General Chat

First thing I did was hop over to gen to find the thread,but it wasn't there, so I can't really see what was said or why.

However, as others have said, we all have to start somewhere. Lots of people don't realise it is site MEMBERS giving help, not staff, and the cost comes out of their own pockets, so I do see the frustration if something had already been answered on another board.

But those who do post on several boards, are not doing it to deliberately cause others to 'waste time and money', it's not meant that way. It's clearly that they don't know the best place to ask. It's likely to put people off when they are effectively yelled at for doing so.

It would be nice though, if those who gave help, were acknowledged in some way...I've often seen complaints that the person asking for help has not even said so much as a thank you, on the thread or by PM.

Can I make a point that nobody else has?

When I first came on the boards, I was looking for living rels, and thought it would be THEM who would answer. Perhaps other newbies are under the same illusion, and that is why they put the message on more than one board.

Such charming comments ... pmt, hot flashes ... a certain time of the month ... What absolutely ugly misogyny, and from women. I guess it's only women we're talking about then? Funny; I don't think so. I think I'm looking at people who can't speak civilly and make an argument, and think that vicious insults, degrading someone because she is a woman, are a good substitute. Disgusting. Simply disgusting. And utterly shameful.


Competition?

No. Teamwork. A lot of us get a kick out of it.

We DO NOT get a kick out of being SET UP for competition, which is what multiple posting is.

*Let's just see whether someone over here can get me a better answer than I got over there, or the last time I posted* ...

It is the responsibility of people who use a discussion board to know how it functions and what its rules are. WE cannot offer a crash course in all that to someone we don't even know exists until they post three threads simultaneously and several of us waste our time duplicating work, and, yes, sometimes expense.

Why would anyone post on an internet discussion board without spending a couple of days, or even a couple of half-hours, READING it to become familiar with it first? Why does anyone tihnk that only THEY are entitled to consideration?? Why are the helpers not entitled to consideration????

That said, the whole mess is the site management's fault, in that the site management could *prevent* these problems if it did two things.

1. Bring the rules/guidelines to people's attention directly, by presenting a simple version right in front of the faces of posters when they click to compose the post to start a new thread.

2. Stop sending inexperienced users to their "surname boards", where they see a tiny dark corner of the wide world of family history help boards here at GR and never click on the tiny print ("to list the entire trying to find board, click here") and so have no idea where their threads appear and how many people see them. They see four one-post threads on the Chippendale "surname board" from 5 years ago and think this place is like a lot of bulletin-board type sites on the net, and have no idea that 30 people will immediately read their post and start trying to help ... and thus never bother looking for answers ...


We pay our money, our efforts make money for the corporation, we get treated like dirt by it. I don't enjoy being treated like dirt by people I offer to help.

And I'm nothing except amused by people who say things like "i am thinking of not continuing". What, this is supposed to be devastating news for the people who enjoy helping those who appreciate it?

Boils down to this, none of us need to help , but we enjoy doing it because helping as many people as possible get started on their tree, or knock down a brick wall is satisfying.

Time spent by each of us on duplicate threads is 'wasted' time that could have gone on helping someone else .

Politeness costs nothing ( lord I'm like my mum ;) ) both from poster and helper ( though some tongue-biting is often done lol) .

Too many boards I think covering the same ground, for eg I really hadn't looked at Surname info, except when filtering for a specific surname...but I see there are lots of queries on there which might get more response on Records...

to be honest I find the heading of this thread very unpleasant indeed as the nice people on these boards far outweigh the "orrible" ones and I think it gives the wrong impression to anyone who has just ventured on the boards

btw, "on gen" is supposed to be "on genesreunited" ... kind of like when people on TTF say "i'm looking for the marriage of john smith and ma" and don't bother noticing that the name was cut off.

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.asp?wci=thread&tk=1179769

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.asp?wci=thread&tk=1179768

Posted 3 minutes apart.

And Julie's absolutely horrible comment was:

"All this info was given to you on your other thread before this one went up
It's not a good idea to have the same thread on 2 different boards"

not exactly followed by a gracious thank you.

I think you've all been 'had'....

Thanks Janey

წ.Julie.წ

Looks like Nina is having feet for tea, again. Sorry if I offended, not meant, some of us do have a sense of humour.

It must be the north south divide.

I have just come on to do some more work on tree , and found all these comments...yes everyone is free to say ur piece...

But i have to say : I DID THANK AND EXPAINE TO THE KIND PEOPLE WHO ANSWERED MY REQUESTS FOR HELP BY P.M. from both boards.

Yes my Mistake I did put it on 2 boards, the first one i thought would only be looked at by people who had same surname i requested help for.
Then i put it on other board for general help, as soon as i was told it was wrong, i started writing to the helpers on both pages, this must have taken me a while...
Am not perfect, but i supose for those on this site most nights it must be frustrating when it happens....
For me it was upsetting and makes one wary to ask again....thank you to everyone who understands it was a genuine mistake on my part...never been perfect and never will be i expect.....Ciao Joanie

Hi there Janey - how you doing - are the peepers fully recovered now?

Hahahahaha: "Sounds like you need to take a break from helping if you feel so violently about nothing."

Honestly, whoever you are, you seem to be in need of something like a doctorate in psychology. Actually, nobody needs one of them to recognize a really stupid insult cloaked in nonsense when they see one. I sure don't.

Even with one eye not working at all, eh Ann o' GG? ;)

Personally I've been flattered when someone has sent a PM to thank me for my help.
I understand, that its best that these should be put on the thread to acknowledge all who've contributed.
But thats human nature. In life people will want to to thank someone personally when receiving an answer to a question.

Joanie, don't be deterred in placing your questions on here. There is always someone willing to help.

Steve
:o)

How do I say welcome back. Well I've just said it. I am so pleased you are posting again. Yes you know who I mean. I hope 50% is working well.

Now I had this posting the same ***message twice****explained to me ny GR sometime back..........

As it stands ,,which is not so clear,,their meaning is.

***posting the same message on the same board*****so as not to swamp it,

Also its only a ***GUIDELINE***that you dont post the same message twice on the same board,,its not in the T&C>>>>>

My take on it as of now ?

Joanie posted the same request on several boards.

She got a bit upset in the way she was told off for doing so & posted this thread, after she tried to make amends by PM-ing people to say sorry and thank them for their help, and people kept on telling her off when they needed to just do it the once.

Some people have explained on here, some of the reasons why people get so upset about multiple requests for help.

Some people on this thread have been unnecessarily rude, harsh or aggressive which would put other people off asking for help in fear they will get the same treatment over a mistake.

For gods sake, no one has died, a mistake was made, the person was made to realise that & they got a bit miffed so they posted this thread.

Shes not the first to do so, and neither will she be the last.

Have a HAPPY Day Joanie,I to made and make many mistakes, and sometimes get hung drawn & quartered,but you know what, i just leave that board and look in on someone else.When i come back all the heat has gone and some kind soul has set me on right path.I don't think those who don't suffer fool's Mean to be unkind they are just passionate about what they do and do it well and Cant possibly understand why we get it wrong or cant grasp it.
I for one need telling a lot more than once how things WORK.
SO chin up Joanie you have kindred pal's on here as well.

How rude!

As it happens, Julie is one of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. There are a few 'orrible people have replied to this post....but Julie isn't one of them

I'd say there are very few horrible people, just that some have a different style of speech maybe....... bit like the Dr's 'bedside manner' some people prefer being told straight ( my Dr was like that and he was great) , others like the 'warm ,fuzzy, reassuring ' approach :)

xx

Thanks Jeanette xx