General Chat

Just made a load of little fruit and spice buns and a small cake too.

I've just noticed your post Ann. I'm so sorry to hear your MIL has taken a turn for the worse and to hear how upset your FIL was to go to the home, it must of been awful for your OH. I hope things improve for everyone soon. My thoughts are with you <3 <3

Well, the sorting out of the stuff I don't need won, the garden can wait until next week. Up to now OH has 2 days off on the run so has said he would help me with the pond and I've got lots of pots that need sorting out too, so hopefully if the weather is kind to us the garden should be sorted out by the end of next week, then no doubt the weeds will be back so I'll start all over again :-D :-D :-D :-D.

That's the problem with care homes.....what they charge. I hope your OH can sort out the funding. There is a lot of sorting out to do but once it's done and in place things should improve and move along nicely. MIL can always visit. Is the home he's in now local to where your in-laws live as that would make it easier for MIL to visit more often?

I live in a small village Ruby so there isn't much to do. I used to want time to myself but now I wouldn't know what to do if I had a day to myself. It sounds very hot where you live I wouldn't be able to cope with that much heat, I'm more a winter person and love the snow. I'm hoping we get some snow this year as Sandra was a bit disappointed last year that there wasn't enough snow to build a snowman.

I see what you mean now Frank, it must be so tiring if you don't get off to sleep straight away. Have you tried a warm milky drink before bedtime that might help. I've still got that tune going around my head, to be honest I don't mind as it's such a lovely song <3.

One of the cakes I made yesterday has gone now, so it's a good job I made two. OH finished work at 2pm and when he got in he was straight in the cake tin, then of course Sandra and I had to have a piece each as well......it's only fair :-D :-D :-D.

It sounds like my washing machine's finished so I'd better go and peg the clothes out. It's gone a bit cloudy, I hope it doesn't rain :-( :-(.

Now now Ann don't get like MIL. Only joking........ How old is MIL? Is she a lot younger than FIL? I do hope you wil be able to get them sorted when MIL comes out of hospital. I can remember when nan my dads mum went into a care home and dad died a couple of years later and when nan died I had a bill of over £9000. They used to take a percentage of her pension and you had to pay the rest.

It has been tipping it sown here since about 1.45pm just as we sat down to eat and it has'nt stopped since. No wind today so it is coming straight down.

Gill my grandfather was a true cockney too. He often came out with lots of sayings. He always had a story to tell you about what they got up to in the war. They had a little dog called Blighty.

It would have been my mums 91st birthday tomorrow................................ :-(

Thanks for mentioning that Mandy. He was such a mild tempered man who only ever smacked OH once as a child and it upset him (FIL), so it was an awful shock for OH. He was shouting and screaming that he would walk home and OH thought he was going to hit him. Even when he told him calmly that MIL wanted him to stay there for a short while he shouted that OH had poisoned her mind. I've never ever seen OH in such a state as he was when he came out of the place. I can well understand how upsetting it was for you and your sister. OH's has just rung me from the hospital. His mum wasn't so well today and they are keeping her until at least Monday now.

I had to get some more keys this morning as I still haven't found the ones I lost the other day. I got 2 so I have an extra spare but aren't they expensive!!

Afternoon All,

Thanks to you all for your support. OH slept well again but I didn't so got up early. I think trying to deal with so many things while you are worried gets exhausting and gradually takes it's toll! The home has a 'good' rating Gill, but is more expensive than any funding we might get so isn't cheap........4 figures for the fortnight he is there initially and I'm not even sure there would be funding for these 2 weeks. OH has a list of tasks for next week and getting FIL assessed and looking at funding is one of them. I have found some useful sites about the process on the internet! Yes she would miss him after all these years Gill, and would also miss having someone to give her orders to all day long. I suspect she was hoping it was a temporary thing, but you are right she would hide it if she thought it meant any change to their lives. I might have said before, but she was a bit shocked when she heard he'd told us last weekend that she wasn't any company in the evenings when she fell asleep and that he needed people to talk to, male or female! We were surprised to hear him say it ourselves, but of course we know why now.

I shan't believe the hospital figures they give about missed appointments anymore!! OH tried for 3 days to cancel one MIL had this morning. It kept saying to leave a message and then that there was no room to leave a message so what do they expect people to do! :-S

William my dad spent 7 years, mostly in India in the army too and you have reminded me how he would trot out the odd indian word. I'd forgotten that. I know a lot of Romany words are Indian.

