General Chat

I always thought that Paedophilia was about control and power, I know these are not the first women paedos to be brought to justice but there is something very shocking about it .


There is a piece on the BBC news site about a Doctor who has said why the likes of that witch George wont name her victims one she is still the one in control and attention seeking her, she gets attention whilst she is being contantly asked.

It really gets on my tits that so many people seem to think it's more natural for a man to be a paedophile than a woman.

Women are just as capable of extremes of behaviour , of sexual abuse, of taking pleasure from cruelty , as men.... there were women guards in all the concentration camps after all... being a woman is no guarantee of being a 'nurturer' ...and the underlying 'reason' for the crime be that sexual gratification or power is the same .

I don't know why that is Uggers because logically it makes no sense..i I know that on one level...but I have to admit to feeling that for a MOTHER to do such a thing is far far worse than a man or a father and I can't explain why I feel like that I just do xx

We've recently had a case where a child-care worker was charged with abusing little ones in her care. The worse thing is she refuses to say which children she abused so all the parents are left wondering.

Uggers I don't know what the statistics are but certainly it is appearing that there are a large number of woman paedophiles.

Sue xx

Uggers I know where you are coming from,,but the percentage is far greater in cases of men than in women ,it just appears more shockable when women are involved,,,,,but regardless, these people havnt an iota of the ruined lives they leave in their wake...those that remain not caught have no comprehension they do any wrong.

An overly interest in any child by any person known or unknown needs to be assessed.imo

maybe cause we are women Uggers as I think its seem so unnatural to us, I dont know you guys may feel the same way as guys being peodos.....but when it a women more women say they are more shocked if that makes any sense .

*Agrees with Uggers and Rose*

Can I just say I dont think its more natrual for I think the whole thing is very unnatrual ...it does shock me more when its a women.

I tend to agree with Uggers,

it seems that men get caught more easily because they are not as devious as some of these women miscreants....

also seems like its because a bloke is nice to children he HAS to be a pervert.......
Bob

Uggers,

Agreed!

Muffy,

I know your point entirely. As a Mum I cant see how anyone would concieve of abusing a child, especially a mother.

However this is why women are less likely to be caught because as a world we find it hard to believe a woman/mother could do such a thing!

From experience I know women/mothers are often complicit in abuse if not the abuser.

love T.x

When my daughter was younger (now 15) all of the local kids used to call for my OH (eternal Peter Pan) to see if he was "coming out to play"..... used to mend bikes and build go-karts etc and play computer games..... second childhood probably (apart from computer games). It was not unusual to have anything upto 12 kids in our home. They all used to go berry picking with him and I had to make loads of pies to take home to Mum. They all helped to make the pastry.... never seen such a mucky mess. lol.

Even today, these children, now young adults, and their parents talk about these happy times.

It only took one comment and everything had to stop. What a sad state of affairs. Men have to be so careful these days..... so sad. .

Have to agree though, male or female, if they abuse children then they should be locked up, even worse is if the "people" are in a position of trust
x

Oh Libby,

how true!!

My Uncle is like a grandad to my kids.............they dont have their own anymore..

MANY people think its ''unusual'' for a bachelor of nearly 70 to be interested in his grandneices/nephews but he really is so good to them.

Like a proper grandad he spoils them but ''society'' makes it awkward for him to take them away for trips like he did for us as kids and many of my cousins. Its their (and his) and certainlymy loss.

love T.

I just comprehend how ANYONE could be so disgusting to do anything like this to an innocent child.
I pray to God these children are too young to remember all this when they are older, and are given the chance to lead normal lives.

My feeling go out to all these children, and the partners and children of the perpetrators.

I haven't read the article, but I've been reading all of these posts and I would say that the mother of 8 is probably doing what she does for MONEY! Some people will do anything for MONEY - and/or to KEEP A MAN! If he says 'jump', she says 'how high?'.

You can bet your life that one or both of these are involved - but I still don't know how they can be like that! It makes me sick to think about it.

As a child I was the victim of an horrendous sexual asault by religious fundamentalists that left my genitals hideously mutilated and utterly destroyed my relationship with my parents. It took years of plastic surgery and councelling to effect any sort of recovery.
But for some reason our society fnds the forced circumcision of babies and children quite acceptable. We think its ok to amputate part of a childs genitals, film it even and make a party of it. The moral issues around child abuse and basic human rights to genital integrity suddenly count for nothing.
Speaking as a father I'm proud that I told the people involved exactly what I thought and where to get off when they came for my son.

