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I wonder if anyone could help me. My Dad is 83 years old, he has been independent since my Mum died in 1989. Just lately his house has been getting too much for him. He is now having problem with disrespectful Children playing football outside of his Property and causing damage to his hedge etc. I have put his name down in my area, I live in a Town outside of the City he lives in, for sheltered housing with the Council, Guinness Trust and also Abbeyfield. He owns his house but I am told this isn’t a problem. They are all full, but he is desperate to move near me so we can support him, take him out etc. He only goes out once a week when his carer takes him shopping unless we take him out. His carer has Family problems and I think wants to leave, but she has been with him for ten years and doesn’t want to let him down. Should we get a Social Worker involved as he is disabled through Arthritis, has had Heart problems and is on lots of different tablets? If anyone has been through this and has any information that would help me I would be grateful.

You really do need help. Get his GP to write to the housing people you have applied to. A Social Worker can also help to speed things up. This happened to my Dad and by the time we got it sorted it was two late, he had alzeimers-so keep pushing so your Dad can be near you and enjoy the special times with you and yours. But be warned, if he is in a Care enviroment he will have to sell his house to finance this, which I think is terrible, as he would have worked all his life for his own home and then they take it off you, but you have to decide as a family the best route to take regarding this. Good luck. Jennifer.

Hello Jennifer Thank you for your reply. I will get a Social Worker involved and take Dad to his Doctor to get a letter from him. I don't know if my Dad is up to this though, when I put on the Housing Application Form about the boys outside his house he didn't like it. I don't think he wants to be any trouble, but I think I will have to make him see that we have to push in order for him to be near me. Thanks once again. Regards Jill

Hi Jill sorry to hear of your situation. Totally agree you most definitely need to get a Social worker involved. Not only because of your Dads situation but also because you have health problems. I really hope you can get the help you need. Lin xx

You must involve his doctor and social workers.I must admit ss are not very fast.I work in sheltered housing for the frail and elderly and we do have a waiting list,so best to get the ball rolling now.Good Luck Annie

Jill. Take your Dad to his Doctor's and ask the doc for the letter for his health problems and ask the doctor to put in it that your Dad needs to move for support from you. Then take a photocopy of the letter and take the original to the council and ask for a Prority medical form,(if they have them.)Fill the form in and ask for a visit from the medical visitor team for your Dad at his home. This should get him on the list for a priority move to be nearer you and your family. Hope this helps Suexxxxx

Please keep us updated of how you are doing-and best of british luck to you.

Hello Jill - hope you get something sorted for your dad, bless him, he's so lucky to have you:o)))) jude sarf wales xx

If he's ex Services (and probably is due his age) why not contact your local office of SSAFA to see if they can advise/help. But if you do PLEASE make sure you tell them of everything you've done to try to fix a place for him - this avoids 'crossed wires' and different organisations being at odds with one another. SSAFA liaise with lots of other charitable trusts. Hope this helps. Ron

Hello Lin, Annie and Sue Thank you for your replies, I will take my Dad to the Doctors and get a letter, I don't know if the Council do priority medical but I will find out. I will also contact a Social Worker and get them to come around. Jennifer I will keep everyone updated, but I don't suppose I will have any news for a while. Ron Thank you for that yes Dad was in the Royal Navy WW11 and Army afterwards. I will contact the SSAFA after the Doctor and Social Worker and see what they have to say to help us. Thank you all again you have been wonderful and so supportive. Sorry I haven't got back to you all sooner, but it is difficult to get back on the computer sometimes. Kindest Regards Jill

Jill,If your dad goes into sheltered housing he will still need a carer which they do not provide.We provide support (help with all forms,calling ambulances etc)We also provide a hot meal at mid day.Social Services should provide the carer. annie

Hi Annie Thank you for the information about carers, I didn't realise he could still have one if he was in Sheltered Accomodation. All information helps. Thanks again. Kindest Regards Jill

Have you got your Dad's name down already for sheltered housing, you can do that now and then add the necessary info for pushing up the list according to the priorities and how many points he gets. Be as flexible as possible in the choosing of the areas, as if you only put down one place he will probably have to wait ages. My Mum did that after having a couple of heart attacks and being unable to go upstairs anymore, and was having to live downstairs for a year, with a commode in the hall, or an outside loo, and washing in the kitchen sink. She coped incredibly well -she had her bed downstairs in the large living room but it was a shame she never lived long enough to get a small s.h. cottage which she had hoped for. Hope you get your Dad into somewhere nice and close by. There are places that can be purchased as well as Council run and Housing Association places too. Liz

Hi Liz I put my Dad on the Council list recently and the Guinnes Trust list. He also has his name down on Abbeyfield. We can't be flexible as I want him to live in my town so I can visit him as often as possible aand he has us here to fall back on if needs be. We did look at buying and there was a sheltered flat for purchase here, but it was too expensive which was a shame because that would have been the quickest option. Thank you for replying. Kindest Regards Jill

Hi Jill. When you contact SSAFA they will probably want to visit your Dad to talk things thro. Would be wise if you be there as the Case Worker has to complete a report then make recommendations. The Case Worker will no doubt involve other forces/civvy organisations but I must emphasise again, the Case Worker will need all the facts regarding any action you have taken todate - good idea would be for you to make a list of what you've done and who you have contacted so far. Hope all goes well for your Dad. Ron

Glad you have your dad on the lists already Jill, what I meant was be as flexible as possible with the areas within your district. In Norwich we have many different S.A. communities and if my Mum had put her name down for more than just the one on my doorstep, which I could have coped with, she might have had somewhere sooner. I wouldn't have minded travelling a mile or so to reach her but she thought she was helping me and not being a nuisance if she stayed close by. As it was she never moved, altho she did say making the decision would be so hard, she wasn't sure she could cope with it. In the end she never had to as she died in the house she had lived in most of her married life and beyond, a brand new council house in 1949. It was so hard returning it to the council, mum and dad never took up the right to buy it, which was a shame, my brothers and I would have bought it for them but they wouldn't get involved with mortgages and such. Good luck with finding somewhere suitable for your dad. Liz

I feel really sorry for you Jill, because I know how intimidating antisocial brats can be (from previous house we lived in), and Im only 30. I'd hate to be that age and have to put up with it. I think its a postcode lottery for the housing, where Im originally from it IS a prob if you own your own house, so you're probably lucky that you have a more understanding authority. Can you ask social services to speak to the council? Some sheltered housing is more to do with the council than social services, depending.

Just an idea, could you not sell his house and buy a bungalow near you? He'd still be entitled to a carer so you'd get a break. Its diabolical they take so long to sort sheltered housing out.

Hi Ron That's a good idea I will record everything I do. Thanks for helping. Hi Liz I live in a small town, there are no real area's as such. But I may speak to Dad about puttinghis name down in the city he lives in it is not what we want but he may get out sooner. Thank you. Hi Rebekah The two main problem boys are Brothers, 1 may have learning difficulties. They only live two doors down and moved in recently Dad has always had problems with kids messing around outside of his property because he has a big green in front of his house. Why they choose just one small area is beyond me. Dad is afraid to speak to the Mother because he doesn't know what sort of reception he would get, he is disabled to the walk would take it out of him, and if the Mother wasn't nice I think he would be too upset to walk back again. I would talk to her, but I am afraid I may make matters worse, these days you do not know what to do for the best do you regarding yobs. I am hoping Social Services will talk to the Council there is a place 5 to 10 minutes walk from me which would be ideal. Thanks for your reply. Thanks to you all. Kindest Regards Jill