General Chat

would you go on holiday there? It looks a bit quiet but fairly close to bigger town/area?

O.h. has two weeks off in Sept and we were planning to go to a local cottage, 40 miles away, but it is very quiet there and I end up bored, cooking every night then he goes to sleep and I am stuck without even a computer for company. Only good bit is having seperate rooms so I can read myself to sleep and don't get disturbed when he gets up - he can go off for a stomp on the beach and I can get up when I feel like it, depending on the fibromyalgia and cfs etc. I rarely get time to myself tho as he will come back and eat and then want me to go out with him, wouldn't mind sometimes as long as we didn't then get back to the cottage which is lovely, very roomy etc, but I end up cooking dinner while he sits down cos 'he has been up since 8' or whatever. It's a holiday for him cos he isn't at work but not for me, he is not the best company and I would rather go somewhere different where we can walk to lit streets with restaurants etc and maybe more interesting things to see and do some days.
We know the other place inside out and it's dark at night, only a couple of pubs and restaurants for meals and he won't even bother going out to them if he has come in from some where further away, I have to drive when it's dark cos he has night blindness and it gets dark at 6pm at that time of year.
He messed up with booking time off or we would have had a holiday in June when he days were longer and brighter.

I have found quite a nice self catering place to stay, he won't go to hotels or b and bs, he is moaning a bit about having to drive further and the cost of petrol, it's going up again apparently, and also the cost of the accommodation as the cottage is half the price of most places.

Any ideas folks?
Can't get him on a plane any more, only managed three trios abroad which were his first package hols and long flights.

Lizx

Liz
Could you pm me the address where you are thinking of staying please? Is it actually at Dungeness? Maybe I can then tell how remote it is.
Dungeness is quirky and well-liked by some, but there is nothing much there. There is an R.S.P.B. reserve, which is an important nesting and visiting stop-over place for migrating birds.
There's a power station.
There's a lot of shingle, which is still forming into one of the biggest shingle banks in the world.
There are 2 lighthouses.

How near do you call close for towns?
Dungeness is a headland on it's own, not very near any towns.
There are some pleasant pubs, which are noted particularly for their fish and chips, as the coast is fished by local fishing boats.

Gwyn

Can you compromise and do a week B&B and a week at home with days out?

Tell him you need a break too - and 1 week off the cooking will make a world of difference for you.

Janice

Get him a fishing rod and tell him to catch the tea,that area has the best beach fishing in England.
You could go with him and sit in a deckchair with a magazine.
Only trouble is ,you will still be cooking ,fish ,lol.
Fred

what about your holiday or dont you get one cant you take another couple with you and split the cost it would be company for you and your husband and you could share cooking ect my mum and dad go on holiday with friends and during the day the girls go off shopping and leave the boys to their own devices as well as having days out together and in the evening they all play cards go out for meal or drink or whatever takes their fancy seems a shame you have to be stuck in a place with nothing you would be better staying at home with all your own comforts

I wouldn't choose to stay at Dungeness as it can be very bleak and cold as it is so flat. Try Camber Sands, not too far from there, we rent a cosy cottage at a reasonable price just 10 mins walk to a sandy beach and close to Rye which is an interesting town. My husband for some reason always likes to drive around Dungeness Power station, the only good thing is The Pilot Inn which serves lovely fish & chips .We originally come from that area and often stay at the cottage to visit my elderly Mother in law who is in a rest home at Hastings. I don't do much cooking while there as the pub food is reasonably priced and it saves going shopping too often.

Thanks all, having looked at the place again I have decided it would be a nicer area in the Spring/early Summer so will try to make sure that if there is a holiday to be booked next year, he gets the dates right and books early at work, so we can be there during longer days, then we can enjoy the beach in the evening too, and get out and about more.

Will have a look at somewhere else for this time. Any suggestions? (be polite lol)

Due to the way o.h. is with people we don't have any couples we would consider holidaying with, (or rather, who would consider holidaying with us lol) My friends found him hard work from the start so we don't mix and socialise, I visit them or stay in touch by phone, when I can. He has few friends, only men with drink problems, so wouldn't want them tagging along.

Ideally I would leave him at home and go off on my own to stay with friends, but I can't afford that and he wouldn't pay. Also I wouldn't trust him not to throw out some of my things or kill off my plants while I am away, would rather trust them to my son to come and water while we are both away.

Janice, he wouldn't even go in a b and b when his company sent him on a course, he went to a Travelodge instead where he could do his own thing. He is really bad at socialising and can only chat to people if he has had a drink or several, so wouldn't cope in a b and b and with my sleep problems I would miss breakfast too often anyway. Being in one room together wouldn't work either, it was ok when we went to Liverpool for a long weekend but three nights was more than enough lol

Oh well, maybe it will be N. Norfolk after all, if the cottage is still available when desperation sets in lol

thanks all for the input, and Fred, sorry I refuse to gut and clean fish before cooking, he wouldn't do that for me, he is too squeamish.
What a rubbish choice I made nearly 13 years ago, what was I thinking?

