General Chat

In that case JoyBoro, you're very welcome at my birthday bash LOL ;-) :-D

I would of sat at the table drinking my Diet Pepsi
Nibbling on lettuce :-D :-D :-D

Scozz, perhaps the birthday girl walked past you because you had propped up the bar all night rather than sitting with them.

I am not the best one to know about allergies and fads because I eat anything put in front of me. However, I still can't get my head around the fact that the chef would not or could not make a salad or a plate of vegies for you.

I would have asked for a salad, omelette, or something simple that I could eat. If this wasn't possible I would stay at the table and make sure I was part of the conversation. I wouldn't have left my husband there on his own to celebrate with the friends as I don't think this would have been polite or fair on him. I also think that leaving the table would make more of a fuss of the situation.

I find it hard to believe that there was absolutely nothing on the menu that you could eat. A bowl of soup? Small salad with no dressing? Even just a bread bun. I think that you should have sat at the table with your friends and made conversation even if you just played with the food. I think it was in very poor taste for you to sit at the bar alone

Well, you did ask what we would have done and I certainly would not have done what you did.

Birthday or no birthday, if I knew there was nothing on the menu that I could eat I wouldn't have gone. Turning up late with a bunch of flowers and a little white lie for the birthday girl might have been a saving face all round option but hey, too late now lol. I wouldn't have gone along and sat at the bar away from the party.

Having said the above, I've juggled special dietary needs with family for years - them not me, I'm merely a veggie - it's second nature to me to ask guests if they are ok with whatever is on the menu and book accordingly.

I have had a fad about food all my life, not an allergy or anything serious, but I hate not knowing what food I am about to eat. I won't queue at a carvery because it reminds me of school dinners, which made me cry ( at night when I went to bed) as a child because I hated them so much. I had to start school dinners again when went to high school. The next five years I swirled the gravy around the plate to give the impression I had finished my meal. So what would I have done.? At my best friends wedding I ate the prawn cocktail, but I couldn't queue at the carvery for the rest of the meal, so I simply said I felt unwell. In later years I was invited to a meal by a lovely man who was really looking forward to our evening but the thought of this restaurant, yet another carvery, upset me to the point I had to say I would have to change the venue. I went with some new friends about six months ago and simply sat with a drink and made a good excuse whilst they ate and I joined in the conversation. We all had a good night. If an invitation was sent to me and I didn't like the restaurant, or anywhere where I would have to justify why I didn't want to eat, I would say that I was pleased to receive the invite but say I was really sorry that I was already going out and could we meet up as soon as possible to catch up on how their evening went.
Over the years I have come up with more reasons not to eat at someone's home or at a venue I don't like, simply because I don't enjoy most foods... however I have never managed to resist dessert so occasionally that is my last option.
I feel the invitation should have been declined.

Well I hope you have rated them on Trip Advisor.. I always do... good or bad.

When we were told during the week that a booking had been made for 20+ people, we reminded the birthday girl & her husband that I usually have a problem with that restuarant. I said I would check out the menu on Friday night. She said .. no problem.

It's not like I left her sitting on her own!

And no, that restaurant isn't one that will go out of their way to keep someone happy. I know many people who have sent meals back to the kitchen, and some who have asked for a refund!

I think your behaviour was not totally appropriate and I can well sympathise with the attitude of the host. I would have felt a bit peeved if someone I had invited to share a meal with me chose to sit at the bar instead.

If you were unhappy with the restaurant on previous visits it might have been better to politely decline the invitation, although I am surprised the kitchen couldn't supply something more suited to your taste. In my experience most restaurants are only too happy to provide alternatives for people with special preferences, and many will actually allude to this in their menu.

I should have said.......... there were twenty+ people in our group, two tables of 10 or 12.

I don't think I was missed.

And......... have heard since that not many were impressed with their meals.

I would have sat at the table with them even if I only pushed a bit of lettuce around the plate and went home hungry. It was a birthday meal and I think not sitting with the group put them in a difficult position. They may have rushed their meal a bit because of knowing you were on your own at the bar and it must have made conversation with your OH a bit awkward.

I think the birthday girl was rude not to acknowledge you when they left but I can understand her feeling a bit miffed.

I would have sat down and not eaten, because I am there to be with friends. I have done this very thing.. we were meeting a couple of friends for lunch along the coast of our South Island.. they were coming up from Invercargill and we were going down from Dunedin.. the setting was lovely but as we were traveling down I started feeling queasy and I got worse as we drove down.. and hey it was my idea originally that we meet up.

We shouted the other couple their lunch and we talked all through the meal and joked and I said to her (she knew I was unwell) trouble is we are paying and we can only afford it if I don't eat.. to which she nearly choked on her chips.

