General Chat

An Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met. Up to 20 inmates at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, seized the guard in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail. Initially they made 24 demands to authorities, but eventually gave up their hostage after agreeing to 15 pizzas, Coke and garlic bread instead. 'At midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered. Our staff member was negotiated out with the delivery of 15 pizzas,' Graeme Barber, Tasmania's director of prisons, told The Advocate newspaper. The guard is recovering from his ordeal at home.

Resumé Bloopers 'Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.' 'Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.' 'Instrumental in ruining an entire Midwest chain operation.' (Perhaps he meant running.) 'Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.' 'Finished eighth in my class of ten.' 'Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals.' 'Please call me after 5:30. I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.' 'It's best for employers that I not work with people.' 'I’m extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.' 'I Planned a new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.' Personal Interests: 'Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.' 'Education: College, August 1880-May 1984.'

A 77-year-old granny made a citizen's arrest in Germany when she rugby-tackled a 25-year-old jay walker. The pensioner sat on him until police arrived - because he had walked across a road before the light was green. The woman, from Freital, near Dresden, shouted at the man as he crossed the road before the little green man flashed up. The old lady said she became even angrier when he hit her with his rucksack as he pushed past her when he reached the other side of the road. She grabbed his hair and managed to wrestle him to the ground where she sat on him until police, who had been called by a passer-by, came. He was taken to a local police station where he was fined for jay walking.

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Two English football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'. The pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in German - so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car. But when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'. It was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street. They finally managed to find their vehicle hours later with the help of the German police.

lol Catherine. I particularly liked the one way street one!

Is that why i never got that Managing Directors job? lol

nudge to make you laugh catherine xx

Youve made me laugh hun!!! Caz xxx