General Chat

I've got to hand it to you, but

for a crazy bunch - we're all bananas

lol

You are a crazy bunch!!

I like it!

Regards

Allan

Up periscope - bugger me, there's a foot to the westward and another one eastward.

memo to self - more shoes needed

Sue x

No Allan...........that's a Fattoetum?....................lol

i say again ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, pmsl

Is a factotum a situation where you cant see your own feet because of the size of your tum??


Allan

Well,, i'm going to lower the tone,,,,,,,,,,

pmsl!

hehehhe
xxx

Ohhhh.........Sue..............lol

I have often thought about getting a Tee- shirt with " factotum " emblazoned across the front...........lol........such an excellent word .

It's just the way I tell'm, Allan!

Sue!!!

Words fail me....which is obviously not a problem that you experience

Regards

Allan

A loved-up couple were in this fish restaurant - one of those where the food is swimmng in a tank before you

"you choose one, darling"

"I think we'll have octopus, my love"

"just what I had in mind, sugar plum"

- remove your fingers from your throats, dear listeners -

So, "Sugar Plum" pointed to the dish of the day

It sat at the bottom of the tank, such a shy little thing, it's little lip, hairy, green and quivering, and it thrashed around uncontrollably......

The chef sent out his factotum, a German, to catch the poor little blighter, but he was incapable of the deed, so....... it was left to the chef.

The chef - a Frenchman named Gervaise - took one look at the "catch" and his francophile heart melted - he sent his German factotum back to do the washing up, while he performed the evil deed.

As his cleaver fell onto the trembling thing, he could't go through with it.

Which just goes to show that.............

Hans - that does dishes - is as soft as Gervaise, over wild green hairy-lipped squid.

Sue x

I liked that one Rose
Claire x

Ahh...if I can bring a smile to someones face my life is complete

lol, Amanda

Regards

Allan

Allan , I'm grinning and groaning at the same time...............lol

A squid is swimming slowly and erratically in the mediterranean..a cod pulls up next to him and enquires if he is OK

"No" says the Squid "I feel quite ill. I'm just on my way to the Dr's"

"Jump on my back" says the cod "I'll give you a lift"

However, rather than taking the squid to the Dr's, the cod takes him to a large shark.

Shrugging the squid of his back the cod says to the shark......


"Here's the sick squid I owe you"!!


Allan

lmaoooooooooooooo x

I thought that was really funny,,,,,,,,, but then again i am blond!
hahahhahahahah!
xxxx

I've read it before.............it's a corker...........LOL

*groans* lol x

sorry, I have to put it here lol , i am in that kind of mood...night all xx


TWO PRAWNS

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea

One called Justin and the other called Kristian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;

I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.


Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.

All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold,

he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).


Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.

'Where's Kristian?' he asked.

'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Kristian's abode.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy,

and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'.........




.

.

.

'I've found Cod. I'm a

Prawn again Kristian'