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The beginnings of a story, methinks?
Sue x
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Ever eager to please, she returned to the site of the alluvial deposits, and fashioned a coat hanger-like contraption with the aid of her trusty kiln (every home should have one)
Returning back to the exquisite blue and white bungalow, she presented
the gentleman in question with the coat-hanger like thing
"Don't tell me you can receive Sky Sports on that!" he said
"Don't be stupid," she replied "This is for you to hang your clothes on"
I can get Sky Sports on one of the fruits of this island
And produced ........
A blackberry
Sue x
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A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend,decided to take a
holiday.He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life, that is; until the ship sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only
bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day
when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks,
'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
She replied,
'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship
sank.'
'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
you.'
'Oh,this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw Material I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the
bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus
tree.'
'But, where did you get the tools?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the
Island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired
it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.. I used
that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'
The guy is stunned.
' Let's row over to my place,' she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man
looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading
to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man
can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says
casually,
'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?'
'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of
coconut juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a
Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on
her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces,
'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a
shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.'
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells
honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
mechanism.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down
next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out
here for many months.You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really
feel like doing right now,something you've been longing for?'
She stares into his eyes...
He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes...
'F ***ing hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'
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