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A bit puzzled

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 7 Jul 2020 17:51

Ann .........
the huge numbers congregating inside and outside pubs, on beaches erc erc was totally illegal, but the police had to ignore it if I understand correctly, as long as there was no unruliness, fights or weapons waved around.

Then they had to take their lives in their hands and try to calm things down.

Can you imagine what would have happened if police had tried to stop all those people out in the streets drinking in London?

There would have murder done .............. of the police, and rioting for days.


The opening was truly badly done.

Blame the powers-that-be.

grannyfranny

grannyfranny Report 7 Jul 2020 13:15

The instruction from the CofE is that Churches are limited in the number they can currently take, so for instance my Church can normally seat at least 250, but with 2m distancing, we can seat minimum 26 (that would be individuals) up to 52, which would include couples or families.

So for a wedding or funeral, there are limits anyway. The 30 attendees would probably be in a number of 'bubbles', so we should be able to accommodate the full 30.

Tawny

Tawny Report 7 Jul 2020 13:08

The Church of Scotland no longer has obey in the marriage vows.

I Tawny now take thee Mr Owl to be my husband.
In the presence of god and before these witnesses
I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal wife to you
until god shall separate us by death.

The men repeat the same vows. We also have the option to affirm where by the minister will say the whole thing in the form of a question and you simply answer I do.

I don’t know when weddings will be allowed to start in Scotland again but like the rest of the UK they will be socially distanced and without any reception.

Island

Island Report 7 Jul 2020 12:50

I don't think it's been very well thought out at all!

"no food or drink"? but pubs are open!

Andysmum

Andysmum Report 7 Jul 2020 12:37

Here is a quote from BBC News about weddings in England. If I understand it correctly, the 30 guests can be anyone but the reception is a lot more restricted.

Venues can only reopen if they can do so safely

Ceremonies should be kept as short as possible

No food or drink should be consumed unless it is essential for the ceremony

Group singing and playing of instruments should be avoided

A maximum of 30 people should attend ceremonies, and only where there is space to socially distance. This includes all guests, the officiant and any staff not employed by the venue, like a photographer

Social distancing of at least one metre between different households should be practised at all times

It is ''strongly advised'' that receptions do not take place afterwards, with only small celebrations of six people outside or two households inside taking place

The venue should keep a temporary record of visitors for 21 days, in case they need to be traced

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Jul 2020 12:25

yes I am sure Island but surely that was to be expected but why say 30 guests and only from 2 families. Does that mean Aunty Flo from Northern England or Leicester) can go to little Jimmy's wedding in Cornwall or does it mean those people all have to come from two houses. Saying two separate families is strange and surely say five family people from one house are not less likely than five non family members to have the virus?

Island

Island Report 7 Jul 2020 12:10

I'm guessing a lot of rule flouting was going on with drinkers Ann - and a blind eye turned.

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 7 Jul 2020 11:39

Another puzzle is, if all those people can socialise for hours in pubs and outside pubs, why are wedding guests limited to 30 which can only be from two families?

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 7 Jul 2020 03:00

We married n 1967, and the vicar asked if if I just wanted to say "love and honour" or did I want to say "obey"

I said I'd promise to love and honour only ;-)

Allan

Allan Report 6 Jul 2020 22:47

I got married in a Ukrainian Catholic Church and the tradition there was for both the Groom and the Bride's father (in this particular case OH's godfather, as her father was deceased) to walk the Bride to the Altar.

All my family must have thought that I had done a runner as I had to await for OH's arrival outside the church :-D

To this day I have no idea what OH promised, or what vows she took, as her part of the ceremony, questions, responses and the like were all done in Ukrainian, whilst mine were in English ;-)

The Registrar seemed happy enough however and issued the Marriage Certificate :-D :-D

I paid for the reception and the cars, OH bought her dress and the bridesmaid dress. It wasn't a big wedding by today's standards on OH's mum was not flush with money

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 6 Jul 2020 22:12

We got married in 1960, my dad walked me down the aisle and I think it was referred to as giving away in those days, we paid for our own wedding as my parents couldn’t afford it and I didn’t say obey either it was in a Baptist church.

grannyfranny

grannyfranny Report 6 Jul 2020 21:23

The bride's father can walk with her only if they live in the same house. Likewise bridesmaids, they would need to be 2 meters apart (in the UK) unless they lived with the bride.

SuffolkVera

SuffolkVera Report 6 Jul 2020 21:04

I’m a bit late coming to this thread but in answer to Island’s post (5.7.20 11.16) I don’t think the bride has had to be “given away” for a long while. There are all sorts of alternative words that can be used and the bride can walk down alone or be accompanied by anyone she chooses.

