General Chat

Does he take sugar?

Too much arrogance ! I have just read an article which says ‘It is important to ask older people what they want when you are planning their care’. The article came from caredirections*co*uk. This is getting at a similar attitude of years ago when you asked the person pushing a wheelchair whether the person in the chair took sugar. The BBC had a programme called does he take sugar devoted to the old/infirm Why assume a person who is old, regardless of whether or not they need mobility assistance, is not able to have thoughts or the ability to think what they need? When I hear children do it, and that is rare, I wonder who they think brought them up. (That’s a bit unfair on the kids. There are more of them doing a marvellous job of caring than there are who run-down us wrinklies.) It is as bad as the oldies who despair of these young people doing mickey mouse courses at university. C

When we wanted Mum to have more help in her home, so that she could have her wish to stay there, we were told that nothing could be put in place unless she agreed to it. This is rightly so but it can be very difficult persuading someone who has been almost independant to the age of 94, that the time has come to accept a little help. My sister and I were considering each of us having to spend a month at a time living there...I am in Kent, Mum was in Hampshire....not ideal but we would have done so. Sadly, Mum died last year but I am glad that she was able to be in her own home for nearly 70 years. Gwyn

I work as a volunteer, and was amazed when I attended a pre season meeting that so much time was spent explaining to us that we should talk to the wheel chair occupant, and not the carer. To me it comes as second nature, as I am sure it does to a lot of people of my generation. But of course the powers that be have to make us aware of political correctness. Perhaps if children are to get lessons in respect, as mentioned on another thread, things will improve, and the nanny state will not have to give us such detailed guidelines on how to handle each and every situation. Whatever happened to common sense, and treating people how you yourself would wish to be treated? Dee X

Unfortunately human beings have many preconceived ideas. I may have said before that I am a trustee for Gloucestershire Lifestyles. GLS (to abbreviate) is all about enabling and empowering the disabled. We have disabled people on our Trustees committee, some have Cerebral palsy. Yesterday I was on an interview board for a new Manager for one of our departments and one of the other interviewers has CP and is in a wheel chair. He is very intelligent but to see him I am sure people think he is mentally impaired because he has trouble controlling his limbs sometimes and his speech is not clear. he would agree that people don't talk to the wheelchair user (we talked about it yesterday as 'the barriers that people put in the way of disabled people). Another problem people have is being hesitant to offer help for fear of embarrassing the person. I have found if I just say 'do you want help with that ????', I get a simple yes please or no thanks I can manage. they don't mind you offering help. The same is true of the elderly, sometimes they may need help, others they wont but you have to ask. Ann Glos

Dee - looks like we have another taker for our soapbox production line! Mo and others: Why give children lessons in respect? They follow the example set by the adults. If the adults treated themselves and their equals with respect the kids would be fine. I called once at a house. A pleasant young teenage girl answered the door. Whilst we spoke her mother poured a torrent of bad language down the stairs (which was unconnected with my call). The poor girl was almost in tears and just said 'oh mum' in a very sad voice. There are huge numbers of young and effective carers around. Don't knock them. Clive