General Chat

Thankyou, I needed a good laugh while I peel the superglue off my fingers (mending teenagers school shoes at 6am is not my greatest skill). I can't even moan about her not telling me last night as she was rather busy trying to get chilli juice off her skin!

PREGNANCY Q&A, & more! > >Q: Should I have a baby after 35? >A: No, 35 children is enough. > >Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? >A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. > >Q: What is the most reliable method to determine baby's sex? >A: Childbirth. > >Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's >borderline irrational. >A: So what's your question? > >Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, >but pressure. Is she right? >A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. > >Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? >A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. > >Q! : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while mywife >is in labor? >A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you. > >Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? >A: Yes, pregnancy. > >Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? >A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. > >Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act >normal again? >A: When the kids are in college.! > >'OESTROGEN ISSUES' >10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'OESTROGEN ISSUES' > >1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. > >2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. > >3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. > >4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. > >5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker >that says: 'How's my driving - call 1-800-'. > >6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. > >7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space'. > >8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. > >9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. > >10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.. > > >TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND! > >10. Cats' facial expressions. > >9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. > >8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. > >7. Fat clothes. > >6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. > >5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. > >4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. > >3. Eyelash curlers. > >2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. > >And the Number One thing only women understand: > >1. OTHER WOMEN > >

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