General Chat

Oh well, here we go again. After the second lot of tests because of high blood sugar, Miseryguts has now been diagnosed with diabetes!!!! Has been prescribed tablets and given an apptmt to see a dietician - bet he won't let me go and listen!

I guessed what the outcome would be altho he thought because the doc said the apptmt wasn't urgent, all was ok, but knowing how it was for my late Mum when she first had diabetes, tablets and diet adjustment, I warned o.h. it could be the same.

I have been trying to tell him for years that he needs carbohydrate at every meal, in a bigger proportion than protein etc and he needs to eat breakfast of carbohydrate, but he would never listen and often went without meals, if he was busy with something like decorating or painting the fence or whatever, if I wasn't around to make him eat something he would go without. He told me when he first met me that he didn't eat or like chocolate but I soon noticed that wasn't true, and of course there has been his secret cider drinking for years from when he was first married even. He always has to have one last half when we are out too and what with his high cholesterol, high blood pressure and the bleed on the brain two years ago, I seem to have picked up a right old crock. Some toy boy!!!!

I have enough health problems of my own and don't need all this hassle. Can you keep your fingers crossed he will stick to the rules on this one, so things don't progress to 'full-blown' diabetes - he hates needles and I don't fancy having to do his injections for him, it would restrict my life even more than he already does.
Sorry to be so negative, but he has brought this on himself by being so pigheaded and greedy and not looking after himself well in the past and more recently. At least he is cycling to work again now so might lose a bit more weight which will help too.

Lizx

Liz, you can only advice you can't take on his responsibilities for him.
He may be frightened into looking after
himself, but all you can do watch him.
Never mind love, just another worry for you.... you didn't have enough did you? ;-0)
Deanna X

Sorry to hear the news. If the diabetic clinics are anything like the ones in our area, they positively beg the significant other to go along to the various chats/dietician appointments etc.
Let’s hope that he will come to appreciate the potential harm he can do to himself if he doesn’t follow the ‘rules’.

Deanna, who thought I needed more hassles lol? Have enough of my own!

At the mo I have to try to remember to remind him (got that?) to take his medication at night when he gets home from work, he has to take a soluble aspirin cos of the bleed on the brain, Ramipril, Simvastatin and now the new tablets, Metformin. Often he will say next day, that he forgot to take one or the other, he has one of those dispensers to put each days' pill in but forgets to check he has taken them.

We do have a good diabetic clinic here in Norwich but his apptmt is with his surgery for now. The doctor he saw is the surgery's diabetic 'specialist' but he asked about free prescriptions and the doc told him to ask at the chemist, when he did they said he needed a form from the docs so he had to go back and get it. When this happened the pharmacist asked Dr K? and when o.h. affirmed this, pharmacist said Yes, thought so, so it is obvious they know he is not on the ball with things.
I will ask about going along to the appointment tho.

O.h. has an uncle with diabetes so it's in the family as it is in mine, and he also has colleagues with diabetes too - that's how he knew about the free prescriptions.

Oh life will be so interesting - not! Shopping will just take longer I suppose!

Lizx

Never mind Liz.
He will soon remember to take the pills when he collapses because he has not taken them.

So, he has heart trouble, blood pressure, and a bleed problem, and you have to tell him to take his pills??
What are you.... he mother??

It appears to me that you do too much for him.
Watch it now, the thread will be full of people telling me how hard hearted I am... ;-0)
in actual fact I am very soft hearted, I just think some men put upon their women far too much.x
Deanna X

You have got it there Deanna, he lost his Mum when he was 18 and I think subconsciously has been seeking a mother substitute ever since, all his exs and I are older than he is by a few years, and yes I suppose I do have to think for him a lot as he is very forgetful. Even when I first met him when he was 42, I thought he had a memory problem. Why oh why didn't I run then?
I won't be killing myself for him I can tell you, and will still do things that I want to do, regardless of his problems, they are of his own making and not my fault or responsibility. Considering how little regard he pays to my fibromyalgia etc I owe him nothing.

Lizx

Hello Liz

I don't think we've spoken before but you have my sympathy. My OH suffers high blood pressure and stomach problems, not helped at all by his drinking habits and is getting more and more forgetful by the day along with an ever worsening temper. Like your OH he can't see that a lot of this has been brought on himself so doesn't see any need to change his lifestyle so I just let him get on with it now.

You just make sure you take care of yourself, you have a life too, and Deanna, I don't think you're being hard hearted at all

Take care both of you

Barb xx

Barb, have pmd you.
I hope you are able to have a life without your o.h. causing too many problems for you, these men are their own worse enemies!

take care
Lizxx

Deanna, you are a softie, we know you aren't hard hearted without due cause! x

A good clinic will want you to be in on the treatment, it is vital that you know the pitfalls, But , they will expect him to be responsible for his own treatment as you may not always be there. You can only provide the correct diet, if he ignores that on his own head be it.
Side effects of badly controlled diabetes;- blindness amputations. gangrene. coma. heart disease and kidney failure. All or just some of these in store if diabetes is neglected.
Not trying to be pessimistic, but with a history on both sides of our family, ending in OH me and Son having to inject twice daily, coping for the last 44yrs, I am a bit of a stickler for knowing all I can.

Thanks Jean, I know a bit about diabetes cos my late Mum had it but we will have a chat tonight when he gets home from work at 10.30pm

He does a lot of food shopping as he sorts out his pack up for work so goes to the supermarket over the road most days and gets what he fancies, and gets things he fancies for dinner later if he is on the early shift and I work round what he gets for the main meal when he is here. He will just have to be more disciplined.

He does still have some holiday left to take so I might suggest he has a few days off after the appointment to sort of take stock etc


Lizx