General Chat

My daughter and her friends are all 17 and go to an independent school. One of her friends (not a friend any more!) has been carrying on a full blown affair for the last six months with a married man with three kids that she worked with. She was asked to resign from her job because of it. This girl has never made any secret of the affair and has been known to waltz into a lesson late saying ' Sorry, I was in bed with Steve.' Needless to say all the other girls are sick to death of it. They think it's wrong and although they've talked to her still it carries on and it's putting a lot of pressure on them as they come up to university entrance and A levels Loads of people know, both in and out of school and it's only a matter of time before her parents find out. My daughter had had enough over the weekend and was going to go and tell the other girl's parents, but I persuaded her that another parent (ie me) should do it. I spoke to the girl first and she admitted everything to me, then I phoned her Dad, who didn't seem surprised, but said he would have to speak to her Mum. Mum then spoke to the girl who then denied it all and Mum believes her!!! Dad believes me and has asked me to leave it with him. He has no problems with my telling him, so I don't feel as bad as I could have about going behind the girl's back. It's just a mess. How would the rest of you have handled it? Thanks for your comments so far. Things are hotting up now since one of the girls from school realised she knew the bloke's oldest daughter (older than his girlfriend) from Guides, went to see her and told her all about it. Course, she told her Mum and we are not quite sure now where it will end. It's been quite a week. So many text messages! Sheila

think you handled it in a very sensible way. It's a difficult one. The girl is being very silly in my opinion with the married man and you would think he would know better. Better you talked to the girl and her parents rather than your daughter.Bit sad though the dad believes you but the mother don't. Think they all need to sit down as a family and talk about what's been happening. I'm sure if the wife found out, he'd drop the 17yr old like a hot brick, then she would have been made to look a total fool. catherine xx

Very well handled...... how about speaking to STEVE though??

Sheila, i think you handled it spot on, what a silly girl, but at that age they think its cool and are 'in love' they dont see the heartache and damage they are causing and as for him, he wants hanging up by his b****. I think you will probably find out that the mother does know or suspects it to be true, at least now maybe the mother will be watching and taking a bit more notice of what her 17 year old is doing xxLynnxx

Sheila, I think you handled the situation extremely well. Perhaps the Father of this girl should find out who this married man is and ( As I Would ) have a very serious word with him,Informing him of the error of his ways and the 'Dire' consequences that would result if he did,nt stop it Immediately. Hal.

All Thank you for your responses, which make me feel better. At least I know now that her parents have been told, so it won't be such a shock if someone lets something slip in the shop. What amazes me is how convincingly she can lie, even to her own mother. She is quite an operator. Just didn't like going behind her back, but it was clear that talking to her wasn't going to have any effect. Wait and see what happens I guess and thank my lucky stars that my daughter does nothing worse than not clear up after her and lie in bed until lunchtime! Thanks again Sheila