General Chat

When I was 20, my supervisor at work left and before they could get anyone else in, I did her job. I thought I did her job really well, but at the end of the day they advertised outside the company and took on someone much older and I was dumped back on my old job. I went into to see the boss totally distraught, asking him why I couldn't have had the job as I'd done it perfectly well. He looked at me as if he didn't know what I was talking about. The long and short of it was, I looked for another job. Will say one thing, I remember keep asking 'when do you stop being a junior' - it seemed to go on for years, but eventually they see past your age, which may be the main reason you aren't given more responsibility. Short sighted of them but thats the way it seems to go. You'll get there, just keep believing in yourself. You know you can do it.

Too late for today, but I notice you are going into work today with a negative attitude already. I learned all too fast that if I thought something bad was going to happen, it usually did. Try this tomorrow. When you get up and get ready for work, tell yourself you've had enough of naff days, today is going to be a great day and you're not going to let anyone spoil it. Walk into work with a cheery smile and hello, see the reaction. It's a simple exercise in thought. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts, don't let those negative thoughts get in the way of what you want. Its damn hard to begin with, but with practise, you will soon learn to do it out of habit. If you make a mistake, dont let it get you down, just accept it as a mistake, and look at it as an opportunity to learn from it. Chances are that if people are not making mistakes, they are not doing much anyway.

You've taken the first step by recognising that you have a problem. So don't do yourself down. The greatest gift you can give yourself is self confidence. You need to find something or things that you have a natural talent for and develop them. Is there a sport that you enjoy? Athletics or swimming, cycling, rowing? Maybe your body structure doesn't fit you for running, so how about weight lifting? What non-sport clubs are in your area? If you can join one you will make new friends to replace your present ones that you yourself admit may be unsuitable. Above all, have faith in your own worth.

The last post is spot on dont aim for the moon............. Everyone makes mistakes I know I did. You can not change the past but can make your future better. Being the pretty one or the slim one doesn't matter it's what is inside a person that counts. Have a moan, talking to people who do not know you is sometimes better they can not pass judgement on what you have done. But can guide you and make you think more positive I always wanted to be like a girl that lived by me. Her parents had money, mine did not she was slim and pretty I was skinny with glasses. I'm older and wiser now, I have many ups and downs in my life some what may seems petty to others and big things that would possibily breaks others. But I'm still here and I think I have turned out ok, thanks to all the ups & downs of life and the lessons I have learnt along the way. Without those I wouldnt be the person I am today. Sharon

Try not to think that you have made mistakes. Look on them as lessons in life and that with every lesson you gain experience. It will all fall into place. You are feeling down because it all seems too much at the moment, but if you can take little steps forward you will gain every day. Give yourself goals, but make them achievable. Don't forget - shoot for the moon because if you miss you are still among the stars. Good luck, sweetheart. Susan

have a good day stacey remeber your young beautiful and your going places xxxx

Morning Everyone, Thank you all very much for your support, I maybe back this evening to moan a bit more after work because knowing my luck it's going to be a naff day! I know I'm young and have plenty of time for lots of things but I suppose it's because I've got a old head on young shoulders that makes me think well why isn't this that and the other happening for me. Expecially when it's happening for my younger cousins. I just want to say thanks again!! Sxxx

well said MM.xxx

Stacey - you go on for as long as you like. It won't bore us. It will help to ''unload''.

Stacey, you're trying to improve things - at the risk of sounding patronising, that's a big step. Don't be so hard on yourself. :-) These people you want to encourage you may - just may - need proof that you're trying to do this. I say this, because our daughter is always talking about what she plans to do, in all sorts of things, but she never does these things. We say to her that action speaks louder than words. But that's our daughter, not you; your circumstances may be different. And you're definitely not stupid! :-) *wags index finger at Stacey, scolding her* (((HUGS))) - and keep up the good work! Tell us how you get on, eh. x

Stacey, listen to what people are telling you. 1 You are not stupid 2 You have not let anyone down 3 You are right, you shouldn't be on antidepressants at your age, what's gone so wrong to cause you so much anxiety? Thats what you need to talk about. 4 Stop judging yourself against other people. They have hangups about the way they look too, believe me! I used to think like you, that everyone was slimmer and prettier. You know what, I found out one day that they thought I was the slimmer prettier one and they felt bad about themselves. Hold your head up girl and be proud of who you are!

Racey your only young, you have a lot of time yet to prove yourself, and im sure you will, Keep you chin up, you appear to know your goals and it will come, Take Care Lilxx

Hi Stacey First of let me tell you it takes some guts to come onto an open board and reveal how bad you are feeling. I am proud of you for doing just that. Many people make the mistake of hiding their feelings, bottling things up and never find a way of helping themselves feel any better. You have taken the first step forward in doing that also. We all make mistakes throughout our lives but without them we would also never be in a postion to help others in the future. It is when we realize that a mistake has been made and go out to improve a situation that often we find a harder battle. The battle is there for you to win. Take it slowly, one step at a time, you can win. At the age of 20 you have a lot of life ahead of you and time to turn most things around. You just have to believe in yourself. In time others will believe in you also. All the very best Colin

Thanks everyone, I've not been able to talk to any of my friends or family about things. My doctor wants me to take anti depressants and see a councellor and psycho therapist. It's stupid I'm 20 I shouldn't have to think about pills. I just hate that I've let my parents down. I'm friends with all the wrong people (just hate the fact their all slimmer and prettier). I dunno maybe I should just stop feeling sorry for myself!

Racey have you tryed doing an Action Plan with your line Manager, set some objectives and a time Scale you are able to achieve them by, involve them as much as poss and ask them to monitor your Personal Developement, then that way you will know and they will know just how much responsibility you are able to manage, if you have done this already i would suggest you ask for another line manager to assess you abilities, Good Luck Lilxx

I second Puss and the other great guys, This board is a great place to let things out and I'm sure I am safe in saying that none of us would mind a PM to have a chat, Its good to let of steam, nice to see you RS!!!!!!!!! Caz xxxxxxxx

Stacey, don't be too hard on yourself-I made mistakes at 20, we can't be perfect, we choose wrong careers, jobs all sorts of things. Sometime you learn by your mistakes. Keep your head down, work hard and you will be noticed, it dosen't all happen overnight. Takes years. Be patient, your efforts will be rewarded I'm sure. Good luck. catherine xx

we are all here for you talk as much as you like xxx

Stacy we all made mistakes when we was 20 and still do, at least you are trying to put them right....you go girl...x

Awww Stacey, your time will come ..promise, just be yourself, it really is good enough. Tina xx