General Chat

sometimes, there is a grieving that nothing can assuage and so it comes out in anger at stupid situations around one, we all have those moments when we take out on someone or something the grief and anger we have to smother just in order to get through the days.

Maybe there has been someone on this board today...probably more than several actually.... who wasn't really in the best frame of mind to show restraint in words or actions.

I wish you all a safe journey through the night and hope that help and comfort is somewhere close at hand if you need it .

Night all
Rose xx

A WHITE ROSE FOR PEACE XXXXX

Dear Rambling Rose

Hello

Beautifully expressed post

I agree with Carol B, respect for you.

Very best wishes to all
xx

Rose I am glad I have been missing

safe journey thro' life hun

And I missed it all, typical

Nicely put Rose

restraint ! where when who ?

KINGKEITH Today at 09:36
restraint ! where when who ?



- here
a lot of the time
me

And don't tell me I haven't, Keith.

KINGKEITH Today at 09:36 Request review
restraint ! where when who ?

ME!!!!

Sue

Restraint. Well lets take a look at that word.

Does it mean, that to show restraint is to say nothing at all?

Or does it mean, to use reasoned argument rather than a rant?

Or perhaps it means NOT to retailiate with insults and accusations when these are levelled at you.

All three came into play yesterday, so yes, there was a lot of restraint on one side, while another persisted in re-opening the old blog debate and hurling insults at people on this site. Any one of those people could have hurled equal insults back, and would have been within their right to do so, but nobody did. Challenged the person yes, reasoned with them yes, but retaliated? NO. That's restraint.

Did it get us anywhere? Nope.

Very well said, Rose. It is so easy to think of all other members as being like ourselves, sitting in front of our computer, communicating with each other - having a chat!

We cannot see the other people who write on here and we don't know if they are happy, sad, upset, ill, worried, drugged, drunk or any other way that I haven't mentioned here.

It's not easy to say nothing when we see an ugly or ridiculous comment made about ourselves or people we have come to know and respect - and that's when we jump in and type an answer without thinking first just what condition the other person might be in.

If you can resist the temptation to reply - it is far better to ignore the comment and they will go away - but just one reply is all they need to add fuel to their fire.

i agree with that in part Berona, except I know from bitter experience that ignoring does not make them go away...but I do know what you are saying.

However, does feeling ill, grieving, depressed or just generally upset give anyone the right to hurl insults and accusations at others who have nothing to do with the root cause of their problems? I dont think so.

iv got to agree with TW being ill,grieving etc does not give you free rein to abuse and try and belitle people

we all have things going on in our lives some people decide to share others keep it to themselves

but its not a free ticket to do what you please as adults we choose what we write on here and we post i,t and hiding behind illness,grief or even just a bad mood is not an excuse and shouldnt be used as one in my opinion xxxx

No, TW, it certainly doesn't give them the right to do that - and it's why I understand how it is hard not to reply - but it is also why I say we don't know what condition they are in.

I have since had a few more conditions come to mind - like, twisted, depraved, etc. How do we know how their minds work? or what makes their minds work the way that they do?

When I have been ill or grieving or in a bad mood, I don't go anywhere near the pc unless it is to get lost in my tree.

My family are here in the real world to help me through those tough times, thank goodness.

That isn't restraint, just how I deal with things:))

xx

I have an aunt that is just about to undergo an operation for breast cancer. We won't know til after the op how much the cancer has spread.

I'm worried bl**dy sick BUT

I would rather switch the computer off and do something else if the strain were getting to me rather than demean myself by taking it out on people on here and behaving in such a rididculous manner....in fact a few times last week I did just that....switched off and did something else

It's called self control and personal pride.

I stopped arguing - showed restraint if you like - because I found myself becoming a person I didn't like. I will however stick up for my friends on here - I just may do it in a different way that's true to who I think I really am.

Sue xx

Yes it is difficult not to reply to an insult or a slight on oneself or ones friends and it is very easy to become embroiled in a discussion or argument, but it is counter productive to continue with it. A short sharp reply is usually effective and then. switch off, cool down, and...walk away.

I agree with Berona, we do not, on the whole, know how vulnerable, deranged or damaged some GR members are.

BCXXX

Kitty, you took the words right out of my mouth. If things are that bad that your mood is altered, stay off the PC.

If I'm not in the best frame of mind, I just know it won't take much to upset me, and I could easily take something innocent out of context and take it all too personally. Knowing myself the way I do, I simply stay away from the PC, and do something else. Read a book, sort through my family history notes, watch a film, listen to some music, or go for a walk to clear my head.

It's easy, and far better than taking it out on others then playing the victim.

BF, your last sentence is correct, we donot know but what amazes me is that someone can go to a meet act shy and retiring ( so l've been told) yet rant and rave on here like a mad women, ??????

I agree with you Sylv, most of us manage to keep our real life circumstances seperate from GR,

Yes Mumo but I dont do it often lol