General Chat
Welcome to the Genes Reunited community boards!
- The Genes Reunited community is made up of millions of people with similar interests. Discover your family history and make life long friends along the way.
- You will find a close knit but welcoming group of keen genealogists all prepared to offer advice and help to new members.
- And it's not all serious business. The boards are often a place to relax and be entertained by all kinds of subjects.
- The Genes community will go out of their way to help you, so don’t be shy about asking for help.
Quick Search
Single word search
Icons
- New posts
- No new posts
- Thread closed
- Stickied, new posts
- Stickied, no new posts
Right , question ! What do you think?
Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
---|---|---|---|
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 20:02 |
Hmmmm SRS , yes they did know and that is all I can say without going off on one ....lol. To be scrupulously fair they were no doubt doing their best to protect their son's interests and acted accordingly at the time. |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 19:28 |
Hi George and Margaret , I did have help looking for him on the ER but he did not show up , or at least no way of confirming it ... too many same name and no real idea if he stayed in same location. |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
George | Report | 31 Aug 2009 18:30 |
Hello Rambling Rose, |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 18:25 |
Had a very casual chat with son over tea.... quite 'interested' but more in the sense of curiosity than actually being 'bothered' if you see what I mean. If he mentions it again I will maybe pursue, if he doesn't , will let it lie for now. |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 18:12 |
Back :) and thanks to all who have added while I have been out ( Asda very busy !) |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
JoyBoroAngel | Report | 31 Aug 2009 16:39 |
if after 14 years your sons dad hasn't been in touch |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Uggers | Report | 31 Aug 2009 16:24 |
Rose, I think all you should do for the moment is keep having occasional chats with your son about his father. Whatever happens has to come from his inclinations - but of course he also has to know (which he probably does) that he can talk to you about his dad whenever he wants. |
|||
|
ChAoTicintheNewYear | Report | 31 Aug 2009 16:21 |
I agree with TW. I was thinking as I was reading through this thread how to word it but she's done it better than I could, so other than saying I think you should ask your son before doing anything I'll leave it at that. |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads | Report | 31 Aug 2009 16:05 |
At the risk of being controversial here Rose, I really dont' think that as your son is now14, the choice is yours to make. It is HIS choice. |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:47 |
Yes Wanda , he has always known . |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
PollyPoppet | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:40 |
hi rose i had the same problem father wasnt interested in contact with my son and daughter i left it until they were adults and they both got in touch with him for a while he was keeping regular contact but then it just stopped no reason but that was his choice and my children dont bother with him now so sad because he missed out on so much and he has 3 grandchildren he shows no interest in either if you have a rough idea or possible address you can get and keep updated if you can then when your son decides the time is right for him you can then give him an address to start from |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:28 |
Thanks all :) |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Silly Sausage | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:17 |
or perhaps its like asking him if he wants another arm, what you have never had you can never miss he just isnt interested coz he doesnt need him, maybe you are thinking Rose that father is one missing out on a wonderful child. |
|||
|
Amanda2003 | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:14 |
I am thinking along the same lines as Stray and Hayley . If it where my son then I would wait for him to ask for my help in finding his father . After all Rose , your son must know that people can be found and as he hasn't asked then perhaps he isn't ready yet ? |
|||
|
Cassidy | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:11 |
Hi RR,I see your point and it's difficult for you. |
|||
|
Silly Sausage | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:08 |
My question for you Rose is, who would be more hurt if he declines, your son or you? I think you know it would be you, I agree with Stray, wait till son asks, because either way you will always beat yourself up over this and I know from my own experience. I have read on this very board someone in the past who was at a word forcing her ex to have contact with his children, I did agree with her point they are his children and he has a moral duty to take his share of his responsibility mentally and financially but the guy just didn’t want to know and she wouldn’t take no for an answer, in my opinion this was more damaging for children than no contact at all. |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 15:05 |
Thanks BC and Karen :) |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Rambling | Report | 31 Aug 2009 14:58 |
Hi Cassidy, it was never my choice not to have contact , in a way I think you have that feeling as a single mum that maybe a 'father ' figure is more important when a boy hits his teens? |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
Karen in the desert | Report | 31 Aug 2009 14:58 |
I think you should try to make contact, but perhaps without telling your son for the moment, just in case it goes all wrong. |
|||
Researching: |
|||
|
ButtercupFields | Report | 31 Aug 2009 14:58 |
I asked my son many times over the years, if he wanted to be in touch with his father and his answer was always an unswerving no thanks and a puzzled look saying...'now why does she think I would want that'...lol..which is just as well as, so far, I have'nt been able to find his whereabouts...and he knows where I live:-) |