Lizx

"He wouldn't pay"?
Why not - sounds like you are well-overdue for some time off for good behaviour!!

dont ask him just go and book holiday you want then tell him after lol

Purple, I was going to say my OHis like that, but on reading further am glad to say he isnt that bad. He can get on with people if he puts himself out, and wont handle money, I have it all. He has just offered to have beans on toast for dinner so I can go out with Jude next week, so I would say you picked very badly. Pity you cant show him some of our comments!

Hi Purple,

I originate from that corner of Kent and I love it. However if you are not into isolation, birdwatching, rare plants and walking over miles of pebbles keep away.
The RSPB reserve is one of the best and there is a shop/stall selling fish on the day its caught. That is it apart from the Romney Hythe and Dymchurch Railway which runs along the coast for about 11 miles to Hythe.

Stay in Dymchurch, Hythe, Rye or Camber if you are looking for something to do in the evenings. In Dungeness there are only 2 pubs and the lighthouse and if the mists come down, the foghorn sears into your very soul.............................................

As we aren't married and I am here under sufferance, it's very much a case of his and mine rather than ours so I cannot just book something without his sayso as I don't have the funds available, he is still working, I am an oap. Sometimes he can be ok and generous but then it gets thrown back at me at a later date so that's why I am careful what I arrange etc. He is happy for me to sort out all the arrangements and run them by him and usually pays but lately he has been different, I think he might be sending his son money in America, as he has been on the scrounge a few weeks ago.

Bernie, I love the sound of the place, just not in the dark lol that's why I think I will consider it for next Spring if we are still talking to each other lol

Believe me, if I could up and leave I would but it's very complicated and I am stuck here at the mo.

thanks again everyone,
Lizxx

Liz
If you do venture this way sometime, please let me know.
I'll keep you company for an hour or so, while your OH does his own thing.
Dungeness is only a bus ride away from me.

Gwyn

Hi Liz, I live in that area and I like Dungeness. It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and this year my 22 yr old son took me to the Pilot - which I haven't been to in years. There are lots of (breezy) walks along the coast. I haven't been to the RSPB reserve but my stepmother tells me it is excellent.

Derek Jarman's house is in Dungeness. (Google him)

It is very bleak. I love Rye and I am quite fond of Dynchurch and Camber, which are more traditional English seaside resorts.

Eiither way there is lots of history on Romney Marsh, a former smugglers' paradise. My friend's children were christened in Snargate church, which has a painting of a ship on a wall inside - a traditional sign that the church was friendly to smugglers!!

Sorry purple but it doesnt sound like much of a holiday with your OH

I'd tell him to go on his own stay at home and spend the time with your friends.

Helen, you would have a job googling Derek Jarman - he died in 1994. Unless you have a direct line to the hereafter that is.

Mac, wish I could, we would have a laugh eh? forgotten when you are going but around the air show etc I know, are you buying any more bits for the Red Arrows to bring back for you?

Cross your fingers folks that I win the lottery or euromillions this week and we can all go on holiday to Malta lol Between us Mac and I can show you the sights lol

Lorraine, you are right, it isn't much fun with him and if I had the money I would go on my own like a shot.

If I do get Kent way I will organise a mini meet Gwyn,and Helen, it would be nice eh? Or will definitely call you and meet up, he doesn't mind me doing that I have to say, I have met up with people before to have a break from him. I have read up about the places mentioned and they all sound very interesting, would be nice to see somewhere new.

He has come home every night this week, driving instead of cycling and his knee is no better, he is really tired and hasn't mentioned the holiday. Maybe he took my words to heart last week when I said I wasn't sure I want to go away with him now lol

I have just been looking at some cheap last minute hols abroad, his passport is valid, maybe if I could convince him it would work out cheaper, or the same price and no driving, he might be tempted so I could lay on a warm beach every day and read and snooze, and eat lovely meals every night that I didn't have to cook or wash up after lol

Will keep you posted.
Lizx

Hi Bernie, a direct line would be good, lol, but there is still info about his garden on google - I took a look as you had me worried!

Tiny little garden and in such a bleak spot. When my daughter was at school the 6th form art class came to visit it and draw it - couldn't have taken long!

I believe Jarman's partner still lives in the house.

Liz, have a good holiday wherever you go and if you ever come this way a mini-meet would be fun!

Helen
I have visited the house and garden a few years ago, when it was open during the local Arts festival week.

There are a few pictures if you look on Google and select ...Images.

Gwyn

Thank you, Gwyn, I'll take a look