General Chat

Thank you everyone for your advice. My daughter is sociable at school but has only a two 'close friends'.The problem is this girl's mother. She is very manipulative. She gets in with the other parent, becomes very friendly with them and manipulates things. She has done this before. I am not sure competing against the other parent is a good idea after all if this other girl was a true friend she would insist on seeing my daughter anyway. I will probably look into clubs and things, see if anything can be done. I'm sure I will be able to find something for my daughter. Thank you

Oh dear i know exactly what you are going through, rotten isnt it, my little girl is 9 also and from experience with my other much older girls, is to let them sort it out between themselves i know it sounds harsh, but believe me if you get involved with the other girls parents it can make it a whole lot worse! girls are like this one minute best friends, next fallen out someone gone of with so and so and then they are mates again! whats your child like at school is she quiet or very sociable? some kids, like my eldest, would only feel comfortable with say just one close friend made it heatbreaking when they fell out, but they soon make other friends try not to be too upset easy said then done i know. if you are friendly with the parents just have a quiet word. all the best to you and your daughter im sure it will work itself out. Sharmala.

Yes, I've been there 50 odd years.ago. This make sound corny or old fashioned - but are there any'Clubs' she could join, or any churches she could attend. Are there any animal centres near by. Get her involved with as many 'outside' interests as possible. That way you can help her find like-minded friends without seeming to 'tell' her who to play with. LW

I really do sympathise Fluffy, but, personally, I wouldn't say anything to the mother. People get very defensive where their children are concerned. I'm sure that this will all blow over; but. if it doesn't, can you invite any of her other school friends over? I'm sure your daughter will treat them with more respect and loyalty than her other friend has treated her. Good luck :-))

I have a girl who's 7 in Sept, so I know what you mean. Boys are more straight forward, with girls, emotions are involved more I think. I dont know what to say really, its already been said. My daughter is the new girl on the street, the rest of them are cousins, so either shes in with them or shes not.

Hi Ladies. Thank you for your reply. My daughter has other friends at school but one of them is tied up every Saturday with family and the others live too far awayand seem to have their own circle of friends. The other girl is friendly with my daughter but seems to get bored with her and in the past has just dropped her because she has decided the computer is more interesting! This was why it was such a relief when this other girl moved into our area! I don't particularly get on with her mother our personalities clash! I've noticed that the other girl has never had any of her friends back to tea from school nor sleepovers, however her house is 2 bedroomed and she has a younger brother who shares her room. I am really tempted to say something to my daughter's friend's mother but in a diplomatic way.

I think all our children must have been there at sometime. With my first three, they had eachother when things went wrong, but... It happened to my yougest, I too used to try to get them together, taking them swimming etc. It will work up to a point, and your young one will come out of it stronger. I think it is the worst thing in the world for mothers to 'make' their children *be friends*. I have seen that fail so many times. Children are people too, and they will like people they like!!! You may find that her little friend will miss her and come back of her own accord. Bless her I hope she has a lovely summer holiday. Deanna X

I need some sensible advice. My daughter who is an only child has regularly for the past 3 years played with her best friend at the weekend. One of the neighbours has now got very friendly with this friends mother and now her daughter is now playing with this other girl every weekend. My daughter is absolutely devastated. There is noone else her age that lives in our area. She has been in tears again today because when she finally got to play with her friend she was told that she had to leave as her mate was going swimming with this other girl then she was coming back for a sleepover for the 4th weekend in a row. I have had a similiar encounter with this neighbour 3 years ago when my daughter was pushed out of a friendship with another child. This lady got very friendly with my other neighbour and both families would go out reguarly leaving my daughter with no-one to play with! Thankfully this other girl moved into the area 3 years ago and she was able to have a regualr friend to play with. I need to know what to do? If this continues, this mother will monopolise the situation and my daughter will have no-one to play with during the summer holidays. Do I try and invite all the girls out perhaps so that maybe my daughter will get included in invites? Threes a crowd so they say? Do I say something to her best friend's mother? I would appreciate any advice from parents who have been in this situation!