General Chat

Thought that I would lighten up the board a bit and start a thread about the wonderful world of kids. Got the idead from my post 'My son makes me cry'. Post your messages of Happy Birthdays, Birth Storys, first day at school, the funny comments that the children in your life make and all the other joys etc that go hand in hand.

Ok, I'll go first, just a small one...... When my daughter started to talk, we would ask her what her name was, she would say "Holly Liver-breath Grace Fivash" OH BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Her name is Holly Elizabeth Grace by the way ;) )

We were watching the D-Day events on tell when my Grandaughter asked her Dad "Is D-Day that thing you wash your bum in" Kids are wonderfull

hi stacey I was at my freinds the other day and she was trying to mend her dinning room table are other freinds little boy was also there, ''He said how are you going to mend it'' , she replied ''with great difficulty'' he then asked '' And where do we get one of them from''. It sounded funny when you heard him tracy

Watching the weather report one day the weather man said"Today it's going to be very cold indeed", my granddaughter turned round and said "Nana, where's deed?"

when my son was 3 i gave him spaghetti bolognese mum why do you feed us mud and worms sandra

This one goes back many years but is still funny in its way. My brother was 5 years old, and Michael - his best friend - was just 5 days younger! One day they had one of their regular 'spats', and Michael shouted out "well, you'll be dead before me". It was comical at the time anyway.

One day when my son was about 4 we were walking along back from the shops and quite out of the blue he asked "Mum, when you have a baby, do you have to take your knickers off?" To which the only reply was "Yes, it's a good idea!" He's obviously sex-obsessed because when he was a little older I heard him telling his younger brother the facts of life "Mummies have eggs in their tummys and daddies have seeds in their tentacles!" Helen

We live near the soldiers barracks, Gurkhas are based there, the children go to our school and my lad Luke said one day "some of the children in my class have dark faces - they are called Gurglers". I shall remind him of that when he's a strapping 16 yr old Julie

Here's another. On my oldest daughters first week at school she asked me " mammy whats a shepherd". I replied," it's a man who looks after sheep" She then said "well I'm glad I don't stay for school dinners 'cause they had him in a pie today"

the other day i came downstairs after getting ready to go out and my 3yr old son said "you look beautiful mummy" i said thank you darling i really love you, to which he replied shall we get married then, i tried to explain why we couldn't because he is my son, to which he relpied "and i'm a kid". how sweet they can be at that age, its a shame they grow into teenagers. :-) penny

When my daughter was little (long time ago) I used to get a tennis magazine from W.H.Smiths in the station, she used to hate it because the steam trains made such a loud noise. One night listening to her saying her prayers, I realised she was saying " lead me not to the station" instead of "lead me not into temptation" I must have been a cruel mother!

when my daughter was younger we had a lab dog who she use to sneak in the room under the table when we were eating(it was the only time the dog wasnt allowed in the room)anyway one day we caught her giving the dog roast potatoes under the table,we asked her what she was doing she said "i dont like gravy so becki is taking it off for me" we explained the dog was eating the potato as well so she looked under the table and told the dog "just the gravy i want the potato". another time when i did shepherds pie dad came home and asked joking where did you get the shepherds from, i told him i nipped over to france for them, it took ages to get the children to eat the pie didnt help with dad saying i sneaked up behind them and bashed them for pie making.

What a laugh, I think it is waht we all needed!

Me and my daughter Isobel aged 3 were watching the very noisy firework display through the window "Blimey"i said "it sounds just like Beiruit out there" A bit later she was watching them with her daddy when she told him "Daddy,it's like Bagroot out there!!!" Carole.

When I was having my 3rd baby,just before going to hospital the phone rang. I couldn't get to it as I was having a painful contraction. My (then) 7yr old daughter answered it saying "Mummy can't come just now she's having a CONTRAPTION!!!! Another time, I had bought a big cabbage as it was so large, I halved it and put one piece onto cook and left the other half lying on the chopping board. I popped out with the dog and got chatting to a neighbour. Worrying that the cabbage would boil dry, I called to my son, who was about 11 at the time, to pour more water onto the cabbage. Imagine my shock when I found the kitchen floor drenched. Yes you've guessed it, he'd poured it over the half on the chopping board! (And this from a lad who went on to have 8 standard grades and 3 highers!!!) LOL Christine

When my son was just old enough to learn to stand up at the loo he asked 'What are these things down here?" I explained that when he got older that it was where he would keep his baby seeds (well he was young). A couple of days later he said "Mum, you know these things where I keep the baby seed - when the seeds come out do these fall off?" Ouch!! That was one of the many funny things he said, now for one of the daft things he did :-))) Many years later when the rigours of early teens meant he had to stay in bed until lunchtime (!) my husband and I came back from shopping to find the kitchen looking like a bomb had hit it. "Made yourself breakfast?" I asked. "Yeah I had a bacon and lettuce sandwich". "Was it nice?" "The lettuce was a bit tough" I went to the fridge a little puzzled and said "You know you said that the lettuce was a bit tough?" "Yeah" "That's because it was spring cabbage!" It still makes me smile and he's 30 now! He emigrated to New Zealand last August (what a beautiful country!!) and we miss him like mad.

My son David was always coming out with funny comments, but my favourite has to be at a big family get-together when he was 3 or 4, one of the older distant relatives asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and at the top of his voice, as only a child can he announced he wanted to be a criminal!!!! As i was fairly recently divorced there were quite a few muttering among certain members of the family. Blushing like mad i asked him why he wanted to be a criminal as it wasnt very nice. His reply........but Mummy, i like making people laugh............. He had meant to say a comedian, lol. Boy was i relieved, and although at 17 now he has changed his ambition, he does still make me smile on a daily basis. Yvette

Hi Donna, My grandad did the same thing to me! When he got home he said to my gran that he had a great time at the park etc. He didnt know that the shop keeper had taken me back hours ago! He left me outside the paper shop and went off to the pub! He soon sobered up when my gran wacked him! My family never let me forget that story!

I've had such a laugh reading this board - thanks Stacey! And Donna and Stacey, it happened to me as well .... my mum left me outside Woolworths in my pram and got quite a way along when she looked at the shopping in her hands and thought 'I'm sure I had something else' - yes, me!! Luckily I was still there when she got back LOL My son has always been interested in science and nature, and used to watch a video in the mornings while myself and hubby were getting ready. One day he shouted up the stairs 'Mum, what's a dickhead?' He was about 4 or 5 at the time, so great panic set in! I asked him to repeat it, so he did, then I asked which video he had on 'My whale video'. Still very confused, we rushed downstairs and rewound the video to hear a lady commentator with a very strong Australian accent saying how many 'whales were slaughtered in a decade' (go on, try it with an Aus accent) LOL