General Chat

Hi Jill, I haven't replied before because I couldn't think of anything helpful to say. We were in this position last year and, in the end, we realised we were on our own and had to sort it all out for ourselves. If Dad had lived in a council house or been broke they would have fallen over themselves but as soon as they realised he had his own house and savings we didn't see any of them for dust. Good Luck, Gwynne

Hi Gwynne I am told it doesn't matter that he has his own house, and if he does move he will sell it. My boss is a Financial Adviser and will advise him where to put his money to maximum effect. I don't totally trust authorities though, they may say it doesn't matter, but you may still be put to the end of the list in their minds to make way for People they think may have a better cause. I suppose this is where the Social Workers and Doctor will come in with the battle, because I am expecting one. Thanks for your reply. Kindest Regards Jill

Hi Jill, That's exactly what we found. He wasn't releasing a council house for a family so the local council put him in the 'pending' pile. Priority (around here) goes to those in social housing. The social worker said she couldn't recommend anywhere as they are not allowed to but did give me a list. She said that there were those 'more in need' than my Dad and they had to have priority. He was 96 with multiple health problems and kept falling over ............. The GP was as helpful as he could be and it was he who helped us find the place where Dad is now - which is costing a fortune. But that doesn't matter - at least he's being looked after. Once he found the vacancy the rest was up to us but we knew he wouldn't have mentioned it if he hadn't thought it was ok. Gwynne

The two old ladies I look after had their own house and put their name down for several different places, housing association, council, and methodist church places, and got one from the housing association then sold their house and kept the money. My late mum's neighbours who are in their 70's, did the same even tho they are still very active, just decided to do it before they became infirm and they moved just over a year ago and sold their house. I have known many folk around my area who have done the same, it just depends on supply and demand, but we are lucky in Norwich in that there are lots of choices.

Rebekah I forgot to say my Dad couldn't afford a Bungalow out here because they are hugely expensive. Housing in his City are cheaper. Gwynne If your Dad wasn't in need at 96 with multiple health problems and in danger by falling over who is? Words fail me I don't understand People sometimes. My Dad is falling over too and it is worrying me as he has to crawl along the floor, get himself to the stairs and haul himself up. Thankfully he hasn't injured himself yet. He won't wear one of those alarms, I have given him a mobile phone but he won't carry it just takes it up to the shops with him when he is with his carer so hardly needs it then anyway. Liz I think different areas have different rules, I am sure you couldn't go into council sheltered before if you owned your own house but I think they have changed it. Thank you all. Kindest Regards Jill

We must be lucky in Norwich, Jill, because one elderly lady I looked after sold her house after getting a place about 18 years ago. Hope you get your dad settled soon. Liz

Hi Everyone Have just come off the phone after speaking to the Social Services and they don't support People who want to move. They only give equipment etc to enable People to live in their own homes. Still seething, my Dad hasn't asked for anything in his life and now he needs help they don't want to know unless he wants stair rails etc. Regards Jill

Jill, have you tried getting your Dr. involved, maybe he/she could help. Lin x

Hi Lin The Doctor is going to be my next port of call. I phoned Age Concern just now and they gave me their Housing Advocacy number. So I will ring that tomorrow and see what they can suggest. Thank you. Regards Jill

Hi Everyone I rang the Council today and my Dad has gone up five places, so he is 15th on the list I couldn't have rang that long ago so that is good news. Age Concern also gave me a phone number for Care Direct Helpline and they were very helpful and have emailed me loads of information. I also have information on Sheltered Housing in the City he lives in just in case he can't get in out here. Thanks for all of your support, just thought I would keep you informed. Regards Jill

Hi Jill I am in a similar situation to you. My mum lives 30 miles away but the only transport I have is a moped so i have to juggle visits around work and weather permitting. Plus I have 3 grand children that want me to visit. Mum is 80 and has been on her own for such along time but her health is deteriorating fast. She hardly leaves her bungalow as she can not walk. The only time I know she goes out is when she gets a taxi to the post ofice then does her shopping and a taxi home again. She has now got her bungalow upfor sale so she can move nearer to us but so far this year she has had only 2 viewers. And we also have the problem of her not being able to afford a bungalow in the same town as us. She could go for a warden assisted bungalow as they are a bit cheaper when they are available but one mention of a warden and she does not want to know. I have not thought of asking our council if they could house her as she owns a bungalow. Dont know how I would stand with that one. Although I can see my mum poo pooing the idea of a council home.. Shall be interested to see you outcome. I do have a little hope though as my brother who lives the other end of the country is hoping to move up some time this year and he as a people carrier so visits would become more frequent then.

Hi there Ring your council and housing trusts, I think they are realising People who own their houses can't always afford to buy Sheltered Accomodation and are being more lenient towards private owners. The housing trusts might sound a bit better to your Mother than Council. Start soon though there are waiting lists, the sooner you get your Mum on one the better for her. I know how difficult and worrying it is when your Parent lives too far away, so I hope you can get something sorted out soon. Regards Jill

Have you thought about contacting your local councillor? My parents have been having problems with anti-social behaviour of neighbours making their lives a misery. I e mailed councillors who have been very helpful. Also agree withj everyone elses view on seeing GP and referrel to Social Worker Good Luck Kath

My Father's Doctor said he couldn't write a letter in support of my Father as they are not allowed to do that anymore. Yesterday the Council rang my Dad and said he is on the short-list for a flat in sheltered accomodation he is going to see it on Monday and he will know for sure on Tuesday if he has it. This afternoon Abbeyfield rang and said they have a vacancy and they want to see my Dad so we are also going there on Monday. It never rains but it pours (especially at the moment) these are both in my home town and not far away from me so fingers crossed as he is desperate to move. Thank you for your support and I will let you know next week the outcome. Regards Jill

I hope everything works out for you Gwynne

Thank you Gwynne we are really excited. Regards Jill

Good luck - you deserve it - all the best for you Dad - hoping XX

Hi Jill, Glad to see that things are moving at long last. Hope this works out well for your dear Dad. Trish xx

Glad you and your dad seem to be getting somewhere at last and hope one of the choices will be suitable and he can move and feel happy and safe. Liz

Thank you Gilliam, Trish and Liz will let you know on Monday or Tuesday how things so. Fingers crossed. Regards Jill