Genealogy Chat

The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football. 'Hello Mum, guess what?' he says, 'I played for 20 minutes today. We were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everyone loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.' 'Wonderful,' says his Mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, all whilst you were having a great time.' The young lad is very upset, 'What can I say Mum, but I'm SO sorry.' 'Sorry!' says his mum, 'It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!' fUNNY HEY? TED. XXX

lol ted. I was starting to get all a bit disapproving until I read the last sentence.

Thats made my day, Derek in France

nice one Ted!! lol

Just what I needed to brighten up my Day - thanks Ted.

Thanks Ted,but can you tell me,Why do they sterilise the needle for a lethal injection? Glen

Nice one Ted. And Glen...I have no idea. Kath. x

hi all, glad you liked the joke, and nice to know you take the trouble to read it, a young lad of 14, when he thinks nobody is watching, sneeks into a pub, asking the barmaid for 'a pint and 20 fags.' She looks at him, smiles and said 'DO YOU WANT TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE' his reply YEA OF COURSE I DO, BUT LET ME FINISH MY PINT AND THE FAGS FIRST. oooohhhhhhhhhh dear where did I get this one from? TED. His dad on the other hand makes his way to work and gets stopped by security 'What have you got in the bag?' 'my sandwiches' The security guard opens the bag, brings out the small parcel holds it to his ear and says 'i think it tickin' 'damm that wife of mine, she said it was turkey' OHHHHHHHHHH dear again.

Thanks Ted, Just what I needed after a rotten day at work.... A really good laugh!!! cheered me up no end - big smile on face now!! Sue

Cheers Ted, I enjoyed them.