General Chat

Tiddler has this fear of going to bed wants someone with her all the time, wants light on and tele. I went out tonight to pick laddo up and she screamed the whole time as she thinks if we leave her we wont come back. She doesn't have her own room has to sleep in our room. Any ideas how to get our evenings back

difficult one this dawnie, supernanny? Feel for you though never had this prob, but I know some of my friends have. Have you had a look on the internet for any ideas? Have you asked her what makes her feel scared? catherine xx

i cant suggest much dawn sadly our girl stayed with us till she was 4 going on 5 only stayed in her own room cos son was due at time and not much room in bed, she had ritual that drove me scatty, everynight id put her to bed shed say good night see yo in morning, i will see you in the morning wont i, me - yeh see you in morning, her - night mum if you strayed off the five sentences shed repeat it till you answered,

Catherine/Julie first it was monsters in the wardrobe so we shooed them away and she settled for a few weeks now its a fear of us not being there. She started in our bed then will move to her bed but if I leave the room before shes asleep she starts again

oh not nice dawnie poor lamb-This is what happened to my friend had to lie beside her daughter and hold her hand till she fell asleep. She was pregnant with the twins at the time and the doc went mad at her lying on the floor next to the bed. Don't know how she got out of it in the end but I can ask her for you! Have your tried one of those monitors where you can speak into it and she can hear you upstairs.? catherine xx

Dawnie I am in this position with my 7 year old, he is in bed with me every night and wont go in his room on the top floor with brothers. I have given in while Graemes not been here as I'm so tired, I wish I could help but I do understand, caz xxxx It is exhausting isnt it?

What about staying with her quietly until shes asleep and get a night light (one of those plug things) And plenty of praise for being a good girl when she stays put.

not tried anything yet just getting to end of wick now

its probably graeme away they pick up on it , people say they dont know but they do they are clever little people these kids when OH used to go away thats when mine was worse , tantrums, play me up, it were him that got her to stay in her bed

Jean, did wonder wether to get a disney one for her but she even has the side light on not main one and wont sleep. Caz - heartbreaking when you have to go out and shes screaming for you, I came in with laddo tonight and hubby went out to take Lynns daughter home as she would of been even worse if I had done that as well

Brenda we always read her at least one story and woe betide if we skip a page or say the story wrong lol. Julie that was me when dad was a way used to play mum up something rotten, suppose tiddler is getting me back for what I did to my mum

i dont know what it must be with your little one tiddler dawn she must be just in that habit they get in, it doesnt help you with your pain though

Wait a minute, putting on my Nanny Hat. Overhead light off, bedside lamp on, television off, soft music or story tape or CD on, tell her you will be back before music stops/story finishes, leaving her with a soft toy, who wants to listen & needs her.(You may have to sit & record your voice telling the story) Hopefully she will be asleep when you go back, but do not leave it too long for the first few visits. If this works, start tape/CD farther in, reduce wattage of bulb, but never leave her in darkness.

Have you tried giving her a comforter that has your 'smell' on it.(not being rude here) but maybe if she had an item of your clothing that she could have with her, it might allay her fears, and help her to think that you were still close to her Good luck Kath

Dawn, I had exactly the same thing with my youngest - 15 now. Each night i lay on the end of her bed and held her foot - so she knew i was there! Sometimes i was so tired i actually fell asleep and i found that as i relaxed she did too. Gradually bedtimes stopped becoming such a battle, and as she realised i wasnt going to escape at the first oppurtunity she fell asleep fairly quickly. It took a while, but she never had any more problems sleeping. My doctor told me to leave her to cry, but i couldnt. Sometimes they just need some extra reassurance. Elaine x.

They get so insecure and we dont even know why, my eldest was the same and I tried all the techniques which eventually worked, but I was younger, only had 2 and less stress! Good luck and hugs dawnie, caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks ladies. She doesn't have the overhead light on but likes the ceiling fan on where is anybodies guess. Will have to get a tape machine moved in there sure son still has some story tapes hanging around if not will buy her some. She plays with the edge of the pillowcase so maybe ought to get a spare one and lie with it tonight.

I found nice soft music, and a little night light worked a treat-hope you sort this soon-is she afriad of something-the ticking of a clock is soothing as well, keeps the heart beat regular old wife's tale I know but believe it.

Jennifer apart from the monsters we got rid of she hasnt said anything apart from I want you and your not coming back

From watching SuperNanny..... Story/whatever as usual, then a firm goodnight. When she starts, go into the room but do not pick her up, ask what is wrong, say goodnight, it is going to sleep time now. If she carries on, stay in the room with her but do not make eye contact. EVENTUALLY she will fall asleep. Well, that's the THEORY - but it might take some nerve to carry it through! the idea is to make your return to her room as boring as it can possibly be - at the moment she is getting exactly what she wants, which is your undivided attention! OC