General Chat

its his choice

if your son came home and told you that he had an older girlfriend who already has children? Would you be upset and want your son to find someone more his own age without baggage or would you be happy to go along with his choice. Jax xx

As long as he was happy n knew what he was doing....then I'd let him be......if there are mistakes to make he has to make them on his own. As a parent you can't help worrying tho.

I havent got to that stage yet as my son is only 13 but I know that I would let him make his choices and welcome them all into the family. I feel its a shame when things go the other way and have lived through that its hard.

Jax me mad Welshy matey Just thought I would say Hi .......not having a son I don't know. But I believe it's their choice and most mums are happy if they are.

Hiya My son has a girlfriend who is eight years older than him, she has also been married before. I like her so it is no problem, I think I would have been more concerned if she had children. If it was the case you described, I would have to tell my son of my worries, but still letting him know I will be supporting them if he decided she was the girl for him. Joy

Elllllo Jac me fellow surfer loving friend lol How are you ?? Thanks Joy & Shirley-Ann Yes i think you are both right people have got to make their own choices.

Jax as your son is only 13 I'd worry if he comes home and tells you that in the next few years. lol T.O.R. ;o))

pmsl Nah i will accept his choices whatever they are but tell him in no uncertain terms to treat her and the children with love and respect. This question is more about what im going through myself with my inlaws.

Don't see any problem really as long as they are happy Norah

Jax, I agree with what has been said here, you have to let them live their own lives, and make their own mistakes, all you can do is be there for them. I have a different situation in that my partner is 17 years older than me,( and we both have children from previous marriages) but I have never been happier, meeting him was the best thing ever in my life, and we have been together for almost 18 years now. Take Care Ann xxx

Put out a welome mat,and embrace as into the family,regardelss,,,,after all its not my choice,,,,,, ,,as till you know her/him you dont know what a person is like,,and having an older/younger g/b/friend dont mean to say they want to spend their lifes together,,,,,,,,,,but if its serious then leave them alone,,,,,if its wrong it will soon surface,,,,,,,,

Thanks everyone I think i will print this out and bring it to my inlaws hopefully they will see how narrow minded they are being.

interestingly my dad had this problem with his brother, his brother hooked up with a women much older than him, my gparents tried to ban him from seeing her so he left home to be with her and they havent spoken for 30years... let it happen.... any interferance will make things worse

My son was with his girlfriend for 4 years till February when they mutually decided to split up, she is only a couple of months older than him and she has a little boy who my son was great with. The little lad was 2 and a half when they got together altho they knew each other from school so my son knew her previous partner and the baby. She lived on her own for a few months after splitting with previous chap and then she and my son decided they wanted to be an item. Son still takes the little lad out for the day occasionally - he is 6 and a half - and the little lad said 'we will always have a special bond cos you taught me my manners and please and thank you'. I thought that was so cute. I am glad my boy didn't stop seeing the little fella and I am sure if he meets another girl with children he will be just as good. I hope tho that his next partner has fewer problems tho, so they can just have fun with no worries about babysitting etc.

Hi Jax, I was more than happy for my boys. 2nd Eldest met a girl 3 yrs older with 3 boys and they been married a few years now and added a Granddaughter to the Grandsons, they are very happy. Eldest son met a lady 10 years older with 2 children (my son also has 2 children) and married and are extremely happy too! If they are happy, I am too!! Got no problems with it at all!! Nanna-Moo ;-)))

i am the older woman in this case. my o h is an only child, it crosses my mind that we are depriving his parents of grandchildren. if i could have had a child with him, i would have, but that is not to be. he has said if it came to it children or me, he would choose me everytime. he enjoys his step grandchild and my two (grown up) kids as if they were his own. i have no idea what his parents think about the grandchild angle, they glad he is happy, they have said so. my own son was with an older woman for a little while, i liked her and made her welcome. it was his choice, he was happy. i thought that i wouldnt be a grandmother and that bothered me, but that was MY problem, not his and didnt let on. the relationship fizzled out and he is with a younger girl now and they have a lovely little girl, so i got my wish without making a fuss and loosing my son. if it to be, then it will be. thats what i say. tina x

In my honest opinion as long as your children ( whatever age ) are happy and healthy then how and who they live their lives with is entirely up to them. Parents are not always happy with how things turn out but they have had their lives and should not try to live their childrens lives for them. Lin x