General Chat

Hi there Ring your council and housing trusts, I think they are realising People who own their houses can't always afford to buy Sheltered Accomodation and are being more lenient towards private owners. The housing trusts might sound a bit better to your Mother than Council. Start soon though there are waiting lists, the sooner you get your Mum on one the better for her. I know how difficult and worrying it is when your Parent lives too far away, so I hope you can get something sorted out soon. Regards Jill

Hi Jill I am in a similar situation to you. My mum lives 30 miles away but the only transport I have is a moped so i have to juggle visits around work and weather permitting. Plus I have 3 grand children that want me to visit. Mum is 80 and has been on her own for such along time but her health is deteriorating fast. She hardly leaves her bungalow as she can not walk. The only time I know she goes out is when she gets a taxi to the post ofice then does her shopping and a taxi home again. She has now got her bungalow upfor sale so she can move nearer to us but so far this year she has had only 2 viewers. And we also have the problem of her not being able to afford a bungalow in the same town as us. She could go for a warden assisted bungalow as they are a bit cheaper when they are available but one mention of a warden and she does not want to know. I have not thought of asking our council if they could house her as she owns a bungalow. Dont know how I would stand with that one. Although I can see my mum poo pooing the idea of a council home.. Shall be interested to see you outcome. I do have a little hope though as my brother who lives the other end of the country is hoping to move up some time this year and he as a people carrier so visits would become more frequent then.

Hi Everyone I rang the Council today and my Dad has gone up five places, so he is 15th on the list I couldn't have rang that long ago so that is good news. Age Concern also gave me a phone number for Care Direct Helpline and they were very helpful and have emailed me loads of information. I also have information on Sheltered Housing in the City he lives in just in case he can't get in out here. Thanks for all of your support, just thought I would keep you informed. Regards Jill

Hi Lin The Doctor is going to be my next port of call. I phoned Age Concern just now and they gave me their Housing Advocacy number. So I will ring that tomorrow and see what they can suggest. Thank you. Regards Jill

Jill, have you tried getting your Dr. involved, maybe he/she could help. Lin x

Hi Everyone Have just come off the phone after speaking to the Social Services and they don't support People who want to move. They only give equipment etc to enable People to live in their own homes. Still seething, my Dad hasn't asked for anything in his life and now he needs help they don't want to know unless he wants stair rails etc. Regards Jill

We must be lucky in Norwich, Jill, because one elderly lady I looked after sold her house after getting a place about 18 years ago. Hope you get your dad settled soon. Liz

Rebekah I forgot to say my Dad couldn't afford a Bungalow out here because they are hugely expensive. Housing in his City are cheaper. Gwynne If your Dad wasn't in need at 96 with multiple health problems and in danger by falling over who is? Words fail me I don't understand People sometimes. My Dad is falling over too and it is worrying me as he has to crawl along the floor, get himself to the stairs and haul himself up. Thankfully he hasn't injured himself yet. He won't wear one of those alarms, I have given him a mobile phone but he won't carry it just takes it up to the shops with him when he is with his carer so hardly needs it then anyway. Liz I think different areas have different rules, I am sure you couldn't go into council sheltered before if you owned your own house but I think they have changed it. Thank you all. Kindest Regards Jill

The two old ladies I look after had their own house and put their name down for several different places, housing association, council, and methodist church places, and got one from the housing association then sold their house and kept the money. My late mum's neighbours who are in their 70's, did the same even tho they are still very active, just decided to do it before they became infirm and they moved just over a year ago and sold their house. I have known many folk around my area who have done the same, it just depends on supply and demand, but we are lucky in Norwich in that there are lots of choices.

Hi Jill, That's exactly what we found. He wasn't releasing a council house for a family so the local council put him in the 'pending' pile. Priority (around here) goes to those in social housing. The social worker said she couldn't recommend anywhere as they are not allowed to but did give me a list. She said that there were those 'more in need' than my Dad and they had to have priority. He was 96 with multiple health problems and kept falling over ............. The GP was as helpful as he could be and it was he who helped us find the place where Dad is now - which is costing a fortune. But that doesn't matter - at least he's being looked after. Once he found the vacancy the rest was up to us but we knew he wouldn't have mentioned it if he hadn't thought it was ok. Gwynne

