General Chat

:-D :-D :-D

There must have been a few as Allan really was scraping the bottom of the barrel, but whether for solid or liquid scraps he neither knew nor cared.

He must try to contact to his OH, but if he was in the future, and she was in the past, this could be a problem.

Hindsight is a marvellous thing but this year Allan decided his foresight was going to be 20/20 :-D

Meanwhile, OH had been celebrating a later Christmas and had been well fed and had plenty to drink, but perhaps we should let Allan decide which calendar he will follow.

The days and weeks go by so quickly without us missing out a few.

I wonder if there are any left overs for Allan...............

The middle of next week, which means that Allan woke up on Wednesday 8th January 2020.

Quite what this meant he wasn't sure as he had always marched to the beat of a different drum.

So, he thought, reality is really an illusion brought about by a lack of booze.

Suddenly Allan woke up...it had all been a dream.....nope...OH had hit him with her copious bag and knocked him into.......

Fate's fickle finger, thought Allan

Having missed much early schooling he had always been slightly alliterate ;-) :-D

:-D :-D it seems some are tempting fate in more ways than one...

so back to distracting OH......

the 2 x 4 brought back memories of the times that Allan used to look through the Knot-hole in his granny's wooden leg.

His granny often regaled him with tales about that leg, like the embarrassing night that she lost it;

They stood upon the bridge at midnight, their lips were all aquiver, she gave a cough, her leg fell off and floated down the river

How to distract OH........Allan thought long and hard.....nope a 2X4 wasn't appropriate.....

There would definitely be fireworks when Allan's OH saw the dusky maiden

Allan hoped no one would take offence like before about the dusky maiden with the lovely bunch of coconuts but a drink he must have at hand for the new decade approached fast.....so coconuts tick...what else might he need to see in the New Year...he knew baubles were too much to ask for...maybe some fireworks??....

Just then a dusky maiden (hopefully) came in sight displaying a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Allan was going to need some coconuts for his New Year cocktails - now - where would he find those...….

The winds that blew the kilt had carried the message loud and clear and Allan wondered whether he would still be wandering or leaping as another year approached.
Did he want to celebrate another decade's arrival with a suitable bevy, ...if so what ?

Suddenly Allan realized he hadn't sent his Christmas cards due to his travels....where was an Elephants bum when you needed it....(reference Sharon thread)

He'd shouted out his Christmas wishes to the winds...and were hie ears deceiving him...what did he hear...... "And a Merry Christmas to you Allan and family and to all on this thread"

Chains!

Allan's OH had heard about chain mail and may have misinterpreted the expression as she found her lap-top and prepared to send out a series of intimidating emails.

Meanwhile, Allan was running through a field of very tall thistles, occasionally leaping in the air shouting, 'Och aye' and 'Hoots, Mon' and wondering where the Hogmanay ointment was.


*A very Merry Christmas to all the readers and contributors*

Allan turned the other cheek. He had no choice, it was particularly windy, and there was a lot of material in that kilt. Aye, Allan always wore his kilt in the Scottish way.

OH was fishing in the bottom of her copious bag, and by the sounds of the rattling and clanking, there could be the vision of Marley coming to help them out.....

:-D :-D :-D

He might even try it on his face one day :-0 :-D :-D

But Allan could cope as he's a real man...well that's what it said on his aftershave bottle anyway...if only he could not cry whenever he splashed it on...but it did sting .... :-(