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trying to find my real dad and any family members

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

sarah

sarah Report 26 Oct 2014 22:46

i have never meet or seen a picture of my real dad, i don't have a lot of information about him not even any info on my birth certificate and my family doesn't really talk of my dad and seem to upset them if i try too.
i am looking for my dad as well as any of his side of the family as i know nothing about them family name is (pugh) his first name is martin, my mothers name back then was Jayne Elisabeth Hinton, i was born 20/ 05/ 1988 at new cross hospital Wolverhampton west midlands, i think the family or my real dad owned a pub, in the west midlands area if that helps in anyway? as fas i know he still lives in west midlands area, me and my mum moved to the west country when i was 9 so not able to even give road names of past addresses/ street names that only he would know to help narrow the search,
on the birth certificate my full name is Sarah Jayne Taylor
any info or help would be very appreciated even if i just get to see a picture of him would be more then enough.

thanks for reading and hopefully more info xx :-)

patchem

patchem Report 26 Oct 2014 23:14

Welcome to the boards, Sarah.

Does Martin know of your existence?

Thank-you

sarah

sarah Report 26 Oct 2014 23:30

yes he does i think he came to see me wen i was born and is the only time he has to my knowing.
thanks x

patchem

patchem Report 26 Oct 2014 23:38

According to free bmd there were Martin Pugh's born in Wolverhampton in 1967 and 1969. (I am guessing as to his age)

http://www.freebmd.org.uk/cgi/search.pl

Are you in contact with your Mother, as she may hold more information? (Such as his parents names, or any siblings)

sarah

sarah Report 26 Oct 2014 23:55

I've tried to talk to my mum to find out more, she won't tell me anything, not sure why?, i don't even have my real dad's name on my birth certificate. The rest of my family don't or won't let me know anything. So no help there and have nothing about him.
Thank you very much for searching will have a look, the age seems about right.
Any other useful suggestions or ideas or places to search as i don't have much to go on and no family surport.

and thank u for finding the link xx

:-)

+++DetEcTive+++

+++DetEcTive+++ Report 27 Oct 2014 09:08

You may have to ask yourself why your mum doesn't want to talk about him. She may believe that he wasn't a 'nice person' and doesn't want him back in her and your life.

If she'll tell you which secondary school she went to, or who she worked for you might find a section on Friendsreunited. Her contemporaries might remember the names of her boyfriends.

As it was obviously a painful period for her, you do have to be careful not to upset her.

You might want to think about removing your full date of birth as you've given all the info needed for your identity to be hijacked!

Jacqueline

Jacqueline Report 27 Oct 2014 09:45

Does your mother know that you are doing this?

I realise that, as an adult, you don't actually need her permission, but considering her feelings should still be a priority.

Also, in giving details about her as you have, you are possibly invading her privacy

jax

jax Report 27 Oct 2014 14:18

So Mr Taylor is not down as being your father then on your birth cert?

sarah

sarah Report 28 Oct 2014 02:36

mr taylor is on my birth cert but I know he's not my dad as he can not have children, I was very young don't really remember him or can place him and do not know anything about him ? x

sarah

sarah Report 28 Oct 2014 03:32

hey Jacqueline

I have tried to consider everyone and there feelings in this matter and totally respectful, I have tried to talk to her about it as well as trying to include her, I understand how this topic is really upsetting and her possible concerns and her reaction or not wanting to talk about it.
I have not her im trying to as I don't want to upset her, but it is something I need to do and now ready to, I don't know what I can do?
I guess the situation is upsetting for us both, I just need to know the other side to me and my dna and to see what he looks like, im different in quiet a few ways to the rest of my family. I guess every child wants to fill in the gaps .... I did find him she would the first person I would tell before I ever met or started to communicate with in all fairness, I wish I could know all about him without bring up the past but there isn't that's why I came across this site but with lack of knowledge its hard to know were to start and the info I gave is the only information he would known about and all I had to go by if I new more than I could of used that but thank u for ur concern and bringing it to my attention as I can see were ur coming from xx

sarah

sarah Report 28 Oct 2014 09:28

hey all I may of found something to go on ? he has a UK Companies House Directors 2002-2013 the lion pub ? I'm not 100% if it cud be but matches the date of potentially being my real dad ? im still new to all this and unsure of what 2 do next ......
plz help?
thanks sarah xx

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 28 Oct 2014 10:15

Hi Sarah

Where did you find that information?

Was it......192.com Director Search?

I have information regarding the Martin born 1969 which I will send to you by PM.

MargaretM

MargaretM Report 28 Oct 2014 13:22

I don't like your use of the words "real dad". If he hasn't seen you since the day you were born he's not a real dad. Biological dad yes but not real dad.

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 28 Oct 2014 20:54

Hi again Sarah

I see you have opened my PM...........but no reply :-(

I really don't mind if you refer to your Father as your "real dad" or "biological dad"

Whatever.............he is your Dad. <3

I hope you get back to us.

Dougieb1

Dougieb1 Report 28 Oct 2014 22:50

I think there are a couple of things that you should do prior to continuing with your search.

Explain to your mother why you want knowledge of your biological father.

Tell her that your quest does not mean that you love her any less.

Try to get her on your side

Try to find out from her if your birth father had any middle names or if she knew his parents or if he had any siblings.

This will aid your search

If you gain any further significant information from your mother then the next move would be to apply for a copy of his birth certificate.

This will then indicate that you have the right person.

Please also be aware that your father will probably have a partner & a family who may have no knowledge of your existence.

Please be sure that the person that you are seeking is proved to be the right individual before you try to make any contact.

Regards,

Dougie

sarah

sarah Report 31 Oct 2014 09:09

hey prickelyholly I found it on here then looked on 182 after 2 see what the business was x

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 31 Oct 2014 21:39

Go for it.............and lets see what happens.

Good luck!!!

<3

Kevin

Kevin Report 14 Nov 2014 21:16

just wanted to say good luck girl next door -- I hope your search goes better then mine :)

lavender

lavender Report 16 Nov 2014 19:36

It must be very hard to grow up not wondering what a parent may have looked like, what their personality is, whether one shares similar characteristics.

Not knowing why a parent has not been in your life, and why nobody will speak of the matter must cause much anguish.

Good luck with your search. Some good advice has been given by others above.
Hope that you find the information you need and are able to speak with your mother. It may feel better if you can share it.

sarah

sarah Report 7 Dec 2014 22:04

thanks all, I really do appreciate all the help and support, just hoping with the lil information that I have about him gets me 1 step closer :-)