Hi Gwynne I am told it doesn't matter that he has his own house, and if he does move he will sell it. My boss is a Financial Adviser and will advise him where to put his money to maximum effect. I don't totally trust authorities though, they may say it doesn't matter, but you may still be put to the end of the list in their minds to make way for People they think may have a better cause. I suppose this is where the Social Workers and Doctor will come in with the battle, because I am expecting one. Thanks for your reply. Kindest Regards Jill

Hi Jill, I haven't replied before because I couldn't think of anything helpful to say. We were in this position last year and, in the end, we realised we were on our own and had to sort it all out for ourselves. If Dad had lived in a council house or been broke they would have fallen over themselves but as soon as they realised he had his own house and savings we didn't see any of them for dust. Good Luck, Gwynne

Hi Ron That's a good idea I will record everything I do. Thanks for helping. Hi Liz I live in a small town, there are no real area's as such. But I may speak to Dad about puttinghis name down in the city he lives in it is not what we want but he may get out sooner. Thank you. Hi Rebekah The two main problem boys are Brothers, 1 may have learning difficulties. They only live two doors down and moved in recently Dad has always had problems with kids messing around outside of his property because he has a big green in front of his house. Why they choose just one small area is beyond me. Dad is afraid to speak to the Mother because he doesn't know what sort of reception he would get, he is disabled to the walk would take it out of him, and if the Mother wasn't nice I think he would be too upset to walk back again. I would talk to her, but I am afraid I may make matters worse, these days you do not know what to do for the best do you regarding yobs. I am hoping Social Services will talk to the Council there is a place 5 to 10 minutes walk from me which would be ideal. Thanks for your reply. Thanks to you all. Kindest Regards Jill

Just an idea, could you not sell his house and buy a bungalow near you? He'd still be entitled to a carer so you'd get a break. Its diabolical they take so long to sort sheltered housing out.

I feel really sorry for you Jill, because I know how intimidating antisocial brats can be (from previous house we lived in), and Im only 30. I'd hate to be that age and have to put up with it. I think its a postcode lottery for the housing, where Im originally from it IS a prob if you own your own house, so you're probably lucky that you have a more understanding authority. Can you ask social services to speak to the council? Some sheltered housing is more to do with the council than social services, depending.

Glad you have your dad on the lists already Jill, what I meant was be as flexible as possible with the areas within your district. In Norwich we have many different S.A. communities and if my Mum had put her name down for more than just the one on my doorstep, which I could have coped with, she might have had somewhere sooner. I wouldn't have minded travelling a mile or so to reach her but she thought she was helping me and not being a nuisance if she stayed close by. As it was she never moved, altho she did say making the decision would be so hard, she wasn't sure she could cope with it. In the end she never had to as she died in the house she had lived in most of her married life and beyond, a brand new council house in 1949. It was so hard returning it to the council, mum and dad never took up the right to buy it, which was a shame, my brothers and I would have bought it for them but they wouldn't get involved with mortgages and such. Good luck with finding somewhere suitable for your dad. Liz

Hi Jill. When you contact SSAFA they will probably want to visit your Dad to talk things thro. Would be wise if you be there as the Case Worker has to complete a report then make recommendations. The Case Worker will no doubt involve other forces/civvy organisations but I must emphasise again, the Case Worker will need all the facts regarding any action you have taken todate - good idea would be for you to make a list of what you've done and who you have contacted so far. Hope all goes well for your Dad. Ron

Hi Liz I put my Dad on the Council list recently and the Guinnes Trust list. He also has his name down on Abbeyfield. We can't be flexible as I want him to live in my town so I can visit him as often as possible aand he has us here to fall back on if needs be. We did look at buying and there was a sheltered flat for purchase here, but it was too expensive which was a shame because that would have been the quickest option. Thank you for replying. Kindest Regards Jill

Have you got your Dad's name down already for sheltered housing, you can do that now and then add the necessary info for pushing up the list according to the priorities and how many points he gets. Be as flexible as possible in the choosing of the areas, as if you only put down one place he will probably have to wait ages. My Mum did that after having a couple of heart attacks and being unable to go upstairs anymore, and was having to live downstairs for a year, with a commode in the hall, or an outside loo, and washing in the kitchen sink. She coped incredibly well -she had her bed downstairs in the large living room but it was a shame she never lived long enough to get a small s.h. cottage which she had hoped for. Hope you get your Dad into somewhere nice and close by. There are places that can be purchased as well as Council run and Housing Association places too. Liz

Hi Annie Thank you for the information about carers, I didn't realise he could still have one if he was in Sheltered Accomodation. All information helps. Thanks again. Kindest Regards Jill