been a Godsend to you, on HER special day.

We live in a very small town (less than 5,000 people), so there's not much around, a couple of pubs, the golf club, and a few restaurants in the next town over.

The restaurant we went to last night.... we've been there before, they've only been there about eight months, at first they were quite good, but have gone downhill very fast! When we walked in I could smell the cooking oil (eww, when was that last changed?)... and when I asked about peanuts & peanut oil, the waitress didn't know and she didn't offer to ask the chef! I'm not going to risk it. She never offered to get me something that suited.

The last time I ate there (I think it was in early December) I "settled" for a chicken schnitzel (breaded chicken breast) and it was awful.. the chicken was overcooked & dired out, and the crumbs were burned. If a chef can't cook a simple schnitzel he should try another profession.

I'm still shocked and a teeny bit upset at the birthday woman..... but not really surprised...... she can be very moody!!

I'm pleased you all agree with me..... I wasn't deliberately rude to anyone, just trying to look after my health.

and......... I've never "flounced" in my life lolol


I forgot to say............. my DH had a hamburger... because there wasn't much on the menu that he wanted.............. he's not a fan of tiny bits of food artistically arranged on a big white plate lol .... he likes his food.

I certainly wouldn't risk anywhere I didn't trust 100% if I had a nut allergy, it has just been in the news here, someone died because the curry house owner decided to save money and swapped almond powder for a cheaper nut powder which contained peanuts.
:-(

I always ask when we go to a new restaurant, what ingredients they use. I do this quietly because many people get annoyed, they seem to think I'm making a fuss about nothing! Again, I'm not eating anything that will make me sick, just to make somebody else happy.

Peanuts aren't life threatening for me (but I do have a friend who carries an epi pen (?) and we all know we have to stab her if she falls over. I get "violently" ill and spent at least three days in the loo with a bucket at my feet. Not recommended as a way to lose weight.

What I find annoying (and stupid) is the list of contents on some foods "may contain traces of nuts"........ what sort of nuts? I know the machines are used to make lots of different things, but it would be nice to be more informed. If food can be labeled Halal, I should know if peanuts are used!!!

When friends and I go out, one of us usually picks a restaurant - then asks the others if they like the menu!
The last couple of times, we went to Pizza restaurants.
When I eat out, I refuse to have anything I usually cook for myself, I also don't like pizza, or pasta much, but always found a couple of things I'd like to try - but then I'm fortunate in that I don't have any health threatening dietary problems.

We won't be going back to the last restaurant. It was a bad start when a pile of glasses was knocked over near us - and I was covered in shards of glass - fortunately before the meal was ordered. It was an accident, true, but they gave us no deduction from the bill for the disruption.
The food was so-so too. :-(

As a follow up, I would write to the owner and ask that he/she ensures that the staff are aware that a nut allergy can be fatal. Not maybe in your case but you could also point out that in some people it can cause an extreme reaction. I don't know what your laws are but ours have tightened up a lot on restaurants informing people about the contents.
Actually it is far better for them to say 'may contain traces of nuts' than to say nothing. The poor man who died would proably have preferred they said something rather than nothing.

As you apologised to the birthday 'girl', I don't think you were rude. It depends how friendly you are I suppose, if she knows you well she maybe should be aware that you have allergies and either shouldn't have invited you or shoulld have checked with the restaurant beforehand if there was going to be anything you could eat. Out of interest LS what could you have eaten?

Scozz, I am really surprised that the chef could not knock you up a salad or a plate of vegies at the very least.

LadyScozz, further to AnninGlos's recommendation to contact the owner, yu could show them this:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer

I know it's in the UK, but may shake him up a bit!!

I appear to be in a tiny minority, but to me, leaving the table at a birthday celebration and sitting alone at the bar for the whole meal really is very rude.

Seafood of any sort makes me ill. I have had to go to seafood restaurants with friends, and got stuck eating whatever single chicken item was on the menu. Not my idea of a good food experience or value for money, but the company was th thing.

There wasn't a salad on the menu, or you couldn't have requested one?

Even if not ... what harm could have come from staying at the table and watching everyone else eat ... while simply and quietly saying, if asked, that you were feeling slightly unwell and thought it best to avoid eating, but you were happy to be there for the birthday dinner?

Yes it's nice if people choose restaurants that can accommodate every need and desire, but it was her birthday, so she really did get to choose the restaurant, and people who wanted to celebrate with her were welcome.

