General Chat

My son Stephen has been gone seven months now, my hubby made a lovely cross for his grave, but I wanted something more personal, but felt a headstone was wrong as he was only 34, so I looked and looked and today when I was not looking I found something perfect. Rang all four children and three said if that is what you want Mum fine-the other said please yourself but I think it is wrong. What I found was a young boy holding a rabbit about 3 foot high. Bright eyes had been our song for ever, we played it at Dads funeral and also at my Stephens baby's funeral. It is so apt, and I have said we can get a proper headstone eventually. One Son definitely not happy, three kids say if it is what I want-which it is-but do I go ahead and put it in his grave?? What would you do?

I would go for it Jennifer it sounds lovely and obviously has a meaning for you. I'd say you got the majority vote. Don't worry about it, he will soon come round have you explained what it means to you? catherine xx

well it is what you want, id be like yo though need his agreement, do you think maybe hed feel in agreement if he suggest waht to write on it, to maybe include them all, he sounds like hes still hurting , but so are you, im sure hell come round sending you hugs

I have explained it is temporary, have sent him a picture and he agrees it is nice but thinks we need a headstone, which I have agreed to, in time. In my eyes the second I saw it I thought of Stephen. It is so apt.

If it seems right for you, put the boy holding rabbit by the cross. Your other son is the one it's for. My Grandson has a cherub, a hedgehog & a headstone.

{{{{{{{{{hugs Jennifer}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I would go for it, I think we can very rarely find agreement in a large family, It is a lovely idea, caz xxxx Take care love.

The problem is Stephen is from my first marriage so has a different surname, but for years he used the same surname as them, then changed back to his original one-now two children want their surname on it and two do not-I cannot win, so I thought that what I bought was great, and we will get Stephen-1971-2006. end off.

He just text me-it is lovely-but not what I wanted-but for now it is fine-Thanks be to God.

thanks too to stephen he must have had quiet word, :-)) hugs to you

I heard Stephen ask me to buy it, I know he loves it.

I reakon you should just follow your heart as they say a mothers instinct and bond between her and a child is one that can never be broken. You are one of the only people in the world that will truely know you children. You will make the right choise i am sure of it. Good luck sweet heart Bubbles

No not to childish just not a headstone-what Stephen would love-I know my Son so well.

I have deleted this twice because i know what i want to say be it keeps coming out wrong. So i am going to just send this now and say sorry if it comes out bad. You will always look at your son as your little boy and maybe you other son thinks of him as a man. You have already compramissed by saying that you will get a headstone. Maybe you are not ready to think as him gone? Because he is your little boy and always be.. Sorry Bubbles

thats nice bubbles i dont think thats bad, its true you always see your kids as your babys

It sounds lovely Jennifer, stick with what you feel, and you have the majority on your side.....maybe your other son can add a tribute of his own....

Losing someone can take a long time to get over and for some they just don,t believe they are gone and anything you will do will at the present time not make them understand..I think that the one who said no was either very close or is very sensative...Go with your heart and with the rest of your family. I hope all goes well soon..Jay.xx

Jennifer, I think the boy with rabbit sounds lovely, I do hope it will be safe on there as where my daughter is buried, there are lots of problems, people steal things from the grave, and the council mowing chap has mowed over her grave several times, each time breaking down and killing the tiny rose bushes that grew there. They even replaced them once with some patio roses, not the ones I had before, but I left them to grow, then they broke them down again. I put white plastic fencing round to make sure they saw the grave, it is only a tiny one, and has a tiny headstone on it, but they have broken the fencing now. I had to start insuring the headstone in case the idiots broke that too. Why not set a time scale for the headstone to be placed say, by Stephen's 40th birthday, so you can start saving towards it and there will be plenty of time to decide what to put on it. I am glad your son has come to terms with the statue now, and you will be placing it soon. Liz

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) jennifer go for it thats whats in your heart ,and what you want dont change youe mind lol joycex