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Childrens Invisible Friends

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Len of the Chilterns

Len of the Chilterns Report 9 Sep 2009 22:30


Parents who worry about their child’s imaginary friend should relax said a team from Manchester University in the UK and La Trobe University in Australia. Children with invisible friends or personified toys were not misfits or loners but highly socially interactive and creative. “Having an imaginary friend is a good thing” said Dr Evan Kidd.

Children from ages 4 to 6 were asked to describe images in a book. Those with “imaginary” friends were significantly better at communicating than those who did not.

Dr Kidd said that to communicate information to another person you have understand what they need to know. Talking to an imaginary friend gave children practice at this “because they had to invent both sides of the conversation”. He said about two thirds of children between ages three and nine had imaginary friends and it was a myth that they could not differentiate between imaginary and real friends. The children also used their imaginary friends to help them understand the world about them
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Susan10146857

Susan10146857 Report 9 Sep 2009 22:38

Hi Len,

Good to see you :-)


Now what I would like to know is....Does this also go for people who talk to Teddies?.......not saying that I do or did....just asking :-))))

Janet 693215

Janet 693215 Report 9 Sep 2009 22:47

I had an imaginary friend. His name was Shim Sham and he was a spider who lived down the loo.

I can guess how he came about, no doubt I saw my mum disposing of one and decided that he should be my friend.

Thing is, I don't like spiders but I suppose he was my way of dealing with it.

PS we have Boris living behind the TV unit at the moment. I have no intentions of befriending him!

SueMaid

SueMaid Report 9 Sep 2009 22:58

My daughter - who is now in her 30's - had an imaginary friend called Puppy. It would amuse us no end when she chatted with Puppy and made room in bed or at the table for her friend. It was a sad day when we realised that Puppy had gone.

Sue xx

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 10 Sep 2009 00:16

Hi Len, nice to see you around. Hope you are keeping well.

I don't think my son ever had an imaginary friend but he manages well socially, perhaps because I took him with me to do jewellery parties from the age of 6 weeks and when he was a toddler he would walk round handing the trays of jewellery to people and would chat to them lol I am sure he helped me sell more than I would have - pity we couldn't keep going on with it, but had to stop when he started morning nursery as he couldn't have the late nights.


Susan, with numbers, I am still awaiting an answer re the amount of teddies you seem to live with!!

Lizx

Susan10146857

Susan10146857 Report 10 Sep 2009 00:28

Millions Liz :-)))))....been collecting since I was younger and daughters took over. Am just in the process of getting rid of them to grandaughter.

I just talk to the imaginary wall now :-))

Persephone

Persephone Report 10 Sep 2009 00:38

My mother thought I had a whole room full - not only did I talk to them - I would reply using different voices. I was an only child and imaginary friends were part and parcel of being one.

My husband had one called George - he used to help him back his bike up with it's trailer on it. Sadly George has long gone as it is left to me to stand out in the rain giving directions when he backs our trailer and vehicle down the drive.

Perse

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 10 Sep 2009 00:48

Both my daughters had imagnary friends - and both were called Patrick!
elder daughter was secretive about her friend. But it transpired she was dyslexic - and Patrick helped her to learn to read - which she could do before she started school.
My younger daughter said her friend was a victorian sweep who was used /abused by his grandfather, and died.
Patrick (of the younger daughter) used to write on my walls until I told my 3 year old daughter that she was responsible for his behaviour - and it was very rude of him to ruin my decor - he wouldn't be welcome if he carried on.
Amazingly - he stopped!!! LOL
My children fully understood the diference between their imaginery friends and real friends - they were/are in no way 'Billy no mates' - their imaginery friends were definitely an addition to their lives, and I accepted them as part of their growing up - even though I never had one!
Even now - they're 29 and 27 - we still talk of the 'Patricks' in their lives!

MargarettawasMargot

MargarettawasMargot Report 10 Sep 2009 02:48

My youngest sister had two.Their names were Desley and Jesley, we would hear her having a great conversation with them when she was in the bath.We had 3 girls in the family,there was 2 years between myself and my younger sister,and then a 5 year gap between the middle sister and the youngest.She tended to be left out of things,as she was the baby sister,so I'm sure that she made up these imaginary friends to compensate.She was about 5 or 6 I think.She is now in her early fifties,(53rd birthday today), has always been very popular at school,and now enjoys a very busy social life,is very articulate,so I'm quite sure that she suffered no ill effects!
We 3 girls are all very close now.

Thank you for putting this thread up,Len,I had forgotten all about her imaginary friends.Just wait till I remind her!!

Margot.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 10 Sep 2009 03:44

Susan, are you going to change your name to Susan Valentine lol?

