General Chat

Goldilocks..... once upon a time ........

Through the thicket, across the river, and deep, deep in the woods, lived a family of bears – a Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear. They all lived together anthropomorphically in a little cottage as a nuclear family. They were very sorry about this, since the nuclear family has traditionally served to enslave women, instill a self-righteous moralism in its members, and imprint rigid notions of hetrosexualist roles onto the next generation. Nevertheless they tried to be happy and took steps to avoid these pitfalls, such as naming their offspring the non-gender-specific “Baby”. On day in their little cottage, they sat down to breakfast. Papa Bear prepared bowls of all natural porridge, but as it was too thermally enhanced to eat, they decided to let them cool and took a walk to visit their neighbours. A melanin impoverished woman emerged from the bushes. Her name was Goldilocks and she had been watching them for days. She was, a biologist who studied anthropomorphic bears. She had been a professor, but her aggressive, masculine approach to science, exposing its secrets, and using it for her own selfish needs, and bragging about such violations in the letters columns of various magazines – led to her dismissal. The rogue biologist wanted to collar the bears with radio transmitters and then follow them in their migratory and other life patterns, with an utter disregard for their personal (or rather, animal) privacy. With scientific espionage she broke into their cottage. In the kitchen she laced the porridge with a tranquillizing potion. Then in the bedroom she rigged snares beneath the pillows of each bed. When they took a nap she would lash radio collars to their necks. She though: “These bears will be my ticket to the top. I’ll show those twerps at the Uni the kind of guts it takes to do real research”. She crouched in the bedroom and waited, and waited, and waited. The bears took so long to come back, she fell asleep. They eventually came home and sat down to eat breakfast. Papa Bear asked Mama Bear if the porridge smelled off. They all agreed that it did smell sort of chemically. Suspicious they rose from the table and sniffed around. Baby Bear said that something smelled musky and sweaty and not at all clean. They moved into the bedroom and Papa Bear saw the snares and radio collars under the pillows. Baby Bear pointed to the corner where Goldilocks slept. The bears growled and she awoke with a start and tried to run. Papa Bear caught her with a swing of his paw and gobbled her up until all that was left was a bit of yellow hair and a clipboard. Baby watched in astonishment. Mama, Papa I thought we were vegetarians, he said. Papa Bear burped and said they were but was always ready to try new things. Flexibility is just one more benefit of being multicultural. Aileen xxxx

Indulge me ! For I am in need of some sanity.

Whoops.............. you beat me to it My Lady.... Give me five mins . l

Aileen !!! You are the most fearsome of Grannies that I have ever encountered. And you have more balls than so many who feel that they have so much to say on this site. But could I just make one teeny weeny observation ? Yours, L

Oh please do kind Sir. Aileen xxx

Oh Dear ..................... why are my knees shaking ???

Oh don't get your tights knotted. Go for it. I've lost one tooth and two others are wobbling so I won't bite you. Aileen xxx

Your thread seems to be somewhat.................. Unsympathetic towards the brave men who have bestowed so much upon our society. Have to go now ................. good night !!!

Forsooth, my apologies. Wait until the next bedtime story comes out. I've typed most of it up now. Methinks I may be exiled from the realm, but I am just being as politically correct as I can be. I do much prefer the original versions but one is not allowed in this troublesome age we live in. Sleep well your lordship Aileen xx

Maybe I shall look upon your recomposition on the morrow My Lady. But right now.............................. Maybe my legs are not what they used to be. Your Servant, L