General Chat

..............................................................judge our ancestors by our standards? I'm sure we all have ancestors who have done things that we wouldn't consider these days but were they wrong given the circumstances they lived in?

Sue xx

when i was little i didnt like my nana
i thought her very strange and harsh
she died when i was 9
and i remember thinking at the time i wont miss her
after doing my tree i have found out things about her life
really sad stuff

i now feel very sorry for her

My Grandmother was picked out of her seven sisters for marriage to a comparative stranger. She had no alternative but to obey her father's wishes even though she loved someone else. It was the custom in the west of Ireland at that time. I often think of her. BCXX

I have a similar issue with my G Grandfather.......sounds like he was an absolute swine......don't know of any mitigating circumstances... but as a result I don't research his family as often as I should because of the first hand character accounts I've had about him xx

If we are to be rational about this then we can't possibly judge by present day standards - laws and social rules develop from what is considered to be socially acceptable at the time.
My mother had an illegitimate child in 1968 which at that time was still frowned upon. My own son was "born out of wedlock" in 1986 which was very common at that time but to discover that my grandmother, born 1908 was illegitimate was a total shock to me.
I was watching Antiques Roadshow earlier tonight and there was a ships log of people transported to Australia for what we would now consider to be trivial crimes (probably an ASBO these days). If we bear in mind that there was not always a welfare benefit system ( apart from the workhouse) then it becomes easier to understand why people stole to feed their families and why women would marry anyone who'd have them to put a meal on the table.
Trouble is it's not always that easy to be rational is it?

I found out the other day that one of my ancestors put his two youngest children onto a farm where they were working at the age of 9 and 10 years old. He and his wife had a huge family and I realise now that they probably couldn't take care of them. At least on the farm they could possibly have been reasonably well fed.

Sue xx

Morning Sue and all.............

our ancestors........we cant judge them, they lived their lives as they could then........at their time they did their thing like we are doing now I guess

they did the best they could with what they had

Legend has it that my greatgrand mother married her second husband after she was widowed young with 3 young children....no she wasnt and no she didnt but she did leave her eldest child in the work house for what reasons I dont know...

Difficult Sue - my one great grandmother was a bit of a harsh character and the more I learn about her past the more I can see why - which I think I'd do with anyone from any time. But then I also know that she didn't do the best for her kids and they could have done with getting more from her - that's a shame whatever time you're looking at.

My gg grandfather remarried a widow within 6 months of my gg grandmother dying leaving him with 3 small children. His new wife had been a widow for 8 months and had 2 little boys. I used to wonder how they could remarry so quickly but then I thought about how there was no help for a widowed woman with 2 children and how would my gg grandfather manage to work and look after 3 children. It made sense to remarry quickly. His step-son lived with him until his death.

Sue xx

Uggers I think we can understand our ancestors doing their best in harsh times. I'm in touch with a rellie who told me that our great grandmother told his grandfather that instead of sending her photos of him in his army band uniform to send money. Apparently she had my great grandfather put into a lunatic asylum for what was probably dementia and then promptly put her two youngest children into an Industrial School and they never lived with her again. I think she was probably a tough Yorkshire woman.

Sue xx

I dont give it any thought,,,,,,they were as they were and but for them I as this person wouldnt be here,
some had a very colourful life which makes good insight into what kind of people they were and what has rubbed off down in the families......

must be in the Genes,:}}}}

Difficult question in many ways. How many of us were told at school that the Victorians were very 'straight laced' - many of us now know that it was an image. So many of us have found out that grandparents and great grandparents were conceived or born out of wedlock - it almost seems more 'normal' than those conceived after marriage!
There is the niggling thought that a man would like to know his potential wife could conceive before marrying her - hence the number of firstborn born 'early' - or was that an older version of 'come up & see my etchings'? LOL

Ny g g grandfather's brother (aged 18) was in Aylesbury prison the same year my gg grandfather became a Metropolitan Policeman. I thought he had maybe been caught poaching trying to feed his family - WRONG!

He had tried to derail a train so he could thieve from it. Not only that - he wasn't living at home (thrown out by his parents?) but was still in the same village.
Reading the report in the newspaper he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box - and was a mouthy thug - possibly a 'hoodie' nowadays.
Despite his crime, which if it had succeeded, would have been murder, he only got 2 years in prison.
Obviously not his parents favourite anyway!
No, even by today's standards - he was a bad'un.

I HAVE RICH,AN FAMOUS,,BUT BY FAR I ADMIRE MY AG LABS
SHEPHERDS NAVVYS AND THE ONES WHO COULDNT READ OR WRITE

I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT WE HAVE A COUPLE OF MUDERERS
THEIVES BUT I STILL ADMIRE THE FACT THEY SURVIVED HARD TIMES

MY GGRAN ON DADS SIDE WAS A STERN BATTLE AXE
SO MY COUSINS SAY
BUT THEY DIDNT REALISE TILL I FOUND OUT SHE WAS LIVING FOR 30YRS
WITH ANOTHER MAN LOL

Further to my previous thread.
G gran had 10 children out of wedlock. The 11th was born when g gran was 48 and ggrandad was 62!!

My gran met, and started going out with my grandad within 3 weeks of his wife dying. G gran (with the 10 children born out of wedlock) was horrified,

In the year gran and grandad were courting, gran had at least 3 'near misses'/scares!! LOL

How do I know this? I have their letters!
Certainly see gran in a different light now - in her own words (though never said about herself) 'No better than she should be'. Certainly no different from any teenager/young woman through the ages.

My Great great Grandmother lay dying and she extracted a promise from a friend that she would look after her six children. The woman found it impossible to refuse the dying woman's request. She looked after the children and my Great great grandfather noticed that she did it well and he pointed out that the best way to keep her promise would be to marry him. She had no wish to marry a man that was years older than herself but she agreed and they were married 5 months later. The second wife had 11 children to him. He is known in NZ history books as being a bit of a villain - ran a boarding house and charged a huge rent. A hard and intolerant North of Ireland man, very narrow in his out look. I am indebted to his second wife as she raised my Great grandmother who was two when her mum died and by all accounts she turned out to be a very lovely lady.
Norma

What interesting stories have come out of this thread. Thank you:-)

Sue xx