General Chat

I agree with Brenda!! Growing old means not caring what people think....and living your life your way...at last!!! Oh, the freedom..... Nanna-Moo ;-))

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. .. As I turn on the hose in the drive, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. ... As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is post on the porch table that I brought up from the post box earlier. .. I decide to go through the post before I wash the car. .. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the waste bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. .. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. .. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. . My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. .. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the fridge to keep it cold. .. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered .. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. .. I decide I'd better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. .. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. .. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. .. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. .. So, I put the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. .. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. . At the end of the day: * the car isn't washed * the bills aren't paid * there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter * the flowers don't have enough water, * there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, * I can't find the remote, * I can't find my glasses, * and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. .. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC. Bx

nudging this because it's guaranteed to make you laugh your socks off. Brilliant!!!!! Karen

SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . having friends. At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence. At age 35 success is . . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence. At age 75 success is . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

Nudging - coz we all need a laugh!

Middle age spread and blaming it on 'the fashion' - having to buy something 2/3 sizes too bigger than 'normal' because it feels comfy !! Coughing - and remembering you have forgotten the 'tenna lady'. lol Libby xx

O what a great thread, laughed laughed thankyou all ann nnnn

Funny this as just a few days ago whilst rummaging in my bag I commented to my son that the contents had changed over the years - I used to have spare tights, makeup bag, Dunhill and perfume now it is a spare pair of knickers, tena lady, indigestion tablets, small battery fan - oh how the mighty have fallen!!

I dont know why everybody is laughing at this thread. I keep saying 'ouch' at everything. If it is not me it is my OH. :(((((

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married. She said: I want to keep my house. He said: that's fine with me. She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac. He said: That's fine with me. She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week. He said: That's fine with me... Put me down for Fridays.

when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places

(Sorry about the capitals - couldn't be bothered to type it all out again - you know how things are so much effort when you get old!!) GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN. BETWEEN 18 AND 22, A WOMAN IS LIKE AFRICA, HALF DISCOVERED, HALF WILD, NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL WITH FERTILE SOIL. BETWEEN 23 AND 30, A WOMAN IS LIKE AMERICA, WELL DEVELOPED AND OPEN TO TRADE, ESPECIALLY FOR SOMEONE WITH CASH. BETWEEN 31 AND 35, A WOMAN IS LIKE INDIA, VERY HOT, RELAXED AND CONVINCED OF HER OWN BEAUTY. BETWEEN 36 AND 40, A WOMAN IS LIKE FRANCE, GENTLY AGING BUT STILL WARM AND A DESIRABLE PLACE TO VISIT. BETWEEN 41 AND 50, A WOMAN IS LIKE GREAT BRITAIN, WITH A GLORIOUS AND ALL CONQUERING PAST. BETWEEN 51 AND 60, A WOMAN IS LIKE YUGOSLAVIA, LOST THE WAR AND HAUNTED BY PAST MISTAKES. BETWEEN 61 AND 70, A WOMAN IS LIKE RUSSIA, VERY WIDE AND BORDERS ARE NOW UNPATROLLED AFTER 70, SHE BECOMES TIBET. WILDLY BEAUTIFUL, WITH A MYSTERIOUS PAST AND THE WISDOM OF THE AGES. ONLY THOSE WITH AN ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT AND A THIRST FOR SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE VISIT THERE. 'GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN' BETWEEN 1 AND 70, A MAN IS LIKE AMERICA - RULED BY A DICK. Bx

*Observations from the Wise (and Old?) **1. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 2. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 3. A penny saved is a government oversight. 4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. 5. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 6. He who hesitates is probably right. 7. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 8. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 9. Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. 10. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. 11. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. 12. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? 13. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? 14. Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. 15. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free YET ?? 16. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. 17. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. 18. Don't cry because it's over: smile because it happened. 19. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 20. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. 21. Once over the hill, you pick up speed. 22. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. 23. If it were not for STRESS, I'd have no energy at all. 24. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 25. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 26. I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. 27. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. 28. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. 29. We cannot change the direction of the wind... but we can adjust our sails. 30. If the shoe fits... buy it in every color. Map out your future, but do it in pencil.* **

growing old is when multitasking means you can laugh, cough, sneeze, furt & pee all at the same time.

Remember when going all the way used to mean to the end of the terminus. Only way to remember when you last had sex is to only have it on birthdays and anniversaries!

When your OH is zzzzz and your on here!!!. Just ;like me. lol Libby xx

You too Libby!

As ever!! Bless. Libby x

Growing old is .......... Some bits have gone grey, some bits have gone South........ and the rest has gone West.

Going to the bar with a fiver and thinking you can get two pints and a glass of wine and get some change after tipping the bar staff !!. Libby xxx