General Chat

Allan, being the gallant chap that he is, gave his wife a gentle nudge up into the cab of the vehicle and hurled himself in the back and tried to use the suitcase as a barrier between himself and the other occupants.

Oh how he wished he had chosen the non canvas brand of case, as flowing towards him as they climbed the next rise in the road, there poured a steady flow of steaming liquid.

How lucky that Allan was wearing the most amazing footwear.........................

Hiking boots she said well I told her you can't beat good old whellies in times like this....


then there was a loud scream from the cab......

The truck pulled over and asked OH what the matter was she replied I've left my survival kit at home, how will I manage without my lippy."

Allan, meanwhile, had more pressing things to worry about, -like staying upright in the fast flooding deluge at the rear of the truck.

The suitcase was fast changing colour as it soaked up much of the stream flowing towards Allan. He didn't know whether to be pleased that it stemmed the flow or worried that there would be very limited dry clothes to share between them.

However, he knew he must keep OH happy, so decided the only course of action was..........

jump off the truck and leg it!

As he tried to climb over the edge ........

he slipped in the sludge and mangled his neeps on the side of the truck. It was the first time he had seen his wife laugh in weeks.

Muttering to himself, in a high-pitched style of mutter, he slithered off the truck and with his case......

...dripping God knows what all along the road he tried to leg it to the bush.
Who knew his neeps would affect his running so much and who knew his OH would laugh so loudly AND film it.

Here we go again he thought I'll be a YouTube hit for the millionth time....Allen tries to Limbo dance...Allan tries to bungee jump....Allan tries to........

look on the bright side, which is nigh on impossible when you're covered in sludge and have an odour exuding off you in palpable green waves.

Still, he thought to himself, what else could possibly go wrong; all the back luck was behind them now.

Wasn't it?

Yes it was....well for a second anyway.

Allan stumbled into the bush and happened upon a little bubbling brook. The sunshine glittered off the water, the birds sang sweetly in the trees.
Allan jumped in to wash himself. As he hit the water he heard.....

the words of eternal damnation that Brexit was finally put to bed with Theresa May in a single room with a backdrop breakfast included

Wow must have hit that water too hard, first Theresa hits me in the kitchen now she's here talking about Brexit.
Then in the distance he hears OH sweetly saying "Allen sweety where are you honey"....oh yeah I have the tickets she needs me!
Allen went back to the road.......

To discover OH had hitched another ride with a truck full of sheep, and guess where Allan will be sitting

..on the sheeps nuts.....the food...filthy minds....

After what felt like hours they finally arrived at the train station.

The station master looked Allan up and down and....

down & up, sideways too but got no reply except strange sounding Welsh words

Which might have something to do with the sheep nuts he'd been snacking on earlier

Bah! said the Station Master, which somewhat startled Allan as he thought that all the sheep had departed on the truck.

Then he realised that after trying to count how many sheep were on the truck, by the simple expedient of counting the number of legs and dividing that number by four, he had fallen into a deep sleep.

It could, of course, been worse;. he could have fallen into a deep drainage ditch.

However it had been achieved, they had arrived at Fremantle where they were to board the ship for the next part of their exciting saga.

Sorry, that last word should have been adventure.

What a strange name for a place thought Allan ....why didn't he call it Chuck after his first name Charles ....meanwhile OH had counted all the bags and wondered when they bought one that looked like a sheep?
Oh well she thought he always wanted a sheepskin coat.
Then they saw the ship....when I say ship I really mean more like a ............

Tug Boat :-D such a.Shame as the only seat for Mr & Mrs.A to share had a chain on the side. Don't flush it oh you silly B### My feet are wet better go """

The tugboat took them out to the ship, which, due to its size, couldn't dock in the actual Port.

If this is the way to transfer passengers, thought Allan, doing a quick calculation, we'll still be here six weeks after the end of our holidays.

Still, steadily, inexorably, the transfers continued

When the tugboat seemed to start bringing crew that had obviously been "encouraged" to join....(press-ganged)...he got a tad worried....until he saw his quarters.....wow it was amazing it was super it.......