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If I am doing the right thing why do I feel so gui

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

kate 66

kate 66 Report 7 Nov 2006 12:56

Hi Dawn I feel for you i am having the same with my 8 year old. Since he was in reception i have been hearing the same thing from his teachers he won't concentrate. I have done everything i can cutting out e nos. giving him omg 3. but nothing he was seen by a child pyshic and adhd was thought but when the school spoke to her no he wasn't.one thing told to me and another to her. He brought work home on wed. and i was in tears it was awful the spelling of tomato puree did not have any vowels in it. At this point i phoned by pyshic up after 18 months and spoke to her about this and that he is behind by 2 years in his reading and writing. She was shocked the school are not giving him and extra help, I am paying for extra tution 1 day a week. we are having a meeting. I spoke to his teacher about it and she is fab not like his past ones. she is worried as i am. I think it could be dyslexia as so does the doc and teacher. That's why we fight to get him to do any writing. Keep fighting for him if the school don't support you keep on at them. Good luck Kate

Catherine from Manchester

Catherine from Manchester Report 6 Nov 2006 20:57

I have had this with Amy. Just lately she been terrible with her homework. She tends to rush it and is scruffy, I been having a battle with her for weeks about it. I done a timetable that shows what she got to do in the morn and when she get home after school if she got homework. I have told her if any work not done, cos she tends to leave it in her bag, now all homework has to be put on Kitchen where I can see it. I have said if she don't improve I will be having words with her teacher. You got to be strict dawnie to a certain extent, don't feel bad though. catherine xx

Tina-Marie

Tina-Marie Report 6 Nov 2006 20:52

Dawn, you are doing a wonderful job with laddo, but there comes a time when they all have to 'burn' to 'learn'. A ticking off from the teacher may or may not do the trick, but...... He will turn out to be a well adjusted young man regardless of the homework issue, because he has the support of his family and a loving mum. Tina x

~irishgirl~

~irishgirl~ Report 6 Nov 2006 20:25

i had so much trouble with my son in the end the school stopped giving him homework it got so bad, sorry but i think thank god

Ladylol Pusser Cat

Ladylol Pusser Cat Report 6 Nov 2006 20:05

dawn you are only human and can only do so much i have the same problems with my 15 yr old infact i dread every morning these days it seems teachers are putting more and more pressure on parents and when you also have health issues its to much so please dont feel guilty you have nothing to feel guilty about xx

Dawnieher3headaches

Dawnieher3headaches Report 6 Nov 2006 19:50

well hes panicking now, his homework tonight took 2 hours of moaning at him to get it done and not allowing him to go out. Now he has realised his project has to be in tomorrow and is in a tis cos I have sent him to cubs and he knows I wont do it later. You may hear the screams tomorrow

Janet in Yorkshire

Janet in Yorkshire Report 6 Nov 2006 19:04

Dawn. I think his teacher is jolly lucky to have such a caring, co-operative Mum as you to work with. You would be surprised at how many parents regard home and school as separate places, without any carry through from one to the other. Jay

Star

Star Report 6 Nov 2006 19:02

Hi Dawn i get the same problem with my triplets(they are in yr 5 Primary) the trouble is they never feel like doing work after being at school, and they never seem to make the effort. I have started to say its up to them, if they dont do it they will have to pay the consequences. Hope you get your appointment soon, one of my triplets have been going to see the mental health team and so have me and my oh. Our problem is my son still needs to be seen by the ed physic but there is such a long waiting list at there school, the mental health team think his falling behind at school is causing his behavioural problems at home. Hope you get the help you need and you are doing the right thing, kids certainly have lots of ways of making you feel quilty. take care and hope they sort your health problems out also the stress cant help that also. Star