Getting a cuppa now and then to see if the oil spray has worked on the outside tap. We couldn't shift it this morning. Washing to get in too. OH is at the hospital and I'm realising how many odd jobs he does now I'm doing them. :-)

Afternoon all,

Phew it's warm today ,it's now clouding up and the wind seems to have dropped a little ,i wonder what we will get tonight ,looks like we could be in for a stormy night .

Ann, of course you did the right thing ,although it's very hard seeing some one fly into a rage ,my dad did that when we had to leave him in for respite care ,he was going to get himself a taxi out of there and he could manage on his own which of course he couldn't ,my sister and i both came away in tears ,but slowly he settled he didn't mix with the others but he did calm down .
It might be that they decide he isn't safe to come home and that MIL couldn't manage him if she needs help as well .
But at least you know they are both being looked after where they are which must give you a little peace of mind and it lets you sleep at night knowing your not going to get a phone call.
Love to you both as i know what your going through <3 <3

Gill's been busy making cakes i see ,they don't last long in this house either when i make them , son asked yesterday if i would make them a Coffee and Walnut cake so i'll do that tomorrow ,to hot to have the oven on today ,it will be a salad tonight for us i think.

You are having some bad nights Frank, have you a doze in the chair this afternoon ,you'll soon be in the sun and relaxing ,the holiday will do you both good .

How's that knee today Mel ? have you got some Deep H*at or some thing like that to rub on ?

Gosh Ruby that's hot !! bet the air con has been working over time .
Did you enjoy the free pie ? :-D didn't you use to go some where and have a free pudding ?
Mum use to make Caraway Seed cake ,i was never that keen the seeds use to get between my teeth !!

I must get a drink , these hay fever tablets seem to really dry my mouth up .

First spots of rain have just arrived, the sky is getting darker, so it looks like we are going to get the rain as promised. It is so muggy outside. We have had doors and windows open, but must keep an eye on the weather.

I have just scrapped the potato's and podded the peas and broad beans. Ros did the carrots and cabbage. She bought a pulled pork yesterday, so we will have that.

It's very warm out in SC Ruby. Don't you get burnt sun bathing, to impress those "TOYBOYS" :-D :-D :-D :-D Don't start getting Hannah into your bad habits, eating Mexican food. I have never tried it, is it as hot as I imagine ??? I wouldn't know which end of a speedo to put over my head. !!!!

Yes Gill I take my sleeper every night, but if my brain doesn't shut down within half an hour, it can take AGES to get off. The doctor says it's related to my stroke which I had ELEVEN years ago. It has affected my brain as well as my body. I just have to live with it. :-( :-(

Going to get forty winks now, if I can.

Good morning from sunny SC. It reached 90' yesterday and will be a bit warmer still today.

Gill you have lots of friends on here. I'm not here very often but usually look in every day to see what you are all doing. I'm sure we are all here for you whenever you need to chat. I do understand how it is for folks who take care of loved ones, because I've done it too. Not for as long as you and William though. It's a part of life that we didn't bargain for, but when it comes we get through it day by day, and having someone to chat with does help. Isn't there any help available for you to have a day to yourself occasionally?

William's pictures were splendid, and what a beauty of Carmel. It deserves to be enlarged and framed. You looked pretty good too William. I have a hat similar to yours that I wear in the garden to keep the sun off.

Hope everyones knees and hips are oiled this morning. When I first began to hurt from the arthritis, OH bought me cream to rub on, and the capsicum in it set me on fire. My hands felt scalded for days.

I love home-made cake too. It seems that the bakery cakes here are much too sweet for me. We never see any kind of fruitcake except at Christmas. Mum always had a plain fruitcake in the tin and I loved it, also seedy cake.

If I was there Frank I'd keep your broadies eaten up. We can't grow them here, but I do love them. I bet you suit a speedo ;-)

Good that Hannah is okay Jane. When she gets to San Antonio, I hope she has time to see The Alamo and the River Walk. Authentic Mexican food there - if she likes it. I adore it.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and can get out in the gardens.

Morning all

Lovely sunny day here today. Glad to hear the rain was only in the night Mel and that you have good weather too. What a shame you can't send pics, lets hope your OH can sort it for you.

Good to hear from you again William. I remember my granddad with his cockney slang. He was a true Cockney born within the sound of Bow Bells and when we watch Eastenders one of the character uses Cockney slang which really confuses Sandra so I have to tell her what he's saying.......Like Boat Race for Face and things like that. I think it's something that sticks with you for life. I like hearing it as it reminds me of my granddad.

I didn't realise it's carers week this week, you are right though not a lot is done for the adult carers, there is nothing around here and a lot of us are stuck indoors a lot which can get very lonely sometimes. Because I've looked after Sandra her whole life (30 years) I don't have any friends, but you get used to it......you have to don't you?

