General Chat

I have enjoyed reading all the posts
Thanks Teresa
jenxx

See iv'e brought back loads of your memories haven't I, lol! and to say i was afraid to post in case it offended anyone xxx

I have a photo of me dressed up as a chicken reciting

"Oh I am a battery 'en,
on me back, there's not a germ,
I've never scratched a farmyard,
and I've never pecked a worm.
I never had the sunshine
to warm me feathers through,
Eggs I lay, every day,
for the likes of you." etc.etc.

I have most of her books and even an autographed one which a friend obtained for me.

I've also been several other characters from her poems - I used to entertain the ladies group I belonged to with them. Happy days.
ps. I am not posting the picture!!!

I've just found the first Christmas present for my Mum...a Pam Ayres book! Thanks again all.

Little Em

Very funny lady,

Loved reading them...Its her expressions on TV that made me laugh ...!

Hi,

Pam is the guest on Countdown on C4 at 3.25pm this week, and she usually reads one of her poems.

I had this one read out (at my request) by the best man at my recent wedding reception

YES I'LL MARRY YOU


Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

Pleased to hear that Mau, thanks.

Yes she still tours Teresa,has lots of fans xx

Hilarious Mau, xxx

Wonder what happened to Pam Ayres ? is she still alive does anyone know?

I too love Pam Ayres,I've put this on here before,it always makes me smile

The Wonderbra
by Pam Ayres

I bought myself a Wonderbra
For fourteen ninety nine,
It looked so good on the model girl's chest,
And I hoped it would on mine,
I took it from the packaging
And when I tried it on,
The Wonderbra restored to me
All I believed had gone

Chorus:
Let's all salute the Wonderbra,
The Wonderbra, the Wonderbra,
Let's all salute the Wonderbra,
For fourteen ninety-nine.

It gave me such a figure,
I can't believe it's mine,
I showed it to my husband
And it made his eyeballs shine,
And when I served the breakfast,
The kids cried out, 'Hooray!
Here comes our darling mother,
with her bosom on a tray!'

I didn't really need one,
my present bra, it's true,
Had only been in constant use
Since nineteen eighty-two,
But the silhouette I dreamed about,
Is mine, is mine at last,
And builders on the scaffolding,
Drop off as I walk past

Chorus:
Singing .. let's all salute the Wonderbra,
The Wonderbra, the Wonderbra,
Let's all salute the Wonderbra
For fourteen ninety-nine!

god i must become a published poet

i could make a fortune on gr from the infringments of copyrite, which is unlawfull.

my pockets would be so heavey i could not walk
my mouth would be full I could not talk
I hope the money that comath to me
would be in brown envalopes to become tax free

ninjabinman©

:@)

Thanks very much Ginnie, certainly cheered me up today. Sorry you have to go and do some work. Take care
Teresa.

Love it, glad you are posting them.. keep them coming. xxxxx

Cracking little thread this one, it's made my day thank you.

xx

now that put a smile on me face , love it

love them.. can hear her now .........

wonderful memories of this thanks so much Havoc. I can just see her perched on a stool with an audience laughing their heads off. Brill.

You've made my morning- brilliant poems :-) Teresa, or anyone, if you find any more please post them!

Yes thats the one, must google it, thanks Havoc.