General Chat

If I met my 16 year old self she would probably ask " are "we" happy ? " to which I would brightly smile and say " yes " we " are " .

Whilst brightly smiling she would probably notice that I still have all my own teeth ( that would please her.......lol ) .

Surprising that mothers seem to have taken pleasure in denigrating their daughters. Was it jealousy do you think?

I would have said to my 16 self, dont get married to the first man that shows some interest in you just because you have a few problems does not mean that there is not someone really nice out there for you.

Go out and and have some fun theres plenty of time to settle down and and have a family.

I would have told myself to take myself off to some place where I would never have to listen to my mother telling me what a complete waste of space I was and how I would never amount to anything, I would learn to be strong and believe in myself and do all the things I have encouraged all my children to do by helping them to achieve all their dreams.

Now my mother is in her 80's she has mental health problems that appear to go back over 50 years so she was not wholly responsible for all the physical and mental abuse she gave me, but she did and i cant love her just feel sadness of all the things we could have done and all the things that could have been .

BUT i have 5 wonderful children and a very good hubby a small business that allows me to spoil myself , my children and grandchildren and if I had taken myself off I would never have had those things, so all was not bad

Pam xx

Not that long ago for me (only 9 years) but . . .

I would have gone up to myself after that assembly in November of Year 11 and told myself to ignore our head of year's rant to us in assembly that we were all going to fail our exams at the rate we we were going because, come August, I would have passed them all (lowest grades I ever got were Bs)

I would have given myself a good shake every time I cast lingering glances at "Him" during Art because he was never going to ask me out and I was about to waste three years having an unrequited crush!

I'd have also told myself to get that stupid idea out of my head that I didn't want to learn to drive once I was 17 because it might have made me stop feeling inadequate on the road once I did pass.

I'd also have told myself to forget about opting for Psychology at college because I would only get an E in my exam and that, nine years later, I would be a self-employed artist so maybe Business Studies might have been a better choice.

I don't know if I noticed any class prejudice - my dad ran his own company but grew up on a farm so I have no idea where that puts us in the traditional class scheme - but at my school there was an element of hierarchy. One other comprehensive was looked down on because it was seen as common, the grammar school in my town that needed an entrance exam to get in was deemed "stuck up", while the grammar school that you could pay to attend and also Stonyhurst College nearby were "posh". I wonder what they thought of our school - probably that we were just an ordinary comprehensive with delusions of grandeur! (When I saw my secondary school music teacher just after I left, he asked if I was at the Catholic sixth form that ours was a feeder school for - when I told him I was at the grammar school sixth form, you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.)

Some very good replies here, thank you.

Easy peasy.... you are stunningly beautiful, you are perfect, you are not fat, but otherwise just get on and enjoy my life just like I have.

No-one told me I was pretty until I started going out with hubby at 16... I was told I was the ugly sister with the brain...... I was huge and massive... compared to my mother who was virtually anorexic! My backside was huge and I had sturdy footballers legs, I was told... not what a 16 year old in the Twiggy era wanted to hear, lolol!!

But the photos I now have say otherwise. Of course, I AM rather large now, lolol!!

Love

Daff xxxxx

Funny that.My hypnotherapist set my deep inner mind of the present to comfort the young Sharron and now I understand the situation better I would tell the sixteen year old Sharron that she is in no way bad and she is coping as best she can with huge psychological abuse with no help. The failure is not on her part.
I would like to take her in and help her reach some of her potential.A modicum of praise would be a start!

I would have said to me at 16, live each day for what it is, stop worrying about the future, and stop feeling responsible for your mother's happiness. What happened to her in her life was not your fault and you can't live your life to please her, despite all the pressure from relatives.Be you and be proud of who you are! I think I might have also said get away from home if possible. I would have also told myself that I would grow into my Olive Oyl looks and that men do make passes at girls who wear glasses!

