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A bit puzzled

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 4 Jul 2020 22:15

Weddings now can go ahead but why can’t the father walk his daughter down the aisle any idea? Surely they could walk together without touching.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 4 Jul 2020 22:29

Well I would have thought, if they were part of each others 'bubble', or even lived together, it would be okay!

Florence61

Florence61 Report 4 Jul 2020 23:48

If it were me, I would postpone until next year so i could have the wedding i wanted with all the guests I wanted.

Some of these rules are just plain rediculous!

You can get married but.... only 30 guests, no singing just the ceremony, no dad to walk beside you?/?

I really dont get it.

Florence in the hebrides :-S

Florence61

Florence61 Report 4 Jul 2020 23:49

Sorry to go away from the thread but Maggie, i see you have plenty of loo rolls...lol

Florence in the hebrides

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 5 Jul 2020 09:07

..even more loo rolls now, Florence - that photo was taken in March.

I was bemoaning the fact that I can't get my favourite ones locally, neither can I get the cat food in gravy that I prefer for my elderly cats.
Daughter came around last Wednesday (the cats 14th Birthday), with 36 cans of cat food and 3 x 24 packs of loo roll :-D :-D :-S :-S

Island

Island Report 5 Jul 2020 11:16

To be honest, I think it's time this 'giving away by father' was left in the past. It's all so hypocritical these days.



AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 5 Jul 2020 11:42

I think it is just traditional really isn’t it?part of the pageantry. The original wedding service doesn’t seem to matter to many. Strangely when our daughter, a widow married her now husband a widower she had my oh walk her down the aisle of the ‘chapel room’ in a hotel. I think she didn’t want to walk in on her own.

Island

Island Report 5 Jul 2020 13:44

Tradition and a large pot of cash these days Ann :-0 :-D

I've never been that good an actor to go along with the male domination and female subserviance required of a wedding show.

flappergirl

flappergirl Report 5 Jul 2020 14:14

I suppose it just depends on how you feel. I loved my traditional wedding as did our daughter. I know my father was really proud and pleased as punch to be giving away his much loved daughter as was my OH 27years later. No one on either occasion thought in terms of domination or subjugation, they were both just a wonderful happy day with much loved family and friends, no acting required! We're still together 56 years later!!!! Daughter seems to be surviving too!

Island

Island Report 5 Jul 2020 14:43

Well of course it's down to how you feel.

Cage rattled? :-0

I don't see where I may have suggested that marriages by the traditional route wouldn't survive. Oh... I didn't. :-D

flappergirl

flappergirl Report 5 Jul 2020 14:52

No one said you did! Just a useless piece of information! Cage definitely not rattled! I actually think it's sad you feel that way.

Island

Island Report 5 Jul 2020 15:16

Oh dear.......

So uncalled for.

8 posts and you're being so rude already.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 5 Jul 2020 23:27

I got married in a register office, with my mum, her husband (not my dad) known as el fascisto', my ex's aunt (his parents were dead) and her best friend - who happened to be Sri Lankan.
My mum and ex's aunt were witnesses - which left 'el fascisto' and the Sri Lankan waiting - together - outside :-D :-D :-D :-D
We still laugh about it!
I hope I'm 'allowed' to still be friends with my ex :-D :-D :-D

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 6 Jul 2020 04:33

I got married so long ago that no-one even thought about male and female dominance, although as I came from a maternal dominant society, dads didn't have much say anyway :-D

It was only just becoming common for grooms to have wedding rings! OH refused a wedding ring, but agreed to have a signet ring as such.

Our daughter got married 21 years ago, and wanted both her dad and myself to walk her down the aisle, the 3 of us arm in arm.

It was a good job we had a wedding rehearsal because that's when we discovered that the door way into the church proper was not wide enough for 3 people abreast. :-D

Daughter and OH had been attending that church for over 20 years, but not noticed that little fact

When everyone in the party, including the vicar, had recovered from their laughter as we got all tangled up, we worked out a way for 3 to get through ............. daughter went first, then waited while OH and I walked through, then we walked down the aisle 3 abreast.

I don't see any domination there!

Everyone is welcome to have their own views on this site, so there's no need for any one to say otherwise! It only leads to unpleasantness!


Although, Island ............... I don't think the majority of "normal" weddings these days do need a large supply of cash, from the parents anyway.

My daughter covered 50% of the cost of her wedding, and we did it for less than $10,000 .............. that included 3 bridesmaids, a church holding a maximum of 120, and a lunch reception for 120, with a string duo playing.

Amazing what you can do when you use student help ............

Students at the local catering college made a traditional English-style wedding cake with 3 layers as practice, and charged about 2/3rds of what the one and only confectioner in town who did the traditional fruit cake.

Two students in the music faculty at the university had a little "business" playing at functions ....... and could call on more students if a bigger group was wanted.

Daughter got her friends to help make the bridesmaid dresses.

and so on.

That was exceptionally cheap, but many of daughters' friends and of our friends have paid most if not all of the cost of their weddings, because people are getting married later here, or after living together for some years, and they actually do not think it fair for the parents to pay the costs for non-dependent daughters.

That's what happened when my sister-in-law's 2 daughters got married. Not sure what happened when her son got married ........... he was actually the only one of the 3 to have a traditional church wedding. Nor did any of them want their mother to conduct the service although she was an Anglican priest. She did walk the 2 girls down the "aisle" in their open air weddings, and their marriages conducted by a Registrar..

My daughter got married at age 25 but had only just finished her Master's degree, so she'd never had a full time job, neither had her husband, who was 27. But she had saved up her pennies from the summer jobs, etc.

But my nephew and nieces had all lived with their partners for some time, were between 27 and 32 years of age, and been in full time employment for between 3 and 6 years.

Tawny

Tawny Report 6 Jul 2020 09:14

My parents did pay for my wedding and had one request that my dad was allowed to walk me down the aisle. My dad started saving when I was a little girl as he’s always viewed it as his responsibility even if the rest of us didn’t. My dad told us this is the budget not the target and if it costs any more then you’re paying for it. Which is entirely fair.

My brother and sister in law have postponed their wedding till next year. They were meant to be getting married July 18th. It means hopefully they’ll have the day they want.

Dermot

Dermot Report 6 Jul 2020 10:05

'Shotgun' weddings are rarely mentioned these days.

Island

Island Report 6 Jul 2020 11:45

:-D :-D :-D maggie @ 23:27 - now that would suit!
Great mental image there :-D

Each to their own. If we can't have different views without others getting defensive that's a pretty sad state of affairs.

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 6 Jul 2020 17:38

Island ........ I really agree with you last comment.

Unfortunately there are some who don't agree with us ;-)

and there are others who delete their postings and/or RR opposing views, throw the dummy out of the pram in a paddy, and others who storm off in high dudgeon.

It can be entertaining if you're a watcher, not so much if you're the target.

nameslessone

nameslessone Report 6 Jul 2020 17:42

Absolutely agree with Sylvia. There seems to be more of it going on just lately

SuffolkVera

SuffolkVera Report 6 Jul 2020 21:04

I’m a bit late coming to this thread but in answer to Island’s post (5.7.20 11.16) I don’t think the bride has had to be “given away” for a long while. There are all sorts of alternative words that can be used and the bride can walk down alone or be accompanied by anyone she chooses.

When I got married back in the dark ages (1963) I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle as it was a support to me and gave him a role to play. However I did have “obey” removed from the “love, honour and obey” bit. I’m not sure if it was a requirement at a church wedding then but I had a very accommodating vicar who accepted my argument that love and honour should cover all that’s needed.