General Chat

you're not a waste of space ,if thats how she feels just ignore her ,she is.nt worth the bother .hugs jeanie from Dot x

Hi Rose :) :) I wish you all the very best, it is very hard sometimes being a carer and giving so much time to others. I learnt the hard way to, the saying no to loved ones is very hard to do but its the only way sometimes. I hope you find your five minutes you time and in time feel a lot stronger for it to. God Bless You Colin :):)

Hi Rose You have received some lovely messages on here. I think we all seem to have the same problem. We put everyone else before ourselves - if they are happy, that makes me happy. But we have done wrong to not put ourselves first and for some strange reason, we are being punished for not doing that!!!

why is it that we feel so guilty when we take time for our selfs. like colins well chosen words we all need**** ME****time , yet few of us feel good about it . having just started to take time for myself and oh why do i feel so wicked when i say no ???????????? dawn xx

As the mother of four children YES....I have often thought of walking out and never coming back. It must be the most normal feeling in the world. The strength, the love, the duty....all these things and more comes in NOT doing it. Tomorrow is another day. I have found old age to be a very relaxing time....it comes to us all ....so just you wait. You are gonna love it!! :-0) Deanna X

Try to think of your own time as recharging the life battery. What happens to something that does not recharge itself, it goes under stress and eventually fails. With the charged battery comes new life and better ability to cope once again. Nothing selfish in doing that :):) Colin :):)

Colin is quite right about talking to people about your problems. Of course you would need to find the right person, dont want friends and relatives shying away every time they see you. I found it helped me to tell people when my oldest sister took her own life. Bottling things up would just make your depression worse. And running away wouldnt help either, you would just take your problems with you. Ask the doctor for help with people you can talk to.

Hula is absolutely right also, many friends and relatives see only the person they know to be the strong one sometimes and often they are lost when hearing that you yourself have a problem. In my own case I approached the nurse at our surgery, many of these are trained to deal with depression also or can advise on a route to take. I found that talking to the nurse who was a complete stranger to me made it so much easier for me to chat about things. Of course the nurse although trained also had her own life experiences to help with mine. There really are a lot more people affected by this then we ever imagine. Colin :):)

Colin Did it really help. Due to see a counsellor soon re my depression. I am not looking forward to talking about my personal life with a stranger, but if you say it helps then I will look forward to it. Lilly xxx

Yes, Rose, nearly every day at some point, Take care love, Caz xxx

When my daughter had her son at 16 , concealed pregnancy , it got too much for me one night and I drove off , went to the bank , drove passed a friend`s house but didn`t stop , drove into a Travel Lodge, didn`t stay, then came home .Felt better .I attended a Counsellor --great to talk to someone outside the family. Now my grandson is 11 , a clever wee boy and daughter`s at Uni doing Social Work so her experiences will help her future career, Ros xxxxx --to everyone who needs some

Thanks Caz, Feeling better now partly due to the lovely people on here and also because I watched 'Joseph' .....music always lifts my mood, even sad music as you always feel better for a good cry! Rosexxx

Hi Lilly :) From my own experience I will say that I found it to be one of the best things I had done in a long time, I had bottled so much up over a period of time and got to a stage where life had no real meaning anymore. I wanted to get away but where that away was I never really knew. When I got in the car and sat down the beach for hours I got a little relief but it also gave me time to dwell on things to. I had forgotten that I was a person in my own right, doing things to try and please and felt to low that I did not even have the fight in me to answer back when I felt something was not quite right. I had always been the strong one around others and one that people seemed to rely on it didnt seem right that I should burden others with my problems. This is the trap we ourselves fall into without realizing it, all our time is given to others, we forget our own feelings count as well. When talking to the nurse all of this came about. I would advise that you speak freely, not hold back and let go of the inner feeling that you are having for it is the release of this that brings so much more and a better understanding of how to deal with things. Colin :):)

Rambling Rose My gorgeous late uncle always said that - 'When you are sad, then sing.' Lilly xxx

Colin Thank you for that & I promise you I will go & listen. I do have lots of stuff inside that maybe its time to share. Poor sod will probably need to see a counsellor herself after listening to me. Lilly xxxx

I must admit that I used to feel like that a lot - then my Husband left last October! I didn't need to run away - he did it for me and now I realise just how unhappy I was and how much happier I will be once all the rubbish is done and dusted. Maybe you just have too much on your plate and need a break? Kaye x

Hello Kaye I've actually tried that one - asked him to leave even though I know its not him. I am sorry that it happend to you though, but if you are happier, then that is all that matters. Stay strong mate Lilly xxx

Hi Lilly :):) I wish you all the very best at the meeting with the councillor and hey dont you worry about them needing help after lol You think of you :):):) Colin :):)

Thank you Col Actually, cos everyone on here has cheered me up, she'll probably be wondering what the heck I am going for. !!!!

Yes, and I was discussing that with my friend earlier. Not that I could do it now, Ive got 3 kids. London is always tempting; it's like a huge magnet that draws people in.