General Chat

When in the car you can scream because you are contained. You can scream very loudly and say filthy words and nasty expletives and no one can hear. Would I do that?

inevitable, im affraid so make the most of your life and have fun while you can xxLynnxx

It wasn't me who revived this old chestnut? Naughty, naughty phantom nudger. Aileen xx PS The vote means nothing to women. We should be armed! A xxx

Hi Jan, Sorry, was typing when you posted. Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper wearing know it all teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks'!!! Aileen xxxx

Passing 'wind' in front of your o.h. is acceptable. he grabs your b#m and hopes you feel it. When he turns over in bed and gets smothered. Lin xxxx

When you get stopped whilst driving......... To Slow...........then you realise he's being nice to you as he went out with your grand daughter Jac

When the only thing a short skirt on a shapely body affects, is your pace maker. Jac

with the exception of an occasional heart attack, you feel as young as you ever did! Aileen xx

Your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you don't know until the 4th of July. Being a little hippie doesn't have the same meaning as it did in the 60s. Aileen xxx

Growing old is compulsary where as growing up isn't!! ;o)

A privilege denied to many Ann

nudge for my mate Jacqui

enjoyed your thread keep it up very funny xxxx

The only good thing about failing eyesight is that you can't see the face wrinkles! Anne

Brilliant thread, havent stopped giggling, thats cos they are all me! Not many men on is there or are they under other names /

Have laughed so much !! Thanks All Kaz x

love this thread Caz

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing

Growing old - this made my day!! Janey Turn those speakers up and rock out as you read below and ............... AMEN!!!!!! to all of this!!!!!!! The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know. Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? Hooray for us Red Hatters!!!! I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 40 &50's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love . I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it) Growing ol

growing old is when a broard mind and a narrow waist swop places lol xx