That was the last time I saw that friend alive she died about a year later, her illness came on very quickly. I talked to her by phone when she was in her hospital bed. We could not go down to the funeral the air fares were horrific and so we sent her husband $300 to help out.

I would have kicked myself if I had spent the time at the bar drinking mineral water and not with them. She had just achieved her degree at Uni (started this late in life) and we were to attend the capping ceremony but that was not to be.

Persie

I didn't leave the table.... I never sat down!

I looked at the menu and the specials board (at the entrance).

There was a salad on the menu, which comes with every meal..... a small bowl of shredded lettuce and half a cherry tomato.

We've been to that restaurant before, I ate and got sick, or got a burned meal.

I am going to defend restaurants in general.

If you have any allergy please phone the restaurant prior to the day and TELL them what intolerances you have.

I arranged a wedding and the groom had a nut allergy, so bad that we discussed the implications months before hand.

He had his own crockery and cutlery (carefully washed and dried by one person). His food was cooked at a separate station to avoid any contamination and he sat down for the wedding breakfast knowing everything possible had been done to protect him.

Restaurants cannot always accommodate your requests but they will try if given a chance.

With the litigious world we live in chefs simply will not take a chance and declare their food 'free from'.

The waitress had to refer to the chef, it wouldn't have been the same one every day for 7 days and the food may well have been prepped by staff on shift the day before.

All restaurants worth visiting will prepare a salad or an omelette or even a toastie so you don't starve.

LS ...

not sure what I would have done

1. The waitress should have known whether they used peanuts or peanut oils

2. As she didn't, she should have gone immediately to check with the chef and then returned to tell you

I have a lactose intolerance ..... it won't kill me, but exactly 4 hours after I've had any, I will spend 4 hours in the loo. It's very unpleasant, and I much prefer not to repeat the experience.

I always say before I order "I am lactose-intolerant". I then usually ask "I would like to have (such-and -such an item on the menu) if it is OK for me".

I get one of 2 responses ........... one is the immediate "yes, that will be fine for you, we might change the potatoes", or "No, you can't have that."

I don't think I have ever had a response "I don't know", without the follow-up "but I will check with Chef".

If we are making our own reservation in a new restaurant, OH always asks if they have options for someone who is lactose-intolerant.

The only time I have had an experience similar to your was at the wedding reception for a family member ........... they had chosen a woman who was just starting to do wedding receptions (as against small lunches and teas). The buffet looked excellent ......... but she told me that butter was involved in literally every dish except two salads. One of those salads contained cheese.

The wedding cake was carrot cake with a cream cheese icing, the bride's favourite.

So my dinner consisted of a small salad!

I was sitting next to the groom's father, who asked if I was on a restricted diet.

I was honest .... "no, but there was nothing else that I can eat".


In your case, I think I might have stayed at the table, but that could also have looked bad, sitting there with an empty plate.

I do think she was wrong in being ungracious at the end.

I would have declined food but enjoyed the company who did eat, while staying at the table,

i often go to restaurants with work which i wont eat in, because im fussy, but i just order a big cocktail pitcher, n still enjoy the company while they have there meal,or i just order a side,

I think your friend was rude ignoring you, however she may have been offended by your actions,

I appear to be in a tiny minority, but to me, leaving the table at a birthday celebration and sitting alone at the bar for the whole meal really is very rude.

Seafood of any sort makes me ill. I have had to go to seafood restaurants with friends, and got stuck eating whatever single chicken item was on the menu. Not my idea of a good food experience or value for money, but the company was th thing.

There wasn't a salad on the menu, or you couldn't have requested one?

Even if not ... what harm could have come from staying at the table and watching everyone else eat ... while simply and quietly saying, if asked, that you were feeling slightly unwell and thought it best to avoid eating, but you were happy to be there for the birthday dinner?

Yes it's nice if people choose restaurants that can accommodate every need and desire, but it was her birthday, so she really did get to choose the restaurant, and people who wanted to celebrate with her were welcome.

Either one wants to celebrate a friend's birthday with her, or one wants to have one's own way about what the choice of meal will be.

To me, the friend may have been slightly ungracious at the end, but leaving the table was terribly ungracious and really amounted to snubbing her at her own birthday party.

LadyScozz, further to AnninGlos's recommendation to contact the owner, yu could show them this:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/23/restaurant-owner-mohammed-zaman-guilty-of-manslaughter-of-peanut-allergy-customer

I know it's in the UK, but may shake him up a bit!!

Scozz, I am really surprised that the chef could not knock you up a salad or a plate of vegies at the very least.