Either one wants to celebrate a friend's birthday with her, or one wants to have one's own way about what the choice of meal will be.

To me, the friend may have been slightly ungracious at the end, but leaving the table was terribly ungracious and really amounted to snubbing her at her own birthday party.

I would have declined food but enjoyed the company who did eat, while staying at the table,

i often go to restaurants with work which i wont eat in, because im fussy, but i just order a big cocktail pitcher, n still enjoy the company while they have there meal,or i just order a side,

I think your friend was rude ignoring you, however she may have been offended by your actions,

LS ...

not sure what I would have done

1. The waitress should have known whether they used peanuts or peanut oils

2. As she didn't, she should have gone immediately to check with the chef and then returned to tell you

I have a lactose intolerance ..... it won't kill me, but exactly 4 hours after I've had any, I will spend 4 hours in the loo. It's very unpleasant, and I much prefer not to repeat the experience.

I always say before I order "I am lactose-intolerant". I then usually ask "I would like to have (such-and -such an item on the menu) if it is OK for me".

I get one of 2 responses ........... one is the immediate "yes, that will be fine for you, we might change the potatoes", or "No, you can't have that."

I don't think I have ever had a response "I don't know", without the follow-up "but I will check with Chef".

If we are making our own reservation in a new restaurant, OH always asks if they have options for someone who is lactose-intolerant.

The only time I have had an experience similar to your was at the wedding reception for a family member ........... they had chosen a woman who was just starting to do wedding receptions (as against small lunches and teas). The buffet looked excellent ......... but she told me that butter was involved in literally every dish except two salads. One of those salads contained cheese.

The wedding cake was carrot cake with a cream cheese icing, the bride's favourite.

So my dinner consisted of a small salad!

I was sitting next to the groom's father, who asked if I was on a restricted diet.

I was honest .... "no, but there was nothing else that I can eat".


In your case, I think I might have stayed at the table, but that could also have looked bad, sitting there with an empty plate.

I do think she was wrong in being ungracious at the end.

I am going to defend restaurants in general.

If you have any allergy please phone the restaurant prior to the day and TELL them what intolerances you have.

I arranged a wedding and the groom had a nut allergy, so bad that we discussed the implications months before hand.

He had his own crockery and cutlery (carefully washed and dried by one person). His food was cooked at a separate station to avoid any contamination and he sat down for the wedding breakfast knowing everything possible had been done to protect him.

Restaurants cannot always accommodate your requests but they will try if given a chance.

With the litigious world we live in chefs simply will not take a chance and declare their food 'free from'.

The waitress had to refer to the chef, it wouldn't have been the same one every day for 7 days and the food may well have been prepped by staff on shift the day before.

All restaurants worth visiting will prepare a salad or an omelette or even a toastie so you don't starve.

I didn't leave the table.... I never sat down!

I looked at the menu and the specials board (at the entrance).

There was a salad on the menu, which comes with every meal..... a small bowl of shredded lettuce and half a cherry tomato.

We've been to that restaurant before, I ate and got sick, or got a burned meal.

I would have sat down and not eaten, because I am there to be with friends. I have done this very thing.. we were meeting a couple of friends for lunch along the coast of our South Island.. they were coming up from Invercargill and we were going down from Dunedin.. the setting was lovely but as we were traveling down I started feeling queasy and I got worse as we drove down.. and hey it was my idea originally that we meet up.

We shouted the other couple their lunch and we talked all through the meal and joked and I said to her (she knew I was unwell) trouble is we are paying and we can only afford it if I don't eat.. to which she nearly choked on her chips.

That was the last time I saw that friend alive she died about a year later, her illness came on very quickly. I talked to her by phone when she was in her hospital bed. We could not go down to the funeral the air fares were horrific and so we sent her husband $300 to help out.

I would have kicked myself if I had spent the time at the bar drinking mineral water and not with them. She had just achieved her degree at Uni (started this late in life) and we were to attend the capping ceremony but that was not to be.

Persie

I would have sat at the table with them even if I only pushed a bit of lettuce around the plate and went home hungry. It was a birthday meal and I think not sitting with the group put them in a difficult position. They may have rushed their meal a bit because of knowing you were on your own at the bar and it must have made conversation with your OH a bit awkward.

I think the birthday girl was rude not to acknowledge you when they left but I can understand her feeling a bit miffed.