How are your in-laws and OH today Ann and of course you, it must be just as stressful for you too. I hope something can be sorted out properly which suits everyone when MIL comes out of hospital. It does sound like she's been keeping things from you to maybe protect you from the full truth and maybe she is worried that FIL would have to go into a home and she'd be left alone, she obviously loves him very much and would miss him if he had to go away, even if it is for his own good and hers. I hope things turn out ok for everyone <3.

I've got that tune stuck in my head now Frank :-D :-D :-D. Hope you manage to catch up on your sleep after having a bad night last night. I thought you had sleepers, don't they help? You seems to have a lot of bad nights maybe you should see the doctor about your meds and get some stronger sleepers if the ones you have aren't working...... You need your sleep <3 <3.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do today, I've still got a bit of gardening to do and also some more sorting out of all the stuff we don't use anymore in this place....Now I just have to think about which one to sort out first....decisions decisions :-S :-S :-D ;-) <3

Morning all and evening Kim,

So nice to see William posting again and I have done as you asked William and emailed you.

Quite a bright morning here but we had a lot of rain last night. This morning everything looks nice and refreshed and green.

Hope it still goes well with the inlaws Ann and how is G feeling now? Still in limbo I expect as to what will happen once MIL is out of hospital. Will they both be able to go in this new home? It sounds like it is a nice place from what you have told us.

Morning Will and All, Evening Kim.

I didn't go with Ros to pick Jan up last night as I felt a bit rough. I was in bed by 11.00 just as she was leaving. I was still awake when she came to bed at 2.00 am and I stayed awake until 5.00 am. If Jan hadn't been sleeping in the lounge I would have got up and stayed up. I did drop of for an hour or so, and when I heard Jan about I got up 7.30. I had a song going through my mind ALL NIGHT. "KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH HIS LOVE" and it's still going through my mind NOW !!!!

The breeze is blowing the leaves on the cherry tree, and you can see all the cherries that are developing. The birds with have a "HAY DAY" when they ripen up. :-D :-D

How's that knee this morning Mel. I am sure that elbow thing won't fit your knee lol lol.


I agree with you Gill about the cakes. But I rarely eat cake or biscuits, so it doesn't bother me what's in the cake tin.

Ann, I have been thinking of you both, and am pleased that at least the in-laws are settled for the time being. It must be a very stressful time for you both. Lets hope the social get them settled now.

How's Thomas doing with his bell, has he caught any more birds. ??

Jan is ready to set off to Kerry's at Weldon (CORBY). She will stay until Sunday, then take her and the baby back to Devon for a few days. Mark will go down and collect her after Jan has gone of to Spain again. It will give Jo and Ella a chance to see the baby.

See you later if I am awake !!!

Good morning all, and what a beautiful morning it is too. Hope you are all well and not to shocked by my sudden continued appearances on here :-)
After telling you all about our experiences yesterday, please don't forget that this is Carers Week. I'm glad to hear that Radio 2 has been giving it a lot of coverage especially Jeremy Vine. I'm going to soap box now if you will all put up with me. I help run our local Carers Support Group and enjoy doing it and being part of the friendship that ensues from it. Locally, there was a Carers Day event in nearby Nuneaton (Dugdale Street, Ann probably knows it) and I couldn't put in an appearance because I was taking Carmel to see the nurse at our surgery - how ironic is that?
But there are thousands of Carers in this country and I don't think this government gives a jot about them. On the other hand, children and child care get all the priority. People 'choose' to have children, we don't choose to have illnesses and disabilities that won't go away. I'd better get off my soap box before I get carried away.

I don't know about Frank but I often still finds myself coming out with Cockney rhyming slang without even thinking about it. Luckily Carmel has grown used to it and seems to know what I'm saying. My dear old Dad spent many years in India during his seven years in the army and would often come out with Indian terms and I find I still do this at times. It came out in conversation at the weekend about a certain product and I chimed in that part of the word came from India. So nothing wasted there. I've always loved local expressions or words, something I picked up when I was in the RAF meeting chaps from all over the country. It has continued on in life when I meet folks from different parts and of course along the way I've picked up many Irish expressions, even a smattering of Irish too. I think it all makes life the richer. Gone are the days of 'BBC English'

Having said all that, I think I'll go and have some cheese on toast now - or Welsh Rarebit as it's known. Bye for now

Just popping in to say night night.