Women are often the *procurers* of these poor children....children will instinctly trust a woman more than a man... especially a stranger!! That is OUR fault.... we say *don't talk to strange men* and stuff like that.... our suspicions are more frequently aroused by men acting in a way that we would accept from women as *normal* behaviour around children.

It is wrong, but we can't help it... we have been *programmed* that way by our upbringing and social culture.

Our laws were also complicit in this....... it is comparatively recently that they were changed.

We had the anomaly a few short years ago that rape within a marriage was not possible..... there was a certificate giving permission, wives did not have the right to say no.

Children were to be seen, and not heard.... child victims of sexual abuse only started to be listened to and believed in the 1980's, no-one believed them unless they were murdered, or the abuse involved kidnapping and abuse by a stranger. If family were involved, or those charged with the care of that child.... then very often the child was labelled *provocative* or a liar.

The tariff of punishments for the rare, convicted abusers was very weird. Raping a woman or female child was one tariff.

Some abuse was considered less, on a girl.

A boy couldn't be *raped*. But the tariff for sodomy with a boy was far greater than that for raping or sodomising a girl.

Amongst older judges, I really believe that they haven't got their head around the new legislation!

Plus.... when folk say.... I never abused a child, I just looked at pictures..... they actually believe that! And so do many of the ordinary folk who would never dream of doing such a thing.

But if someone looks at one photo, and doesn't report it.... They are complicit in the abuse of that child or person......

A child was abused... a real live living child, to get that photo.

I was one of the people who helped put the lives and emotions back together of some of the most horrifically abused children.... one of whom had a parent who was abused by a very well known paedophile.

I am sorry if anyone finds my graphic use of language unacceptable... but it is all over the very newspapers, news reports, and internet reports.... and if we are to make a comment... we should also know some of the background and social *hang ups* that allow people to get away with this perverted and disgusting behaviour.

I'll delete and add it elsewhere if you wish, Hayley...... although I suspect that someone with delicate sensibilities will have a finger on the RR button now.

Where things like this are concerned.... I have a strong belief that not wanting to face the brutal reality of what actually happens to these children in part lessens the impact it for us.... this is why we are all afraid to interfere.... and I include myself in this!

Love, and (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for anyone reading this who has been affected, or has had a loved one affected by any of the things I have raised... be strong, the fact that you are reading this means that you are so strong... you have survived. And people care about you. xxxxxx

Love

Daff xxxx

A very strong post Daff - and well said. We are unfortunately a society that hurts our most vulnerable and we don't like to talk about it too much nor face the consequences of what these dreadful people do. It needs to be talked about openly and children need to be taught that they are not weak nor voiceless. They can say no when asked to give someone a kiss and cuddle and they don't have to be afraid to listen to their instincts when they feel that something is not right. We should all be responsible as a community for the protection of our children and not be quite so worried about invading someone's privacy.

Sue xx

It should stay and so will the thread Daff due to the sensitive natrure of the subject I will remove the thread is requested to do so.


As much as I hate the subject lets face it no one wants to discuss this sort of thing do we, however I think over the years by things that reported in the press and TV programmes we are able to identifie much more than we (I) did 20 years ago or so, as you say Daff we were programed never to speak to strange men or peados wore dirty old macs thats not the case, I remember reading about a missing girl in the 80's who was about 11 and I asked my mother, if the man who had taken her wanted her for sex why couldnt he just pay a positute to have and sex with her?

Thank you, Sue ..... I find it difficult to listen to people who say to a reluctant toddler or child.... *go on, give so and so a kiss/cuddle/sit on their lap/* where that behaviour is concerned.... a little one should be allowed to *get away with it* as you are forcing the child to accept a closeness and embrace that he or she doesn't want.

The greatest gift in the world is a child's kiss or hug, freely and innocently given....

My older granddaughter is very shy... much as I want to hug and kiss her when we get to see her (they live away) I know that given an hour or so, she will bring me a book, and clamber up next to me for a story.... very soon, she is all over me, hugged in, curled into me... but at her own pace, so much more precious!! and when the story is finished.... I get my first kiss, lolol

Love

Daff xxxxx