General Chat

goldielocks, maybe you need to tell us the whole story first. I got the impression that you had been in close contact with your dad before he died, and that you had had a good relationship with him. Now it seems that you hadn't.

Now you've explained it, it does seem that he might well have said that. Maybe because the guilt was too much, or because whatever caused the breakdown between your mum and him was too painful? Who knows?

But..his wife may be the contactable next of kin, but you are his blood kin...no law can change that anywhere.

Morning all, First of all Iam NOT classed next of kin.His wife is.No I didn't check on his will, Because I later found out,how he really thought about his first family. I went on a cruise,with abunch of girls,(Melbourn Cup) and you find people from all over on the ship,always meeting people.Well they say things happen for a reason! I was sitting at a table,when a couple shared the same table,we talked as you do,And I could not believe it when she told me that they came from the same small country town as my Dad.She informed me that ,no one knew in the town,that my Dad had been married before or had other kids,I set the story straight, And guess what,what a blessing !,she was the only hairdresser,in town.Gossip.
I just think that my father wanted a new life,new start and you knows how it goes..OUT OF SIGHT,OUT OF MIND.

I agree with Shirley, it may well have been your fathers wish that you did not make that long journey to see him buried. He must have known you couldnt afford it. It may be that she was too upset to think straight when she filled in the forms. I know my stepmother was devastated when my Dad died.

There is no excuse for her behavoir....you was his daughter wether she liked it or not, I would questioned why your dad didnt want you there...I am a step mother, no why would I say to my stepchild...

If you are older than your step brothers, if your Step Mother dies you will be next of kin.

WELL my initial reaction was that step mom wanted to keep it all to herself and their family and maybe she thought you would want something of dad that she wasnt willing to give. Later reflection was that it wasnt sinister and Dad may have said i dont want daughter to make the trip just to come to my funeral and this got distorted so you may have thought you weren't welcome.
I really think you need to talk to her and clear the air ,ask what her problem is ?? or why dad may have said he didnt want you to come to his funeral.Stress that you aren't a threat to her household set up and you would like to stay in touch with her and her sons who are related to you as well

I agree you are next of kin and I assume you can prove that .........BUT also it is a criminal offence to give faulse information .........and she has ...if she lived with the grandmother for two years you probably could prove this to

goldielocks, I know you've signed off for the night now, but you said earlier only the next of kin can amend the cert. He was your dad, so that makes you next of kin as much as the rest of them surely?

Goodnight :)

Good night all,Iam off to the blanket show.sweet dreams.Deb

Iam in Oz,Of couse she knew my grandmothers name she lived with her for about 2yrs,but unknown is on the certificate! I dont really think I will be able to do anything without selling my house, I know how you guys feel..I was sooo angry at first,..But now I just think,I know,and I was so lucky to apply for the death certificate,because many people dont,and how many out there wouldn't have a clue what was put on it.

I gather your not in UK?

Surely she knew vital info about your dad when they married as some countires need a supply of infomation on marriage certs.

also if you can prove lots of things were known to his wife but its been a delibrate act to with held it,,then you may stand a chance of getting someting done?

"OH well people dont,what can you do?"

Just because it's happening doesn't mean we should put up with it.....people need to challenge things that aren't right.

srs.. you are right,Iam stubon,I spoke to BDM and was told that you could put what ever you like on the certificate,My response was .Its a legal document,by law you are to put the truth.His response.OH well people dont,what can you do? So unless we are aware of this happening,our history can be lost. Iam sure other members have gone through it..

Could you not start a petition on the Government petition website? I'm sure many genealogists would sign up to it. :)

Yes,I could..BUT it would cost alot,as it would have to go to the High Court,and you know how those Barristers like to take their time and charge like a wounded bulls. I have already looked into it.
I have already put a note on the death certificate I have,I made it right for my lot,in the future.

Aren't you cutting off your nose to spite your face? Sorry if that sounds harsh, (I honestly don't mean it to be) but if it's the only way to get the certificate changed and you haven't tried it, isn't it worth it?

Also have you written to the MP where you dad lives to ask why on earth information cannot be received when you've got proof to back it up? What's the point of incorrect or incomplete documents when the evidence is there?

couldnt you get legal advice as to how you stand and what you could do
maybe a letter from solicitor asking her to ammend it would work

No,I have not spoken to her since the phone call...And wont,Too little TOO late.

have you asked her to amend it?