No I did'nt get a pic Gill as I can't download them at the moment and get them somewhere to be sent out. The only ones I can take is on my trail camera and get them on the desktop. Thing is you never know what you have taken till you look to see what it took and then there is the videos too which are to big to send at the moment. I shall have to get oh to change them from 20 seconds to something smaller and then see if I can send them.

Ann it does seem that MIL was keeping things from G as to just how bad FIL is now. They like to stay so independant like they were when they were younger and yes they do keep things from you. I know because I have been there. I think they just don't want to worry you and still feel they should be looking out for you. You always think of your children as children however old they are.

Sandra's strawberries are coming along great Jane. I have them in pots in the greenhouse otherwise the birds would probably get to them before Sandra. She's been eating them everyday for about two weeks now and loves them. I bought just three plants a few years ago and used the suckers to make another twenty so she has plenty to keep her going all through the summer.

OH loved the cakes I made they were just plain Victoria sponges but without the jam as he doesn't like jam, just a bit of buttercream. He's been very good and only had one slice so far....Sandra and I have had two pieces each so it's a good job I made two cakes as the first one is almost gone. I'm not keen on shop bought cakes Frank, they just don't seem to taste the same to me as home baked one's. I did try a lemon drizzle cake from Ald* once which tasted home made and was lovely but they stopped making it after a while which was a pity.
The recipe I tried earlier with the sausages was lovely, so I'll be making that again.

What a palaver at the hospital car park William and then to end up going in later than the appointment time, it makes you wonder why they bother with appointments when no one seems to get in on time anyway. At least Carmel has her treatment sorted now, so that's good.

Glad to hear your OH had a good nights sleep Ann. 30 hours is a long time to be awake, he wouldn't of been able to keep that up for very long. Hope everything goes ok with your MIL and FIL.

How lovely Mel, seeing Little Lady 2 with her little ones, did you manage to get a picture, I'd love to see it if you did. Hope your knee is feeling a bit better now.

OH wants another piece of cake so I'd better go and get him one. Hope the weather isn't to bad for everyone tonight and tomorrow, it didn't look good when I saw it on the TV earlier.

Signing off now, back again tomorrow
NIght NIght

Yes, we feel a bit calmer ourselves today Frank and are more sure that, even though it was heartbreaking to have to do it, it was the right thing to do. Gill, he is very outgoing and the carers said after OH left he had gone round introducing himself to the ladies. He might be doing that every day though. I think carers will be going in to MIL 4 times a day, but OH will talk to them tomorrow about what support is given. She's feeling a lot better today and OH told her about the awful rage FIL went into when he went to drop his walker off for him later yesterday and he spotted him. She said 'he wouldn't be like that with me'. OH said 'did you think he'd be like that with me' and she said 'no'. Apparently, he's been restless the last 2 weeks and kept saying over and over about going out and having people to talk to like he was when OH stayed with him. She said she'd been unable to stop him going out for a walk once, but luckily he only went a little way down the road, so I think you are right Mandy about her hiding how bad he's become recently. OH said he got the impression she wants to be with him, but surprisingly said herself that the advice of professionals is needed. At least she knows a bit about dementia as she remembers FIL's own mother suffering from it.

Mel I think the rest will help your knee. I know mine recover more quickly with rest if I overdo it. More little Pheasant chicks being brought for you to see.....you are lucky to get treats like that. :-)

I hope the Botox helps Carmel William, she has a lot to put up with doesn't she (I don't mean you! ;-)). It's getting ridiculous in carparks these days. We parked in one in Hinckley yesterday that caters for 2 GP surgeries with a chemist between. People were queuing for spaces to become vacant. How can you be on time for your doctor's appointment?

Evening all,

Just finished watering the garden and greenhouse.

Ros did a cold chicken salad tonight. What a nice change from a hot roast.

We are off on Wednesday 17th Jane. 5.40 pm flight. We have booked the long stay car park. Lets hope we don't have battery trouble like we did TWICE last year :-( :-( :-(

My carrots haven't come to anything either Jane, as for everything else I can't see for poppies and potato's from being chopped up when I rotorvated in the spring. With all the cover it has, it won't dry out so much.
Yes it's a pity about the strawberry's but not much I can do. As I said, better they get eaten than wasted. You are like me for broad Beans, I only do them for Ros as she loves them.

Ann, At least G has a break between now and the weekend when his Mum comes home. What package have they put in place for her ?? How long will FIL be away for also.

I can't remember the last time a cake was baked in this house. There is such a variety in the Supermarkets, that it seems a waste of time baking.

I am still in shorts after another shower and shave, I will have to get dressed later to go to collect Jan. She will stay the night before going back to Kerry's in the morning. Then she has to go back to Devon before flying back to Spain next Tuesday. She won't know if she's coming or going. !!! They have had rain over there today. so it looks like we are getting it tomorrow.

