General Chat

Our granddaughter has lived with us for nearly 7 years since she was 18. She knows the house rules about smoking in the house and never does it even if we aren't at home. She knows there's NO staying over and never ever has asked. we do ask tho that she tells us if she not going to be home overnight cos she knows I worry and cant settle until shes home safely. She just knows the rules and tells her friends no it ain't happening. They don't even ask now, As you say a dialogue now with your grandson seems to be the way forward so he can ,if necessary blame you!! if he has to refuse requests, its a face saver for him that way if he needs it Shirley

I think a nice talk will probally help,just tell him how much its upsetting you and his grandad,,and you care enough to let him have friends round and dont want to spoil his fun but some house conditions must apply,,

Seems to me you should issue him with an ultimatum,He behaves in your house as you say, or finds somewhere else to stay,His friends home perhaps?,after all its your home and even though he,s your grandson,He,s there as a Guest and should behave as such. Hal.

seems funny it's his pay day that his mates turn up.Are they scrounging off him or is he buying someones friendship.Or is it he gets cocky with you ,maybe when he has money to buy alcohol or something.I'm sure he's a good lad really.next time his mates are round catch them as soon as they come in and in a calm voice say You don't mind them visiting but you don't allow smoking in the bedrooms and please could they be on their way by such and such a time.

Goiong to have a serious talk to him tonight about it all and see what he says, to be honest I think he was a bit embarassed about the situation, I think it's his friend whose pushing it. Thanks anyway, feel a lot better now that I have got it off my chest.

well sorry at 17,,he should know & do better,,,,,,,,you really have to stand your ground and say enough is enough ,if he cant treat your home and you with respect then you will not allow friends of his in at anytime,,,,,,,,a hard fast rule you must stick to,,,,,,,,also make an understanding that perhaps a place or shared flat may suit his needs better,,,,,,,,,,if you give in and dont stand fast then it will escalate out of control till he is running your house,,,,,,,,cant his parents (if any) be told his behaviour will not be tolerated,,,,,,kids often see grandparents as a soft push over,,,,,

Same applies to your g.son as applied to your children I would assume. This is our home and you treat it with courtesy and respect and there are certain house rules. No smoking in bedrooms (install a smoke alarm) I know they could take battery out - but then you can install it and it will make a noise usually when it is removed. All visitors gone by ...................... and permission requested for visitors to stay evening or for a meal etc.

he's 17 and most of his friends are 18/19, the general attitude to it all is getting on our nerves, we may as well talk to a brick wall, we have laid down ground rules. It always seems to be Thursday evening after he's been paid the problem starts.

Hi , You dont say what ages are involved,,,restrict a time for friends in,one night a week and a leaving time,,,,

he's been with us for 7 weeks now and he's driving us mad, on the whole he's a good lad but his friends come and take it for granted they can stay, I even told one of them under no circumstances was he staying over and at 11.30 he was still there, I ended up throwing him out and I know he ended up sleeping in the street, what should I do. I have let them stay in the past, but hubby hates it when they do, as we know they smoke in the bedroom.