General Chat

Decided to heck with the Coroner's report, and to heck with waiting for testing-organised immediate family to get together 4th November, got stacks of fire works, going to get lager, wine, cider, make pizza's, pasta, jacket spuds wih various fillings, bangers (sausages) for the kids, etc. etc got them bright lights, necklaces, gonna make soup, hot pot, make a great farewell party for Sephen, guess what-had a letter from church, arranged a memorial service for the fifth. Readings, songs, candles and tes-now what do I do and what do I say, so cannot say goodbye to Stephen on the 4th, what all the family need-cos we have a memorial service on he fifth-help PLEASE. Whatever I do or plan seems to turn around. Jennifer.

Just do both.. Say goodbye in your own way, then do the memorial service in the morning. I know you would prefer to leave it at the fireworks, but maybe some especially elderly relatives and friends, would prefer the service to say goodbye their way too. Ok it will go over two days, but really, I think it will be good for you all.

It states readings, candles and tea, do not want tea and sympathy-what reading do I give-oh! heck what a mess.Sorry if I am being a burden Again-JUST SEEM TO HAVE LOST IT-ALWAYS EVERYTHING IS WRONG.

Just take a few deep breaths and think on it for a day or so before making a decision. Ask around the family too, they may have ideas for readings and so on.

What do I do??????

Jennifer, you will be surprised how moving, but helpful the readings candles tea type memorial really is. I went to one for my Dad last year at the Hospice, and it was really really helpful. Hun, don't get yourself worked up about it now. Obviously the family are in favour of the fireworks etc, and I think its a brilliant idea. Colour, like Stephen said the other day. Maybe you could move it a day, and have it in the evening AFTER the memorial? Like I said, give it a day or so to think about it and discuss it with the family.

Jennifer Have the main farewell on the 4th as planned & a quiet private one on the 5th. I'm going to bed now, but please pm me if you need to. ((((((((Angela))))))))

Got a long shift the next day, that is why I arranged it for the 4th-maybe Stphen is telling me somehing-everything I try and do never work's out.

Jennifer, the important thing is to get help from the family and close friends. Whatever you do, don't take all on by yourself, you'll soon find you might have bitten off more than you can chew. Get others to help you, it will help thier grief too, especially his girlfriend.

It will work out Jennifer, just needs a little trimming and rearranging to fit, thats all.

Think I just want to crawl up in a corner.

Teresa I totally agree. Angela

Jennifer you are a lady of real wisdom, I'm off to bed now but will pm as I know you will do the right thing for lovely lad, Nite darlin, a great Mum, Caz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry but feel a bit lost here, maybe it would be good, fireworks and bangers and then Church Service, need to find a reading-think I should write my own-God Bless you all and thank you for putting up with me, someday I will put a happy thread on here and shock you all. Just having a bad time at the moment.

Do both PLEASE!! Celebrate Stephen's life in the way you see fit.... you could ask the church to postpone the memorial service if you feel they are too close together!! Do what you think is right - not what others tell you sweetie!! He'll be proud of you no matter what happens! xx

I just want to make my kids happy, including Stephen.

Jennifer We're all here. Trust us. Angela

Thank you

Just give yourself a few days to think it over Jennifer and I'm sure that you will do the right thing. Good Luck, thinking of you.

Jennifer, I think both sound lovely events - a family get together so that you, his family, can celebrate Stephen's life with a personal, family occasion, in a way that the family want, and then a more traditional thanksgiving and memorial service the next day. Other people may want to attend the service to show their respects, and if you agree to the tea, it will give them the chance to speak to you, which may well be what they would like to do. If the readings are bothering you, perhaps someone else will read out your words for you, a friend of Stephen's, the person taking the service. Sadly, I have been to many and each one has been different, there is no right or wrong way of doing things. If you need any help with poems to choose from, I'm sure we can all suggest lots of ideas for you to choose from Jay