General Chat

Today my daughter moved out into a flat on her own.. She has wanted to for a while now says she wants her own space, she is 22, we had a falling out and didn't speak for about 6 weeks. was a lot of tension here, but we have made up, I know it wasn't because of that..but she had got a husky that wasn't to good with it's toilet, so I think she felt it was the best thing to do. She left her with us while she moved it and has just gone..so am feeling down and tearful.. But I'm of over there tomorrow to help unpack.... Do you get used to them not being at home? cor bathroom will stay tidy and I won't have so many towels to wash...!!!! Pat

You DO get used to it, and whats more, you have a better relationship with them too! They can never quite let go ocmpletely, they will be rund for sunday roasts, guaranteed.

Aw, Patricia, I feel for you! You know though, children moving out so somewhere of their own is how it's meant to be and for some reason it's often precipitated by something of a disagreement. I'm sure that soon things will have settled and you will be on more of an even keel, both with yourself and your daughter. x

Chin up Pat - & enjoy your new-found freedom! Angela

Hi Patricia, I know how you feel. All 3 of my daughters had left home although the middle one has since moved back. I keep asking her when is she moving again. lol. It,s amazing how close you become once that 'breathing' space has been acheived though.

Oh Pat bless you, I am dredding the day that my daughters move out, my daughters 22 & 15 are my best friends and we do have our spats but, I secretly dread the day it happens. You will be best friends I promise you....Im sure it will get easier. Im sure you are proud of the fact that your daughter is now grown up and is able to look after herself, look forward to all the phone calls and the unexpected visits and the shopping trips and catching up.

My youngest daughter never showed any inclination to move out and we got on famously, so I didn't mind at all. Unbeknown to me, her eldest sister had a go at her, for 'taking advantage' of me and youngest suddenly announced that she was moving out AND moving 200 miles away. I thought this was her own choice and tho' I was utterly gutted, I pasted a smile on and helped her pack. After she left, I sobbed for a week. That was four years ago, and I doubt if she will ever come back here (no jobs). As I told my eldest, in no uncertain terms, SOME people should mind their own b*****y business! OC

Hi Pat, Both my boys have gone (daughter 23 still here) but they make sure they phone on sunday to ask what's for dinner. LOL It does seem strange not having them home though, I think my hubby misses them most. Teresa

Pat, Yes you do get used to it and you should be proud that you have enabled your daughter to grow and be independent. I have found that they always come back.....make a mess... and go off again! I am sure now that your daughter has her own 'space' she will begin to appreciate all that youi have given her. Best wishes to you both. Beryl x :>))

The empty nest syndrome... I remember it well. It is hard but you do get use to it and eventually even enjoy it. Jean x.

Thankyou all so much . I think I'm worried because she is on her own... she has the rent to pay terrible amount £750 then gas / leccy..plus dog.. She moaned and sometimes never paid £35 a week. so it's going to be a big shock to her.. Also worry as she has suffered with eating disorder a few years ago, went down to 6st, so will have to keep popping over to see if she's had tea!!!!after work..and take some goodies. But I am pround of her, and hopefully as you say enjoy a lovely relationship with her now.. My youngest son is over the moon. he is moving in her room, I've asked him to wait a few days.... Pat

It's natural to feal tearful when they leave home--but you have done an excellent job in enabling her to become independant,rows ,arguments and sulks are all part of it . word of warning--tomorrow whilst helping her unpack,just do the basics,hang curtains etc. DO NOT tell her where to put her stuff,she's on her own now-she will decide in her own time where things live,may not be the ideal place-as far as youare concerned. leave her to be free and know you will be there for her if you are needed.

When I lived at home me and my mum were often at logger heads, it wasn't until I moved out did our relationship get better. Things calmed down and I really began to apprieciate her, she bacame my best friend. When you are not living under the same roof, you both have your own space and when you do see each other you will get on better. Big hugs to you Jackie:o)

I have that to come Pat, A big hug for you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Caz xxxxxxx

Have a look on the cyber bouquet thread.

Hiya Pat (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Bless it does get easier, Lilx

Jackie.. Thankyou......looking at my favourite yellow daffs!!!!!! Love Pat x

Ahhh just thought wonder who she is going to get to do the washing up.....something she has never done....she'll make something and leave everything.. and she'll have to get up and clean up after the dog...... My head is saying she'll be fine.... but heart is being selfish.... Hang onto boys for abit longer... Thanks you all for you support it is so appreicated.. Pat x

It's amazing - even the most untidy and disorganised children often keep their own homes spotless and those who complained that they couldn't afford the smallest amount of board payments to their parents, pay their bills with no problem! :-)