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 6 Nov 2006 18:56

Dawn Somtimes we can tell em till we are blue in the face!! but they take more notice of others. You can only do your best and fight for all the help you neeed from the authorities. Daughter has a stepson aged 6 with learning difficulties who was being left to his own devices by the social services altho they werent happy with his mums care. Daughter & her hubby got custody a year ago and hes come on leaps and bounds cos daughter wont be patronised and speaks up at meetings about his progress. Sometimes the kids need someone outside their comfort zone to make them sit up & take notice. carry on what you are doing cos you re a good Mum

Cumbrian Caz~**~

Cumbrian Caz~**~ Report 6 Nov 2006 18:32

Dawnie I dont know the full story with laddo but if you want to PM me I have dealt with mental health team with one of mine and Ed pstchologist aswell, Caz xxxxxxxx PS It may not feel like it but you are doing a fab job being their for the kids,

Dawnieher3headaches

Dawnieher3headaches Report 6 Nov 2006 11:45

Thanks folks. Have just phoned the Mental Health centre where he has been referred to to see how much longer the wait will be and they are just dealing with end of Januarys going into February referrals and Laddo was refferred in May so still have a few months to wait. You never know by the time he leaves primary school in July they might of seen him and we might start getting somewhere.

Jen ~

Jen ~ Report 6 Nov 2006 11:40

Of course you're feeling guilty Dawn, but on the positive side, you must remind yourself, that it is for his own good. One day he will understand that, even though he's kicking against it now. Tough love hurts all around I'm afraid but, he will never be motivated if he feels he can get away with pulling your strings, and not ever knowing what that feels like himself. You'd be surprised at how much notice children will take from other's, as they become embarrassed at the dressing down they receive. They may not like it, but they do take it on board. Hope everything comes out well for you and son Dawn. Jen

Ann

Ann Report 6 Nov 2006 11:39

Hi Dawn, You definately did the right thing. You did it because you love him and he will realise that, one day when he is older and wiser, that you want the best for him. Don't feel guilty, be proud of yourself for being a good mother. Ann x

www.Siouxhealer

www.Siouxhealer Report 6 Nov 2006 11:38

Hi Dawn, you're feeling guily because you don't want to hurt your boy, but you're not hurting him, your trying to help. Sorry I don't know the situation.... how old is he? Sounds like something is troubling him / holding him back? He may not have spoken to you or his teacher about it, but he surely he wouldn't be so reluctant if there wasn't something bothering him? XXX Sioux

Jillaroo

Jillaroo Report 6 Nov 2006 11:36

Dawn, sound's like you are doing your best, don't feel guilty, is there any fun in his life, life has to be balanced, can't be all school and homework, cheers Jillx

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 6 Nov 2006 11:33

With every action or inaction comes a consequence. It's possibly the only way to learn. You're doing the right thing, I'm sure. Susan

MaryinSpain

MaryinSpain Report 6 Nov 2006 11:33

Hi Dawn You did right - you feel guilty cos you are his mom. When our 2 boys were at school they did not like homework and we had problems which we never found out about until Parents Evenings- On one occasion my hubby gave a teacher 10p saying phone me up and tell me - teacher replied not allowed to. Glad those days have gone - did not have the energy then - and definitely not got it now. Keep your chin up - kids grow up and become decent human beings - eventually. Take care Mary in Spain xx

Roxanne

Roxanne Report 6 Nov 2006 11:30

Dawn,Your being a very responsilble parent,sometimes tough love is the only way. dont beat yourself up about it, your 100% right. Roxanne x

Dawnieher3headaches

Dawnieher3headaches Report 6 Nov 2006 11:27

Some of you will know we have trouble with laddo at school, this weekend he had loads of homework which through shouting tantrums and tears we got done. For the past two weeks he has had a project to do. All weekend we have been asking him to do it and he hasn't. Has to be in this week and he has onlly done a couple of pages with four lines on each. to get those four llines has taken him over an hour on each typing into the computer. Today told his teacher I didn't have the energy anymore and when he handed it in could she tell him it wasn't good enough. As I have said he hasn't put the effort in she can do something and he will probably lose his break. If he gets told by his teacher I am hoping it will make him realise that he cant get away with it, why do I feel so guilty though