General Chat

one of my mums best friends her daughter married last sunday and on the tuesday she went of to the hospital to have her first scan because she believed she was nearly 12 weeks pregnant while doing the scan they found the baby had died 2 weeks earlier so the following day she went in to hospital to have the baby removed and now 5 days on she is back in hospital for a third time to have more surgery to remove what they believe is still part of the pregnancy for 5 days this girl has been in agony not only greaving for her child but not having her surgery done right in the first place i pray i never ever have to go through this ,all you hear is how much the goventment are putting into public hospitals ,and after her first surgery her mum asked can you remove the cot from the room as my daughter has just lost her first baby to which the nurse replyed where am i suppose to put it !!!!!

Oh Kylie, I don`t blame you for being angry. That is awful and how insensitive of the nurse. I miscarried last month and I had a complete M/C was lucky in that aspect. She must be going through so much hurt and pain!! My thoughts and prayers go out to her xxxx

That is so awful for her. I found out at my 12 week scan that my baby had died but fortunately I had wonderful care and the operation was straightforward. The attitude of the nurse is unforgiveable and a complaint should be made although your friend won't really feel like it at the moment. My thoughts go out to her and I pray that soon she will have a successful pregnancy as i did Sarah x

I went in early for my 12 week scan - I knew something wasn't right, but was heartbroken to find my baby had died a couple of weeks earlier. I couldn't face surgery, couldn't face staying in the hospital for one more second, so I opted for the 'natural management' as they called it. It was the worst thing I have ever been through, and believe me I've been through some rough times! I sat at home just waiting, knowing my baby was dead inside me, knowing the miscarriage was inevitable, but praying that maybe, just maybe, they had got it wrong. When it finally happened the pain was excruciating and the grief was like nothing I had ever felt. Although the hospital staff were very sympathetic, I did feel that they tend to forget that they are dealing with real people and real grief - it was all so straightforward to them. I was given a sheet of A4 with instructions...have some painkillers, eg paracetamaol handy etc ..and just went home. Your friend really should make a complaint - chances are the nurse hadn't any experience of miscarriage, or the devastating effect it has - a complaint will at least highlight an area where the staff need some decent training!

When I miscarried my first pregnancy I was admitted to hospital with complications and was taken up to the ward in the same lift as a newborn baby. I was in a four bed ward with two other miscarriage patients and a married career woman who elected to have an abortion because she had unexpectedly been offered promotion. The staff ended up having to move her. The insensitivity shown is sometimes breath taking.

My daughter in law was told at 20 weeks her baby was dead.In NZ that is considered a still born so baby had to be named and has a death cert.She too had to have the baby just like a normal birth with nothing at the end to hold and love.Had the baby lived he would have been due this month.They are heart broken.It was their first.

Dear Kylie, so sorry for your friend. I had my seventh miscarriage on feb 24th this year, had been for my 9 wk scan to be told It died at 7 wks, I had to have surgery too, but at least that was uncomplicated. The baby I lost before this 1, I carried to 15 wks before going for a scan, to be told it had died at 7 wks. That was what made my mind up to have the d&c, I couldn't bear the thought of carrying for another 6-8wks knowing it was dead and just waiting for nature to take its course. I hope your friend recovers from the surgery okay this time, the emotional wounds take longer. I also hope that all is well with you and your bump, keep us posted, love wend xxx

i totally agree. i have had 4 miscarriages the first 2 were full at the early weeks the 3rd was in greece and it was unbelievable i was under a local for them to perfom the operation and at the bottom of the bed was a bucket where they disgarded the baby. the 4th was at 7 months and that was awful too. I never forget about my 'babies' but now that I have my son who is now 10 brings life however all the money spent on the government what would happen if any of this was to hapen to cherie Blair ( god forbid ). Im sure then something would be done.

This is a very sad story and sorry to your Mum's friend. I hope I'm never in such a situation. I'm a nurse and would never be that insensitive to a grieving person - or anybody in fact. I disagree with your comment though, Kylie, about all we hear about is how much money the Government puts into the public hospitals - perhaps you mean how much they don't put into the public hospitals and how short staffed these hospitals are. Besides that though, your Mum's friend should write a complaint on behalf of her daughter, because as somebody mentioned, that's how problems like these are brought to attention and rectified. From the other Kylie in Perth

Kylie I am very sorry to hear about your friend, and everyone else who has suffered losing their babies. I was told recently, by a doctor, that for every doctor or nurse empolyed in hospitals in Australia, 3 administrators are hired. Where is the sense in that.