General Chat

How to shower like a woman ~

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins...Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red...Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

:-D

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower.

Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

:-D

How long will this last?

Someone will object to the "woo-woo" noise.

:-D

If u r stuck 4 space ditch the bath & install a wet room much more congenial.

stuck for space?

naaah........ we have three bathrooms! And a laundry.

Daft really, two of us rattling around in this big house.

:-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D

love it :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

I prefer getting a bath; because when you fart in the bath it's like having a Jacuzzi ;-) :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D that sounds about right :-D :-D :-D ;-)

Graham, I agree with the jacuzzi bit ;-) ;-)

I use the bathroom that's ensuite to our bedroom and Himself uses the big bathroom (we've used separate bathrooms since the days we both were working, no point in two people trying to squash into one!).

I have a walk-in shower, He has a shower over a spa bath.... much better for him, he's not a small person, and there's plenty of elbow room for him in the bath. We've never filled it with water! Figure by the time it's full, the water would be cold, and we don't even know if the spa-bubbler works.......... but OH can make lots of bubbles all by himself.

I can't get into the bath with my wonky hip, so it's up to him to keep it clean...... I don't even look at it.

Why not use the simple system, :-D take off clothes, walk into the garden, :-D :-D switch on sprinkler system,job done. ;-) ;-)

I much prefer a bath to a shower.

Your beer doesn't get all weak and watery, your sandwich doesn't get all soapy and wet, the pages of your book don't stick together if you are careful, your fag doesn't keep going out!

How true Sharron!! ;-)

you forgot about listening to the radio...........(battery powered, of course~)

Nothing better than a long soak in the bath with the water and foam

up to your chin, and playing at submarines, up periscope down periscope. !!!!!

;-) ;-) ;-) F

And how is a woman supposed to play that?! :-D :-D :-D ;-) ;-) ;-)

improvise!!! :-D :-D

How Ann ????? Enquires with interest. :-S :-S :-S F.

:-D :-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D

It isn't the first time this particular gem has been posted on here, in fact I have it saved on my pc drive from back in 2006, but nevertheless it still raises a smile.....!

Quite so! IGP!