When I got married back in the dark ages (1963) I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle as it was a support to me and gave him a role to play. However I did have “obey” removed from the “love, honour and obey” bit. I’m not sure if it was a requirement at a church wedding then but I had a very accommodating vicar who accepted my argument that love and honour should cover all that’s needed.

nameslessone

nameslessone Report 6 Jul 2020 17:42

Absolutely agree with Sylvia. There seems to be more of it going on just lately

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 6 Jul 2020 17:38

Island ........ I really agree with you last comment.

Unfortunately there are some who don't agree with us ;-)

and there are others who delete their postings and/or RR opposing views, throw the dummy out of the pram in a paddy, and others who storm off in high dudgeon.

It can be entertaining if you're a watcher, not so much if you're the target.

Island

Island Report 6 Jul 2020 11:45

:-D :-D :-D maggie @ 23:27 - now that would suit!
Great mental image there :-D

Each to their own. If we can't have different views without others getting defensive that's a pretty sad state of affairs.

Dermot

Dermot Report 6 Jul 2020 10:05

'Shotgun' weddings are rarely mentioned these days.

Tawny

Tawny Report 6 Jul 2020 09:14

My parents did pay for my wedding and had one request that my dad was allowed to walk me down the aisle. My dad started saving when I was a little girl as he’s always viewed it as his responsibility even if the rest of us didn’t. My dad told us this is the budget not the target and if it costs any more then you’re paying for it. Which is entirely fair.

My brother and sister in law have postponed their wedding till next year. They were meant to be getting married July 18th. It means hopefully they’ll have the day they want.

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 6 Jul 2020 04:33

I got married so long ago that no-one even thought about male and female dominance, although as I came from a maternal dominant society, dads didn't have much say anyway :-D

It was only just becoming common for grooms to have wedding rings! OH refused a wedding ring, but agreed to have a signet ring as such.

Our daughter got married 21 years ago, and wanted both her dad and myself to walk her down the aisle, the 3 of us arm in arm.

It was a good job we had a wedding rehearsal because that's when we discovered that the door way into the church proper was not wide enough for 3 people abreast. :-D

Daughter and OH had been attending that church for over 20 years, but not noticed that little fact

When everyone in the party, including the vicar, had recovered from their laughter as we got all tangled up, we worked out a way for 3 to get through ............. daughter went first, then waited while OH and I walked through, then we walked down the aisle 3 abreast.

I don't see any domination there!

Everyone is welcome to have their own views on this site, so there's no need for any one to say otherwise! It only leads to unpleasantness!


Although, Island ............... I don't think the majority of "normal" weddings these days do need a large supply of cash, from the parents anyway.

My daughter covered 50% of the cost of her wedding, and we did it for less than $10,000 .............. that included 3 bridesmaids, a church holding a maximum of 120, and a lunch reception for 120, with a string duo playing.

Amazing what you can do when you use student help ............

Students at the local catering college made a traditional English-style wedding cake with 3 layers as practice, and charged about 2/3rds of what the one and only confectioner in town who did the traditional fruit cake.

Two students in the music faculty at the university had a little "business" playing at functions ....... and could call on more students if a bigger group was wanted.

Daughter got her friends to help make the bridesmaid dresses.

and so on.

That was exceptionally cheap, but many of daughters' friends and of our friends have paid most if not all of the cost of their weddings, because people are getting married later here, or after living together for some years, and they actually do not think it fair for the parents to pay the costs for non-dependent daughters.

That's what happened when my sister-in-law's 2 daughters got married. Not sure what happened when her son got married ........... he was actually the only one of the 3 to have a traditional church wedding. Nor did any of them want their mother to conduct the service although she was an Anglican priest. She did walk the 2 girls down the "aisle" in their open air weddings, and their marriages conducted by a Registrar..

My daughter got married at age 25 but had only just finished her Master's degree, so she'd never had a full time job, neither had her husband, who was 27. But she had saved up her pennies from the summer jobs, etc.

But my nephew and nieces had all lived with their partners for some time, were between 27 and 32 years of age, and been in full time employment for between 3 and 6 years.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 5 Jul 2020 23:27

I got married in a register office, with my mum, her husband (not my dad) known as el fascisto', my ex's aunt (his parents were dead) and her best friend - who happened to be Sri Lankan.
My mum and ex's aunt were witnesses - which left 'el fascisto' and the Sri Lankan waiting - together - outside :-D :-D :-D :-D
We still laugh about it!
I hope I'm 'allowed' to still be friends with my ex :-D :-D :-D