Have a good evening folks, see you tomorrow.

Tis me again, just thought I'd update you with today's hospital visit. Carmel's appointment at Coventry University hospital was for 4.40pm and when we got there all the parking had changed, chaos, and an attendant sent us in the wrong direction for the disabled parking area. Anyway, we found it eventually and got to the clinic with 5 minutes to spare. Why do we bother, we actually got in to see the consultant at 5.50pm.
This is the headaches specialist who Carmel has been under for some years now. Anyway, because her condition is unchanged, he has suggested she tries Botox injections in her head, which he has had success with, so we have agreed. Carmel used to have Botox in her jaw bones years ago at the National Neurological hospital in London to control her spasms caused by oro-mandibular dystonia. Botox A was good for a year then she built up antibodies and it stopped working. The Botox B was licensed and they tried her on that, but the side effects were severe dry mouth so after two sessions (they last about 8 weeks) they abandoned that. Luckily her O M D has been has been in remission for some years now so at least one problem less.

I took advantage of the sunny weather to do a few jobs out front this morning and forgot to put on my 'gardening hat'. Of course it was a warm wind today and next thing Carmel tells me my forehead is all red, you can't win! It is nearly always windy at the front of our house, we don't call it the Mistral but the Manse Close wind. Actually we are on top of a hill but you don't realise until you walk to the little childrens park around the corner, then you can see down over Arbury Woods. It's alright until I open our back gate, then it's whoosh and in it comes.

Well, folks, we are now fed and watered, Carmel is having a nap, and hopefully there will be something worth watching on the TV at 9pm. So I'll go and get on with something else.
At Least now Frank is not on his own in the 'nagging zone' LOL

Bye bye for now.

CAn you pass one of those cakes down here please Gill? we could do with one.

I have cut a few brimbles down today andthats about it. I did the washing up this morning and have sat playing cards on the pc for the rest of the time giving my knee a rest!! ;-) ;-) ;-)

I thought about one of those elasticated things for my knee but it is so hot here today I don't think I could stand it on. I may have one in the bathroom cupboard or it may be an arm one. The wind here was so warm today a great change from what it been during the rest of the week.

Jane you sure the bunnies arn't eating the carrot seedlings or perhaps the ground has'nt been warm enough. Is it new seed Chris has as carrots don't do well on seed brought the previous year.

Don't they look inside your bottom eyelids to see if you are anaemic I know they did with mum and she wold pull her bottom lid down and get me to do it too whilst we both stood in front of the mirror.

I have trouble when I have a blood test too. Nurse said I have deep veins whatever that is. This new nurse (the new docs wife Maria) seems to be able to find my viens ok though. She dos'nt go for the middle of the crease in the inside of my elbow but just to the side of that. The other nurse used to try both arms and end up on my hand but sometimes ruptured the vein. This new nurse said it was dangerous to take it from your hand.

Hope FIL has settled a bit in his respite care place. Have you heard anything about when MIL will be aloud out of hospital yet? Have been thinking about you all day and how everyone is coping with the changes.

We have just had a visit from one of our pheasents who we call Little Lady 2 and she turned up with two little in tow and I fed her with corn and mealworms and she strolled up the orchard but then it has just started raining great big spots so I came in and finished writing this.

Not sure if we have thunder on the way this week as I hav'nt seen the forecast.

Afternoon All,

What a traumatic day yesterday was and very upsetting for OH. Still the important thing is that FIL is in a safe place now for the time being at least which is good. The home is a new one, nice and light and airy and the staff seem very nice and friendly. MIL is having several blood transfusions as she's anaemic and a heart scan and will be coming out at the weekend. They have said they will have a care package in place for her. Thanks for the info Gill and Jane. I've made a note of a few things, all helpful and useful. OH didn't sleep for over 30 hours Gill so he slept like a log last night. Your fuschia cuttings have done really well and I love the way they flower all summer long and there are so many varieties too. What kind of cake did you bake today?

Hannah seems to be really enjoying herself so it will be a memorable trip for her with lots more to enjoy yet with the bonus of meeting up with her friend.

Nice to hear from William and that he and Carmel had a nice ride out and to see his nice pics. Carmel always looks good in photos doesn't she and I liked her outfit.

Frank we have had a few nasty looking crawlies flying in through the windows this last week........some were like honey bees only bigger with a big sting!! OH thought there was a nest with bee type insects under the slabs at the back of the shed. I must go and see if they are the ones I have seen.