How lovely to be able to pass on all the teddies, they are family heirlooms now. I have so many things I would love to pass on to a granddaughter, do hope I get one eventually, before I am too old to remember the stories behind the things. Still have some of my dolls but my Mum must have got rid of my teddy a long time ago, I don't remember having him when I was growing up so maybe I lost him, or she gave him away or threw him away, he was pink and I have photos of me with him. The scary thing was his name was K****, and my partner now has the same name lol He isn't pink and fluffy tho. I don't know who gave teddy that name as I had him when I was a tiny baby too young to talk but my Mum told me I had him when we talked about it in later years and I saw him on photos. It was a strange name for a teddy, he could have been called Hoff lol

I love the stories of the Patricks, and George and the others. I will have to ask my son but I never knew if he did have one.

Lizx

TaniaNZ

TaniaNZ Report 10 Sep 2009 05:53

well we had a little horror called sparky living in our house,got up to all sorts of things until my youngest was about 5 years old then he suddenly disappeared.
To this day the older kids start laughing if something goes missing and always call out in unison It was SPARKY

mamiddau

mamiddau Report 10 Sep 2009 12:01

My daughter is 5, and has several, she calls them her pretend friends, they appear to be much more fun than her younger brother! I had one too....it was a squirrel, called skiw....! when we moved when I was about 5, my mum and dad convinced me that Skiw was hibernating, and we couldn't take him with us. I was apparently ok with this, until my uncle came to visit, and "brought" Skiw with him......

why am I admitting this on a public forum......oh the shame.............

Sharron

Sharron Report 10 Sep 2009 13:54

I wonder if Mrs Jannocky and her son Snapdragon are still about.I haven't heard from them for fifty odd years now.

Len of the Chilterns

Len of the Chilterns Report 10 Sep 2009 22:59

Hi Susan

My second sentence above confirms by inference that Teds are included (personified toys)

Susan10146857

Susan10146857 Report 11 Sep 2009 00:53

The thought had crossed my mind Len.......Did you have an imaginary friend? and also....we have heARD WHAT THE SO CALLED EXPERTS HAVE TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT....BUT WHAT IS YOUR OPINION AS TO THE REASONS FOR SAID IMAGINARY FRIENDS.....I WOULD ALSO BE INTEREsTED TO READ OPINIONS OF OTHERS......(.Sorry Caps lock)!...... can't write it over ...please don't make me sob!

Persephone

Persephone Report 11 Sep 2009 01:19

I learnt so much from my imaginary friends - they always seemed so knowledgeable. LOL

Joking aside - probably important to have someone to talk to when there is no one there. They listen well. I guess it is a way of getting what's troubling you off your chest so you can go off happily and play something else.
I never had a friend that I could blame though (not allowed) - anything that I did was my fault, hence I hid the strap which was an absolute godsend, they didn't find it and I only got sent to my room which was fine because that is where my imaginary friends were to tell about it.

Persephone



blackrose

blackrose Report 11 Sep 2009 08:55

I always understood that there was a theory that imaginary friends were often spirits and that young children especially are particularly sensitive to them. My youngest always had an imaginery friend who she spent hours talking to but she was always popular and had loads of friends and also being the youngest of three who were very close in age she often wanted time on her own so her imaginery friend wasnt borne from lonliness. she has always being very sensitive and intuitive.

Len of the Chilterns

Len of the Chilterns Report 11 Sep 2009 22:19

Susan

No, my friend was not imaginary but real, He was like a living garden gnome and came and talked to me when I was in bed. His head was level with the mattress I never knew his name.

It is my opinion that some "imaginary" friends are disembodied minds which a child (and some mediums) may discern.

Len of the Chilterns

Len of the Chilterns Report 11 Sep 2009 22:47

Many psychic children, and also children who do not otherwise appear to be psychic, have imaginary playmates. This sometimes worries their parents who believe them to be hallucinating. Sometimes it scares the parents who then actively discourage the child from talking about it. All this achieves is to frighten the child who subsequently believes it somehow must have done something wrong, and acquires a strong sense of insecurity.

Some psychic children have spontaneous out-of-the-body experiences and experience floating around, out of their bodies, around and outside the house. This usually at night so, if they speak about it, the adults may write it off as a dream. The child does not realise that not everyone has such experiences.

Many children have some degree of psychic ability (or ESP) including telepathy. Language differences are no problem for 3 to 5-year-olds, they chat away happily in, say, English to a Croat child who responds in Croatian and they understand each other. They may even interpret for the benefit of grown-ups. This telepathic ability usually declines and disappears by the time they reach 7 or 8.

The conditioning to Western thought, which they get from the moment of birth, usually suppresses any incipient psychic functioning by this time. The mind of the growing child begins to be fettered.

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 12 Sep 2009 05:13

My daughter had an imaginary friend, who often used to have to eat with us! We had to make sure that both were comfortable a t bedtime.

I can't now remember the name. The friend disappeared when J was about 6 or 7.

J was an only child, although she was very sociable especially with adults.


Not only that, she had her own language as well ........ we had to learn it as well if we wanted to converse with her (in the car for example).

It consisted mainly of grunts, aha, ahem, hmmm, etc ................... all in different tones and emphasis!

She was a very vocal child ......... was talking by the time she was 9 or 10 months old, talking in sentences by about 15 months ......................... playtime even by herself in her room with her dolls was always vocal with both words and "her" language.


sylvia