General Chat

Dawn, a banana at night helps with sleep and stops them waking up feeling hungry too. Have you tried a star chart and maybe her own clock. Show her the time you will go back say half an hour,(put a little sticker on the appropriate place if she can't get the idea)and give her a last kiss, then if she stays quiet she gets a star, and if she stays quiet again after that last kiss, and doesn't make any more fuss, she gets another star in the morning, when she has so many stars she gets a small prize. I went through it with my son, he didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 3 and as a single parent, it was dreadful, I was like a rag, 35 too so not so energetic as would have been if younger. Good Luck, you could tell her your friends on here think she is a big girl who could do what is suggested and we want to know how many stars she gets? Liz

Read this today. http://www.cnn.*com/2006/HEALTH/10/13/bedtime.strategies/index.html Check out the last part. Remove the * Rose

Dawn, I know its a bit of an expense, but would she appreciate a small fish tank? she might watch the tiddlers( sorry about that) swimming around, and would likely be asleep when the light switches off...? Bob

Just spotted that she sleeps in your room. So, am I right in thinking that the ONLY time during the day when she is on her own, is when she goes to bed? This must be quite scary for her then, if she doesn't have any experience of being on her own. But the fact that she screamed when you were in the room seems to be more to do with getting your attention, than fear. Now, I don't know if this would work - I did it when mine was in hospital, which is a different situation, I grant you.Visiting hours were strict in those days and my daughter was only four and screamed the place down when I left, naturally. The wise old Sister on the ward told me to leave something with my daughter, that my daughter knew I valued - in this case it was a cheapy necklace that I wore a lot. As you are in your own home, it could be something more valuable, say your watch. Say to your daughter 'I have to go and do the washing up now, but when I've finished I will come back for my watch - will you look after it for me?' That way she will know you are coming back. It might take a while, she will probably only last about 5 minutes the first time, but it's worth a try. I do sympathise - my middle daughter never slept more than two hours till the day she started school. I have had many a doll's teaparty at 4 a.m! In the end, I used to sit in the chair and go to sleep and she would get fed up and wander off back to bed. OC

Lunar she has a beaker of warm milk when she has her story and usually asks for more

any chance warm milk would help? has something to do with the sleep hormone (melatonin), some milks add extra hormone to help people sleep (come in a blue carton with moon and stars on I hink)

OC over the weekend I turned my back on her and read my book but tonight she was so distraught I had cuddle her for a bit to calm her

From watching SuperNanny..... Story/whatever as usual, then a firm goodnight. When she starts, go into the room but do not pick her up, ask what is wrong, say goodnight, it is going to sleep time now. If she carries on, stay in the room with her but do not make eye contact. EVENTUALLY she will fall asleep. Well, that's the THEORY - but it might take some nerve to carry it through! the idea is to make your return to her room as boring as it can possibly be - at the moment she is getting exactly what she wants, which is your undivided attention! OC

Jennifer apart from the monsters we got rid of she hasnt said anything apart from I want you and your not coming back

I found nice soft music, and a little night light worked a treat-hope you sort this soon-is she afriad of something-the ticking of a clock is soothing as well, keeps the heart beat regular old wife's tale I know but believe it.

Thanks ladies. She doesn't have the overhead light on but likes the ceiling fan on where is anybodies guess. Will have to get a tape machine moved in there sure son still has some story tapes hanging around if not will buy her some. She plays with the edge of the pillowcase so maybe ought to get a spare one and lie with it tonight.

They get so insecure and we dont even know why, my eldest was the same and I tried all the techniques which eventually worked, but I was younger, only had 2 and less stress! Good luck and hugs dawnie, caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dawn, I had exactly the same thing with my youngest - 15 now. Each night i lay on the end of her bed and held her foot - so she knew i was there! Sometimes i was so tired i actually fell asleep and i found that as i relaxed she did too. Gradually bedtimes stopped becoming such a battle, and as she realised i wasnt going to escape at the first oppurtunity she fell asleep fairly quickly. It took a while, but she never had any more problems sleeping. My doctor told me to leave her to cry, but i couldnt. Sometimes they just need some extra reassurance. Elaine x.

Have you tried giving her a comforter that has your 'smell' on it.(not being rude here) but maybe if she had an item of your clothing that she could have with her, it might allay her fears, and help her to think that you were still close to her Good luck Kath

Wait a minute, putting on my Nanny Hat. Overhead light off, bedside lamp on, television off, soft music or story tape or CD on, tell her you will be back before music stops/story finishes, leaving her with a soft toy, who wants to listen & needs her.(You may have to sit & record your voice telling the story) Hopefully she will be asleep when you go back, but do not leave it too long for the first few visits. If this works, start tape/CD farther in, reduce wattage of bulb, but never leave her in darkness.

i dont know what it must be with your little one tiddler dawn she must be just in that habit they get in, it doesnt help you with your pain though

Brenda we always read her at least one story and woe betide if we skip a page or say the story wrong lol. Julie that was me when dad was a way used to play mum up something rotten, suppose tiddler is getting me back for what I did to my mum

Jean, did wonder wether to get a disney one for her but she even has the side light on not main one and wont sleep. Caz - heartbreaking when you have to go out and shes screaming for you, I came in with laddo tonight and hubby went out to take Lynns daughter home as she would of been even worse if I had done that as well

its probably graeme away they pick up on it , people say they dont know but they do they are clever little people these kids when OH used to go away thats when mine was worse , tantrums, play me up, it were him that got her to stay in her bed

not tried anything yet just getting to end of wick now