General Chat

I only ask as I have contacted a member who says that he will allow access to his tree to no-one. I thought the whole point of this site was to help one another with our research. This seems a very selfish attitude and I can see no point in allowing this person to be one here just to pick up information but share none

Some people do their tree for their own satisfaction and for immediate family, not to help others...which in any other field would be consideed fair I guess. Also they may not feel they wish to spend money , on certificates for example or other search sites , only to have someone else reap the rewards?

I used GR for years without putting a tree on, therefore no one would have seen that I had info unless they searched the boards for surnames where I had posted. I have a rudimentary tree on now as it was the easiest way for potential relatives on here to see where we all might 'fit' with ancestors.

Maybe if you offer what you know first, they will be more enclined to give you info....they may still not wish to share their tree though, don't forget it will have other people on, not connected to you in any way, there are perhaps privacy issues here.

Theres no rule to say you have to share info on your tree with anyone, Its not a condition to have to share info or your tree when you join GR so he has every right to remain on GR..

If he doesnt want to share than its his choice

Its also your choice if you want to share your info with anyone, including him.

Just because someone won't open their tree doesn't mean they won't share information. People have, sometimes, found that when they open their tree to someone that person has taken all the names/information they have even if there is no connection eg they have taken info from the maternal side when the only connection is on the paternal side. This makes people wary but doesn't mean they won't share information just that they don't open their tree. Many are willing to send information on the relevant part of the tree once a connection has been established.

I can't say this is the case with the person you are talking about but it may well be.

Did you have any information to share with him Leonard?.I've found that the majority are happy to open up their tree if they feel there's something in it for them coming the other way too.

The way I see it is that if he doesn't want to share his info then he's missing out on yours so ultimately it could well be his loss.

I don't actually hold my tree on GR anymore and I search for my own hotmatches...........if I establish a connection then I send gedcoms of the relevant branches of my tree....

xx

I admit to only opening my tree if a connection is certain
EG names, dates and marriages are the same

If it is a request from someone who says
" I have John smith in my tree and have a match with you"
then I don't open unless they can provide more information

x

well i for one will not just share my tree to anyone that asks, but i will share information, but not the whole tree, where a firm connection is established with someone in my tree.

I have spent a fortune on certs and done a lot of legwork, spent hours at Archives etc so i am not prepared to give access just because someone asks so that they can just add the info i have collated without having to work for it.
Plus how do they know the info i have is correct.
I only have a small number of people in my tree on Gr
George

a lot of the trees are not genuine anyway so its perhaps best to do it yourself.
i allegedly married a ten year old and my husbands mother was eleven when she married.
this is according to my husbands cousin and who am i to argue.



meercat the cradle snatcher.

LOL @ Meercat

I don't open mine if that makes me selfish in your eyes then so be it

There's also the point that the so called 'hot matches' are so random as to make opening ones tree to anyone who thought they 'could' be related a farce.

eg Mary K ( mine) born very specifically in Cahirciveen Co Kerry matched with MK born very specifically in Egham Surrey....

If I contact someone I am quite specific as to what the link might be, and I won't open my tree unless someone is willing to do similar.

shame you wer,nt related to me .you could have had all my info and pics ,and certs the lot.xx

Hi all

I have now read the answers for which thanks to all. Firstly may I say that I am delighted to open my tree to anyone, it does not matter to me if they pick up information for which I have paid or spent hours researching, after all that is no imposition on me. There is an old saying "thathe who plants a tree cannot be selfish" as of course it is future generations who will benefit most from seeing it grow. Well I think it is the same with family trees, the whole reason I have spent many hundreds of hours researching ours(I do not considerit it "mine") is so that future family links will be saved a lot of legwork and it will enable them to spend more time on the difficult bits.

I am quite an old man and do not anticipate that I will be around long enough to finish what I have started, but I do hope someone will take up the baton and develop it further. So to the over cautious of you I say, what does it matter if you have spent £10 getting your great aunt's death certificate if them someone else uses the information? After all if everyone takes the right attitude think what that would save us all.

Good luck to you all with your research and thanks for your interest

Len

Whats the point of Genes?

They keep your legs warm lol

Dear Leonard

If you are paying £10 for ANY Birth Marriage or Death certificate then you are being overcharged!

You never need pay more than £7 from the GRO online.

I do think, though, it is a matter of choice whether or not you share your whole tree. I find that sharing bits and pieces of information suffices as most people who contact me would not find all of it relevent and too far distantly related to be of interest.

Birdi

I open my tree to genuine connections I have over 70 on here. Thereby lies my dilema, yesterday I sent a message to a hot match, this person had 3 of my ancesters from the 1780. Then there was a match back in 1290 which was not from same side of family, I asked the connection and his words they are very distantly connected to me. Best bit he has 46,500 relatives, some repeated several times. Would you open you tree!!!
Carol

Carol - I was asked about my husband's family recently. I asked how he was related; his reply was that he didn't know!!! - But he said they 'were on his tree somewhere'. He sent me a page of information that was my own work from some years back. I knew it was mine as I recognised my early mistakes. He never did explain any connection and I can't see why he wants to know about my husband's family if he doesn't know where they fit in.


Birdi

Thanks for that Birdi, decided I will not open tree, thinking of the right reply without being rude.
Carol

Yes, it's tricky, isn't it, if you are a naturally polite person!

If I am asked to open my tree straight away, I avoid the question and ask a few pertinent questions instead.

A serious researcher would be only to glad to enter into an exchange of information without this nonsense of giving away your whole tree.

This problem only seems to arise on Genes (encouraged by GR, methinks). If someone writes to me after seeing my email on a Surname page they wouldn't open the conversation by saying 'Can I have all your research notes?'


Birdi