General Chat

The experience Dizzie Lizzie has given has reminded me of something.

I was going to visit my mum and had to get a bus from town. I had my then 10 month old son, who could stand but not yet walk, with me and at that time you had to fold the pram down and lift it onto the bus. When I arrived at the bus stop it was empty but over the next twenty to twenty five minute other people began to arrive, all of them senior citizens and all women. Then the bus arrived and they all rushed forward to get on barging each other in an effort to get on first. Not one of them acknowledged that I had been there first and therefore was technically at the front of the queue.

I well remember when the Sex Discrimination Act was brought in in 1975. Within just one year attitudes between men and women changed dramatically.

One of the big trade offs was that women could no longer expect to receive preferential treatment so no question of standing up when a woman walked in of boarded the bus. To do so would have technically been illegal was it not?

I worked in a bank at the time and suddenly the girls were expected to tote heavy bags of coin, whereas previously, this would have been unheard of. I remember we did agree to hold the door open whist they struggled through, just to get them used to the idea of being equal.

On the other side they got equal pay for equal work.

My mum, now nearly 90 is one of the worst when it comes to manners. She pushes to the front of the bus queue and expects every one to stand aside for her.

She even had the temerity to complain that there were too many school children on the 3:45 bus service, as she had to fight for a seat.

Sadly, things have changed for the worse. You have only to look at the way youngsters demand all the time, rather than ask. Perhaps this is our fault in the way that we interact.

If you order a child all the time, do this, do that , then don't be surprised when they demand "give me chocolate", rather than "may I please have a chocolate"

and... say Thank you afterwards?

I can remember a dear old Gentleman who lived in our road, he always doffed his hat when he saw me, and it made me feel real good.

Nowadays ,even in Church, the young men are putting their feet up on the chairs in front of them, dirty shoes going all over our clothes.

As for opening doors, when someone does this for me, I give them a lovely smile and say thank you.

Mo

When my G/son was young .he asked me .Why did i always say thank you when i got my ticket on a bus or when i got off or other times ,My reply for my Parents .He asked Why your Parents .My Reply .Because they bought me up with Manners . Rember It can be a Habit with us Elders .Robert

Just because Women Voted for Equality,it does,nt mean you have to forget your Natural Good Manners and Politeness,or inborn instincts to them.**M**.

I work with children as young as 4 and unfortunatley i have noticed over the years ,the attitude of both parents and the child is becoming worse.No Manners, ,no Disiplin, and especially the boys have no respect for the girls even at that age,They only learn what they see and hear at home.So how are they ever to become real gentleman. There are still some good ones around thanfully I have one.Unfortunatley we did vote for Equality.
Moaning Minnie.

Women wanted equality ,or was it just on their terms .? Robert

Dear All

Hello

Oh yes, Julie Ann, my grandmother was a stickler for the rules that you mention. Not half!

Dear Mr Old Geezer, what a gentleman!

Thank you all very much for the replies. Its really interesting to read peoples views and their experiences.

Take care of yourselves
Very best wishes to all
xx

im like you elizabeth, i think and often say loudly, argh chivelry dead then?

if a bloke really irritates me by pusshing past, or something simular,
i was always brought up that a guy walked on outside of you,
or youd walk past a child or elderly lady on the outside so as not to force them toward the road,
or youd give way to someone ,

i always found forces guys were gentlemen while in married quaters, or living around them,

Yes and also remove their hat. sex has nothing to do with it, it common curtesy, good manners and of course the way your parents raised you.To people of my age it is the norm.**M**.

My daughter, then in her teens, told me off once - for barging a 10 year old out of my way!
We were catching a bus for a journey over an hour long. A double decker turned up - and I still love sitting on the front left seat on the top deck!
I was paying my fare when a child behind in the queue got on to 'find a seat' while her parent stayed in the queue.
She headed for the stairs - and I rushed in front of her.......

Well I was in the queue first!!

Daughter shamed me into sitting in the seat behind the front one, despite my protestations that the young girl had more years left to sit in the front seat than me :-(

Whilst stood at the bus stop on Friday (for a busthat didn't turn up), i watched a group of lads in 'hoodies' leaning against the wall, attempting to look 'hard'.
Then I noticed a blind lad - about the same age - get off the bus and manouvre his way, with a long stick with ball on the end, to the entrance of the bus station - which meant passing these 'hoodies' - he was also using the wall as his guide.
As he approached nothing happened. Then, in one movement, all the 'hoodies' moved away from the wall, let him go by, then resumed ther positions - looking harder than ever!!!

Aaah I thought - despite their look & attitude - they were brought up properly!! LOL

Have to admit, if I come across 'youth ' taking up the pavement an 'excuse me' usually has them moving out of the way, whereas older people..........

Do you believe that when a man is introduced to a woman he should stand up as a form of courtesy?

- Yup. I believe that anyone who is introduced to anyone should stand up. It is rude for anyone to remain seated when being introduced to someone who is standing.

And do you think that a man should give up his seat on the bus for a women?

- Nope. Not unless the woman is plainly pregnant or is old enough to have difficulty standing on a moving vehicle, or has a young child, or is otherwise obviously in more need of a seat than someone else who has a seat. Of course, a seated woman should offer her seat to a man in similar circumstances ... and a man to a man, and a woman to a woman ...


Never understood why manners would have anything to do with the sex of the individuals in a situation, myself. Or why it would ever be considered good manners to treat other people in a particular way based on their sex, or any other irrelevant characteristic.

I had a wonderful conversation the other day when we kept holding a door open for eachother.I held if for her and then she held it for me lol.She said "Aren't we polite" .......I said yes ,it is because we are English" She said " you are quite right ...we even queue to be polite .That would not happen in another country lol

I like to think i have good manners and that my children and Grandchildren do too. Among the young it is mixed but I think there are more well mannered than bad. I also think they are better mannered if they are on their own, no peers to impress. One thing that annoys me is the person who sits in the elderly/disabled seat on the bus and doesn't get up when they are needed. And this is quite often a man in his 30s/40s. And I have to say that is anyone is going to let a door slam back in my face it is usually a female round about my age (69).

You either have good manners or not .......I like to think I have.....(not blowing my own trumpet or anything),but I was brought up knowing what good manners were ,and it has stuck ,and I hope I have passed that on to my children too...........It's not too difficult to be good mannered .

Yes, manners are lacking in some but not all. It's not just in young people either, I've experienced good and bad manners in people of all ages.

I wouldn't expect a man to give up his seat for me on a bus just because I'm female nor would I expect one to stand up just because I walk into a room.

I would give up my seat on the bus to anyone who needed it without a thought, but this manners in youngers has got me thinking. I have brought my three daughters up with very good manners (all the same way) they all have chilren of their own, but the middle daughter is very lapse with her daughters manners.

Hi Elizabeth i was brought up with manners always to say please and thankyou and hold the door open for someone i always give up my seat for an elderley or pregnant women i think its the way you are brought up by your parents whether you have manners or not

I would give up my seat for a man or woman if I thought I was taking up a seat that someone else really needed.Hold a door open for someone ,let someone go in front of me me in a queue if they only have a couple of things.
I hope that doesn't make me sound too smarmy ..........cos I'm not .........I just have good manners lol