I never noticed any class prejudice at all. I lived in a council house, my mother didn't work but was very clingy of me and even made me go home for lunch as we lived close to the school instead of letting me have school lunches and so become more integrated with others who came from all over the city to our new senior school, which was the first co-ed grammar in Norwich. My father worked at a brewery as a Timekeeper and first port of call for visitors and draymen etc and we never owned a car. We were never well off, always had to have school uniform bought on the provi from the Co-op, and it's disgusting that that uniform was a different colour green albeit the correct colour so that if you had a blazer from the better stores it would be a softer green and very obviously different. Maybe my mother didn't want me stigmatised by having free meals and thought it was cheaper and easier to cook at lunchtime, it wasn't fun trying to eat and get back to school, especially when it rained or snowed and I got wet 4 times a day instead of just twice. Never stayed for a school lunch or sandwiches all my schooldays.

Oh to be able to turn back the hands of time.

Lizx

I think my 16-yr-old self would look at me and say ... oh ... so that's who I am ...


At 16 I was just getting out from under the class discrimination I grew up with. I was from the East End of London ... London, Ontario, Canada. The North London kids I went to school with were just, well, North London, and me and the handful of other eastenders ... weren't. My dad was a salesman, theirs were doctors and lawyers.

At a reunion of that class 30 years later (we were 10, 11 and 12 at the time), one of my east ender friends didn't attend. I hadn't seen her since I was 16, but I knew why. She was like I was at 12: not cute, not athletic, and not rich. And from the east end. We didn't get invited to the birthday parties.

At my table was Sarah. Her father was a doctor and her mother was a lawyer. I mentioned how "SL" didn't seem to be there. Sarah concentrated for a minute, and then said ... SL ... SL ... her father was a BUS DRIVER!!!

She didn't remember that SL was brilliant and witty, or know that she got a doctorate in history from a prestigious university and was working with battered women. Just that her father was a bus driver. Of all the things for a *child* to notice about someone.

I don't know what Sarah was, other than divorced, rich, obnoxious and stupid.

My 16 year old self, would look at me in surprise and say-

You always said that you were going to travel, so why didn't you.
You said that you wanted to do Am. Dram. so what happened.
You used to like to write, now you hardly ever even write a letter.. what excuses have you got for not bothering.


On the other hand, I think that she would be pleased that I took myself off to college at age 39.
That I survived divorce. And that I bought and paid for a house (albeit an old terrace one in the inner city) alone.

Dear All

Hello

I would tell my younger self to hold her head up and have confidence.

I would say ignore the snipes and spiteful behaviour from some people and that you can achieve much, without a degree.

I would also say stick two fingers up at those who look down their nose!

Take care
Very best wishes

My brother says that he was despised at grammar school because Dad was a dustman at the time. One of many jobs he had and changed when he got bored! I never had that experience at my grammar school, and the fact that I was a grammar school girl gave me a head start at any job I went after. Was told at one place that they hadnt any jobs in the office, but I went after a shop floor Job! In between nursing jobs.

Interesting question, Ann but I don't think my 16 year old self would get a word in with all the advice and warnings I'd be giving him;)

I think my 16 year old self should have given herself a good kick up the backside lol

My 16 yr old self would say ..hey listen up
stop being worried about what people would say
you've got the get up and go , so go for it stand up for your self
dont let others talk you out of doing what right for you .. Hazelx

I don't know what the 16 year old would say to me, but I know I'd give her a good slap and tell her to grow up, and I'd tell her not to keep letting people blame her for everything.

If only we had known these things Mac. Do you know that is why they turned you down? A friend, brought up in a council house, in the Fleet Air Arm with OH went for a flying commission and got it, only problem was he didn't like heights and gave up because he didn't like flying.

OH brought up in a council house was offered a commission (not flying) but decided it was not for him so came out.

When I think what I could have done and become makes me want to kick that 16 year old me.Thank goodness my 2 have had the brains and sense to do something with them.

Mine too Jane